I Love This Man

It could be that I'm extra-hormonal, or just having been through everything we have in the past few months I'm more sensitive...but I don't think I have ever loved Tim more so than I do now. He amazes me with his strong faith, positive outlook on life and our future, encouragement, crying shoulder, and sensitivity. He doesn't complain when he is asked to rub my feet or back and loves to spend the evening with his hand resting on my belly waiting for a hello kick from our daughter. He is fantastic with Noah and is the one that gives him a bath and puts him to bed at night. He is able to sense when I am tired and encourages, if not orders, me to go rest for as long as I need.

I love watching his interaction with Noah and how much Noah absolutely can't get enough of him. I know that the dynamics of our family will change after the baby comes, but I am glad that Noah and Tim already have a closer bond than Noah and myself so that I do not feel too much like I am betraying him with another child. Not to say that Noah doesn't love me, but when both Tim and I are home - his preference is Tim and I am fine with that. It hurt at first when he would hurt himself and cry for Tim instead of me...then I realized how cool that must feel for Tim to be the one who can give him comfort after two years of Noah preferring me. I can't wait to see how he does with a daughter.

Yesterday at church Tim was on the worship team. He sang "Everlasting God" and during the song I looked at him and my heart swelled with love. I am so blessed to have found a soulmate that I can walk this life journey with. I couldn't have dreamt of anyone better suited for me and able to challenge me in the ways he has. Our wedding day, May 24, 2003.

Our first home was an apartment, but this was the first house we bought less than a year after we were married. Mayfield Avenue, Grand Rapids. We had great neighbors. And our first "child", a chocolate lab we named Pippin. Unfortunately, a doctor encouraged us to get rid of him after I started having breathing problems a couple years later. Looking back, I don't think it was due to him at all...but he is with a fantastic family now and I think with how much we've moved around since then that it was probably better for all involved. I do miss him.We were lucky to celebrate our first anniversary with a trip to Cancun. My sister and her husband were going down for her belated graduation gift from our uncle and they asked if we wanted to come along since it's a suite condo. I had been a few years before for my graduation gift and was thrilled to go back. We had a great time...and apparently gained some sunburn.Waiting for the arrival of Noah Edwin. Tim was the textbook father-to-be that day: timing contractions and getting frustrated if I didn't let him know when was starting so he couldn't time correctly, taking pictures (surprisingly this is me before the epidural and I'm smiling), and waiting nervously.I will never forget this first time he held Noah (thank you to whatever nurse snapped this shot) or the first time he saw him. He cried so hard I was actually jealous that I couldn't match him. Another day he cried much harder than me: Noah's dedication. He sang "Holy is the Lord" by Andrew Peterson and although he had practiced numerous times at home, I don't think the lyrics hit him until he was singing it in church staring at Noah in the front row. If you've never heard the song - go find it. It's on one of the City On a Hill CDs. It conveys the story of Abraham being asked to sacrifice Isaac and what he must have felt that day, yet still being faithful in obeying and as a result God does spare Isaac. Randy (on guitar) and Deidra (on piano) did a great job covering for him until he could pull it together enough to finish the song.

Now we await the arrival of Eleanor. I am excited to be going through this process with him again. I can't wait to see what is in store for our family over the coming years.

Hit By A Flashback

I went to Meijer the other day with the goal of purchasing two items: diapers and tortilla shells.
While standing in the diaper aisle debating between Pull-Ups and regular diapers, the intercom song slowly started drifting through my ears. It was unique...easily recognizable...and brought back memories of my second grade dance recital. I wanted so badly to take out my cell phone and call my cousin, Jamie, who was in dance with me that year and who I can still laugh about the song with. Alas, my cell phone is a piece of junk and as soon as it hit analog inside Meijer it died.
I stood in front of the Pull-Ups section, slightly hypnotized and wishing there was someone I could share the moment with. Oh, the memories. A neon pink crop tank top, bordered with neon green sparkles, matching neon pink and green bordered skirt layered ever-so-awesomely over bright green spandex leggings that only went mid-calf, bright green fingerless gloves and all of it topped off with the same green sparkly beaded headband that we used to wrap around our half-pulled up side ponytails.
And the song that we danced to?

I Found It!!

Have you ever experienced that nagging sensation when you hear a song that you have heard it before but can't figure out where? When Tim McGraw came out with "When the Stars Go Blue" I knew I had heard it before and it wasn't actually his song. For over a year I have searched my brain for it and come up with nothing.
Tonight I finally googled it. Brilliant. Why didn't I think of that a year ago?
I discovered that I knew it from Bono (from U2) singing it with The Corrs. Whew. There is one more thing I can cross off my list. I also discovered that about 5 other people have remade the song since the original in 2001. It is a good song. If I could sing, I would remake it.
I love music. Tim and I have such an eclectic mix of CDs as well as music on our iPod. I have tried to convince him to like older rock music, like The Doors or Led Zeppelin. He tolerates it but wouldn't voluntarily listen to it. He also is not a fan of The Beatles...that drives me nuts. Who DOESN'T appreciate The Beatles???
One of my favorite albums from last year (well, I bought it last year - I think it came out in 2006) was Bebo Norman's "Beneath the Dreaming and the Coming True." It is such an incredible CD. Lyrics are great, music is fantastic...Tim was not thrilled when I chose to use a gift card on it because there were other CDs he would have chosen first. He will admit now that it is his favorite Bebo CD.
My other favorite from last year (again - I believe it came out in 2006, but Tim gave it to me for Valentine's Day in 2007) was Corinne Bailey Rae. Wow, can she sing. Noah likes to listen to that one as well.
Actually, there are all sorts of good songs and artists I like. I love how, no matter what mood you are in, there is music to go along with it. It's kind of like you can easily find a soundtrack for your life. Mad? Try hard rock. Maybe a little Linkin Park (in high school I liked listening to Korn while angry.) Feeling nostalgic? Break out the music from your childhood. I, personally, love to flashback to the 80s and 90s...maybe a little New Kids on the Block or early Madonna. "Oh oh oh oh oh. Oh oh oh oh. Oh oh oh oh oh. The right stuff." Are you calm, peaceful and content? Throw on the classical. My favorite piece is "Claire de lune." Maybe you want to dance around the house while cleaning? That is when I break out the Justin Timberlake CD and start bringing sexy back to cleaning (or so I think.) Frustrated in life? Break out some worship music and remember God's promises. I have a worship playlist on the iPod with a mix of songs I sought through to find specific ones that have meaning to me or lyrics that have spoken to me in the past.
Music for the mood. What kind of music do you enjoy?

I'm COLD!

We went down to Grand Haven's main street (Washington) this morning to view the "Ice Fest" and find out what it's all about. Basically, it's some small ice sculptures in front of the stores and you can watch the ice sculptor at work. After only being out there for about 20 minutes we came back home with red cheeks and noses. Now, 20 minutes after arriving home, my cheeks are still fairly numb but my ears have reached the tingly thawing out feeling. It's a beautiful morning though - thanks to the awesome sunshine I have felt so deprived of recently. Talk about Vitamin D deficiency...and I can't even "fake bake" to make up for it. So I just turn on a hot shower and pretend I'm in the tropics.
Speaking of tropics, my parents are leaving next week for a 7 day cruise in the Caribbean. I'm so happy for them (although slightly jealous that they will get to experience a week of sunshine, warm weather, and yummy food.) It has always been my dad's dream vacation, and since he turned the Big 50 last month, they saved up to be able to celebrate in a big way. My mom turns 50 in another three years and they will celebrate that by going on an Alaskan cruise, which is her dream vacation. My mom for a few months was quite nervous about the upcoming cruise and the possibilities of running into an iceberg. I told her the chances of that happening in the Caribbean have to be pretty slim to none. When I talked to her this morning she sounded pretty excited about the trip so I'm glad she is conquering her fears.
We had an uneventful Valentine's Day. Both of us kept forgetting about it completely and by the time dinner came around (spaghetti) I had put a candle in the middle of the table and we used cloth napkins to at least make it seem as if we tried. We have had many romantic Valentine's Days and we didn't feel bad for taking this year off. It was kind of nice, actually, not worrying about what to get each other or trying to find time to get a card or stressing about finding a baby-sitter, etc. As we cheesily told each other later "Every day is Valentine's Day with you." Don't worry, we don't really speak to each other like this seriously.
I'm convinced Noah is going to be a worship leader or Christian artist someday. He picks up on songs so quickly and can sing right along with them...although not every word might be understandable. He can carry the tune almost perfectly - much better than me, his non-musical mother. =) I love music...I just wasn't blessed with the gift of singing voice.
Eleanor seems to be doing well. She's quite active and I have the unfortunate habit of waking up at 4:00 in the morning at least 3 times a week and not being able to fall back asleep. This makes for a very long day. I just finished my 30th week and when I look at how busy our March is I know the time is going to fly until she arrives! I am still reading lots of books about natural childbirth and am feeling so wonderfully confident about it. It helps that my friend, Kelly, is also trying it this time around so we can bounce our thoughts and resources off each other. Tim is very encouraging and told me the other night that he is positive I'll be able to do it. It helps to have a supportive husband. I just tend to shut out the negative comments from people and focus on the positive support I have received from others who have done it.
My faith continues to be stretched and grow. I think the hardest thing of the past few months' struggles was stepping away from the "safe" faith that I grew up with and learning about so many qualities and characteristics of the Lord that were never much discussed. This has been difficult for me because for the past 27 years I have walked the same path of beliefs, being lukewarm in my faith. Not to say I don't strongly believe...but I've never really been challenged. Now I am studying and reading and loving the God who I am coming to know more and more as Father rather than just that guy up in Heaven watching over everything. I am trusting Him more readily and giving up the control I thought I had in my life. Difficult? Absolutely. Rewarding? Most definitely.

Gung Hay Fat Choy!

Yesterday we went to Matt & Jeana's to celebrate Chinese New Year. What fun times. It will be so much more exciting next year when we celebrate because then their daughter will be here with us! (They are adopting from China and this should be the year the referral comes.) For now, it was our family and Jeana's parents, grandparents, brother and his family. I was completely exhausted by the end of the day but it was completely worth it. Noah had so much fun he decided to not take a nap (not fun for me) but was the life of the party. Jeana's brother has 2 very well behaved daughters, who are 8 and 4 years old, so an active 2 year old boy running around was quite the change for her family to observe. We're glad we could provide the live entertainment. =)
The table was nicely set. Everyone had chopsticks (mine were stolen by a certain toddler and used to stab at his food.) The kids received fun little "take-out" boxes that had cookies, a tiny plastic saki cup, a red Chinese envelope (containing $1 - I wish we had more traditions like this!), a paper-accordion Chinese dragon (you can see Sydney in the picture pulling her's apart), and Noah's contained a dinosaur (he was thrilled.)This is part of the reason I think naptime may have been skipped and pure silliness taken over: a blue sugary drink from the Asian food market. He loved it...obviously.Tim (in festive decor) and me (looking very tired and pregnant) towards the end of the evening. Red shirts were as Chinese as we could get for costume - the hat is Matt's.Noah "playing" the Wii with Jeana's dad. He thought he was so good at the golf games.

And on other very exciting new year news: Tim landed a part-time job on Friday! He was offered the position on the spot and accepted. The guy was extremely impressed with his presentation (which most likely he was the only one who actually had one for a part-time painting job.) It's great because they're going to work around each other's schedules so that Tim can still do his own small business and continue to grow that. I am so glad because three and a half months with a total of 4 weeks of work can come to an end. We are so thankful to everyone who has been an encouragement and support to us during this challenging time. We have learned many valuable lessons that will be applied from this point on (such as getting our "3-6 months emergency fund" together as quickly as possible, God really does provide in ways you don't see coming, and it is better to stay strong and faithful than waiver in your trust - I learned that the hard way.) The past week has been the crescendo of emotional and spiritual stress for me. I thought things couldn't get any worse...they did. Then that very same day, after - as silly as it sounds - I actually shut myself in the bathroom and yelled at Satan out loud to leave me alone and that I wasn't going to let him steal my joy or have power over me anymore, God started opening doors. Our marriage has grown leaps and bounds. Our faith has been challenged and strengthened. We have ended the week feeling renewed, refreshed, and hopeful for our future. We also covered the top of the fridge in white paper and started writing Scripture verses on it to remind us of God's promises for us as well as those that instruct us on how to be.
Gung hay fat choy indeed - happy new year!

Listen up young punks and daredevil drivers...

To those of you who find it exhilirating to cut people off while driving, run red lights, and make turns when you're not supposed to...you need to stop.
When you are waiting to turn left at a red light and it turns green, it is your responsiblity to WAIT for those coming from the opposite direction (who legally have the right-of-way) to go through the light first and then make sure it is clear before you turn. This means that if it is 2 lanes, one going straight through the light and one turning right...you DON'T go. You don't speed through, cut them off and then laugh hysterically.
Maybe you do this because you think it's cool. Maybe you do it to feel a rush of adrenaline. If you want a rush, go drink a Mountain Dew or something from Starbucks. Don't put the lives of others at risk. Because it's not cool.
Let me give you the perspective of someone in the opposite car. While you're laughing at your daredevil antic, I am wearing my brakes thin by trying to stop suddenly and wearing my nerves thin by preparing myself for an accident. I am in the car with my two and a half year old son on the driver side of the van, whom you would hit if you were turning left and didn't time things the way you had hoped. I am 7 months pregnant with a much bigger than usually belly and fearing for my unborn child's life if I was to hit the steering wheel. Do you want that guilt on your shoulders if you hurt someone in my vehicle because you were trying to make your friends laugh or scream in delight/fear?
If you think you're old enough to drive a car then start being mature too while you're at it.
Start using that brain in your head and stop putting the rest of our lives (as well as your own) at risk.

If You're Looking For...

We have many friends in the West Michigan area that have their own small businesses and are very talented in what they do. I thought I would stick their names and websites on here in case anyone is looking for something they can offer.
PAINTING & HOME RESTORATION
Naturally, I'm going to put my husband's small business first. He does painting, handyman work, flooring, trimwork, custom designs, design consultations (for those who just aren't quite sure what color or finish to go with), etc. He is passionate about what he does, loves going to work, has been blessed with a talent I don't have, and we would of course welcome your support and business. He does free estimates and gives a 3% referral commision (from labor costs) to any jobs you help bring his way. You can check out his blog at:
http://www.rossrestorations.blogspot.com/.
PHOTOGRAPHY
We know so many photographers and I hate that in reality...they're all competition for each other. However, they all kind of have their own areas of expertise so I will include what I think they're best at in case you're looking for something specific.
My friend, Christina, enjoys taking pictures of kids, pregnant women, and has done families as well. You can check out her blog at: http://www.gracedesignsphotography.blogspot.com/ or click on the link to the right under the blogs I read.
Our friend, Jeana, does not have a website. She has assisted in weddings, taken kids pictures (including Noah's), senior pictures, and is great at capturing nature. She does it more "on the side" of the job she already has, so her prices vary depending on what you're looking for. She is in Muskegon and you can comment if you want information on how to get a hold of her. At the moment, all money she earns from her photography is going straight to their adoption fund.
Coastline Studios, owned by our friend, John, does photography and videography. He has done weddings, family portraits, and commercial work (a lot for Cornerstone University.) His website is: http://www.coastline-studios.com/.
Noah's "One Year" pictures were captured by Lisa, who owns Elite Photo Design. She mainly does weddings, bellies, babies & kids. You can see her work at http://www.elitephotodesign.com/.
Quite a few posts down I posted some photos from Cornerstone's Alumni weekend that were taken by Mindy. Her website is http://www.thisphotostory.com/.
INTERIOR DESIGN
The wife of John, who I mentioned earlier owns Coastline Studios, is Amy. She is an interior designer and her website can be viewed at http://www.refreshdesign.net/.
Margaux is an interior designer that Tim has started working with in East Grand Rapids. You can view some examples of her work at http://www.mdrake.com/
CUSTOM METAL WORK
Our friend, and Tim's business partner, Tim has a passion for custom metal design. He has really taken off, thanks to the website Etsy, and even sold a guitar shaped table to Barney's of New York that is now displayed in their brand new location in Las Vegas. You can find more information on him and his work at http://www.timothyadamdesigns.blogspot.com/.
CHURCH
If you're looking for a church where the focus is more on relationships than religion - relationship with God first as well as others - and is someplace that is casual and come as you are, then check out The Journey Community Church in Muskegon. You can find service times and more information at http://www.thejourneycc.com/. This is where Tim and I attend and we absolutely love it and are passionate about their vision and what they're doing in West Michigan.

So if you're looking to support any local artists or small business owners and have a need for any of the above services, make sure to check out some of the above mentioned. Of course, I know there are tons of others in the area (hello, Grand Rapids is a pretty big place!) but naturally I am biased in supporting the people we know! We have had experience with everyone mentioned and that is how I am able to recommend them after being pleased with the work I have seen.