I feel like I haven't taken much time this week to reflect on the fact it's Holy Week. Usually the kids and I are reading in The Jesus Storybook Bible about the events leading up to the crucifixion and Resurrection. I don't know if it's because we've been so busy or what, but our readings have not been happening this time around. Last night, I went to look for that Bible and don't even know where it has ended up! I grabbed Noah's Bible instead and we ended up reading and discussing Maundy Thursday and what we take special time to remember over the next few days.
It is weeks like this one that make me so thankful for forgiveness, for grace, for mercy. At times when I feel I just need a break and time away, I've been reminded that Jesus did not run from the cross. He died for everyone. Whether people choose to accept His Way as the only way, or not, He died to give them the opportunity to spend an eternity in Heaven. I believe He longs for us all to be with Him...but only through belief and acceptance of Him. No other way, no other god, no other belief can get one to Heaven.
John 14:6 "Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.'"
We are living in a time where people, including some pastors, are starting to blur the lines of who can get into Heaven and how. Basically, you can believe what you want and make it in because who am I to tell you you're wrong? That would be offensive. And we are to love people. Loving people means not stepping on toes, right?
Matthew 7:14 "For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few."
I think it would be like a slap in the face, another beating from a whip, another thorn pressed into the head of a Savior who died - DIED - took our place, so that we may spend eternity with Him. He tore the veil.
He extended forgiveness. I know I sin more than I wish I did. Still he forgives me when I seek it earnestly.
Grace. He is giving us a gift that we do not deserve.
Mercy. He wants to save us from an eternity we do deserve so that we can be with Him.
He became a sacrificial lamb and shame on me if I throw what He did out the window and say it doesn't matter in the end because I'll just get to Heaven the way I want to.
Lord, forgive me when I am prideful and think I can control my own life. Thank you, THANK YOU, for this Friday...this day you took my place and showed me a love like no one else can. You are holy. You are pure. You love me and I will forever be grateful.
We had the opportunity to visit the maple syrup farm of some family friends in Charlevoix. Thankfully, our timing turned out perfectly, as there had been an unexpected warm day earlier in the week to cause the sap to run. They were making syrup on the Saturday we visited. If you'd like to purchase some delicious syrup, check out www.curreyfarms.com and order some! Maybe you'll even get a batch that we got to watch the process on. :)
Heading out to the sugar shack
Just a couple of the thousands of trees that they tap
Who wouldn't want to live with a view like this??
The sugar shack
Grandpa and Zeke
Art checks the temperature of the sap/syrup
Checking against other samples to figure out what grade it is
Noah eyes the samples, waiting patiently
Bottling syrup
THANK YOU to Art and Jan Currey for allowing us to visit your maple syrup farm and providing us with a great day!
These delicious peanut butter/oatmeal/chocolate chip cookies, containing no flour or butter, came out of my oven this morning. I have already eaten two. Yikes. They're not very sweet, so if you're looking to curb a major sweet tooth craving, they may not be up your alley. I thought they were really good, though, considering they contain no flour and I find it hard to find good cookie recipes that are gluten free. And, yes, I know that if you want a truly gluten free recipe...make sure your oats are also gluten free.
"see, I was born the second child
with a spirit running wild, running free
and they saw trouble in my eyes
they were quick to recognize the devil in me
see, I was born a restless child
and I could hear the world outside calling me
and heaven knows how hard I tried
but the devil whispered lies I believed
can you hear it hanging on the wind?
can you feel it underneath your skin?
you've got to go on, further than you've ever gone
you've got to run far from all you've ever known" -'Second Child, Restless Child' by The Oh Hello's
Every time this song plays from our iPod, I can't help but think of Ellie. The first time I heard it I wondered if someone had been watching through our windows and written a song about her.
Ellie and I came to a moment yesterday that has been long in coming. She has been so antsy lately, fidgety, quarrelsome, deliberately disobeying and intentionally doing wrong. I spent quite awhile earlier this week researching strong-willed children, birth order, etc. I have been calm with her, although at times I have found myself in a yelling match. With a just-shy-of-5-years-old daughter. Not the greatest mom moment I've had. She just knows how to kick me when I'm down.
So yesterday we returned home from picking Caleb up from speech therapy when I found myself weary, hungry since I still had to eat my own lunch, and ready to put the younger boys down for their naps and get a break myself. Ellie had already started in on everyone before we were even out of the van and I could tell she was tired. I told her I wanted her to try to nap as well. This led to tears, yelling, and a dramatic tantrum that would put celebrity divas to shame. I followed her upstairs to the bedroom she had stomped off to, ready (but calm, surprisingly!) to discipline her. After the disciplinary moment, as I was holding her, she started to struggle against me. Her eyes flashed and she started saying,
"You hate me!"
"What?"
"You HATE me!"
"Eleanor, that is a lie. I will not have you believe it." As I started praying aloud in the name of Jesus (oh, yes, I did) that her mind would stop hearing the lies of evil and that her heart would stop believing it, she broke down and cried but there was more to come.
"You want me to be just like Noah."
Good grief, she can't read yet but it's as if she could read these emotions I myself had been struggling with this week as I worked to realize that I can't compare her to Noah. I have to appreciate her personality and temperament and spirit and learn to nurture it.
I grabbed her and held her close again. "Eleanor, look in my eyes. I. Am. Sorry. I am SO sorry that I have made you feel you need to be like Noah. You are nothing like Noah. Nothing! And that is ok. It's good! God made you and Noah and Caleb and Ezekiel all different from each other." We went on to talk about why God makes people different and point out differences that we can see between her and Noah. I explained that Noah's personality is one that likes rules and instructions and building things. I told her that he is creative in a way that helps him to build really cool things.
Then we talked about her. I explained that whereas Noah likes things to be neat and in order, she is what's considered a "free spirit." I praised her creativity in an outward sense. Whereas Noah likes to color in the lines, she likes to see a rainbow where there might not be one. She dances around as if her heart is full of a song only she can hear. She is a little mommy, sensitive and wanting to help care for others. She is full of laughter and life. It sounds cheesy, but the world really is her canvas and she is painting away using the whole palette of colors, mixing them together to form new ones in the process.
We finished by reading Kevin Leman's book, "Middle Child, There's No One Like You." I would highly recommend that series of books. Not everything in there is completely accurate since you have to take into account temperament styles, but there really is something to birth order.
In the lyrics above, the last line says, "You've got to run far from all you've ever known." My prayer for her right now is that she runs far from what she's known so far, all she's ever known. If Tim and I have made her feel she needs to be just like Noah, I hope she runs far from that belief. I hope she runs far from the rebellious streak that has already been so prominent in her. That she'll buck the "middle child syndrome" and realize that she can be a free spirit and still be obedient to the Lord. And I hope I can run far from the things I have done to make her feel she is inadequate as she is and help her to see that she is loved more than she can imagine for exactly who she is.
I'm going to start writing again. Blogging, at least. Regularly. I'm committed. I have it figured out in my head. One of my obstacles is time. How do I find time to sit and write? It's not that I don't have a million things floating around in my head waiting to come out. Thankfully, and I'm admitting this, I'm going to take advantage of the automatic settings where you can publish certain posts on certain days. I'm also giving myself topics for days so it doesn't feel so overwhelming and will be easier to be motivated. So here's a possible schedule I think I'm going to go with - don't laugh because I'm using corny daily titles. It makes it easier on my brain. :)
Scripture Sundays
Monday Mumblings
Tasty Tuesdays
Wednesday Words
Thoughtful Thursdays
Fun Friday, or maybe Photo Friday
Silly Saturday
I'm not going to post those as titles, it just gives me a routine and you can have an idea of what to expect. So for today's words...I give you the Ernest Hemingway quote above. Get ready for me to bleed again.
I always say I want to get back into blogging and then the days go so quickly that it doesn't seem to happen very easily. Here is another moment where I don't have much time, so I'll give a quick update to at least have a somewhat active blog. :)
*Homeschool - is going well. I take pictures and put them on Instagram of the really good days so I can look at them on the not-so-great days to remind me that we do have fun along the way. I am looking forward to some curriculum changes for next year, as well as some other things to become a part of. We have a few families we're friends with who will be starting the homeschool journey next year, and while not all of them are geographically close, we're looking forward to the sense of community and encouragement we can still find with each other.
*Tim's work - we are being so blessed. Tim's job is one big constant leap of faith. Self-employment just seems to be that way, right? We are oftentimes looking at each other and saying, "We don't know where the money's going to come from for next month's bills, but we're just going to trust that God will provide because He always has in the past and we know He always will." And He does! It doesn't mean that it's not at the very last minute quite often, and we learn from mistakes along the way, but our needs are provided. There are many stories I can share about the amazing ways we've seen the Lord working in Tim's job and it's because we just keep stepping out in faith and trusting Him, rather than trying to control the situations ourselves.
*My January goals - I completed all of them! Then I set goals for February and completed them. So far I'm on track with my March goals as well. Or should I say "goal" since I only set one for this month. Since the beginning of January, I have lost 14 pounds by exercising and eating well. I have a Pinterest board that you can see here that are exercises I use throughout the week. I don't have a gym membership, or even a treadmill at home. I've been exercising at home, before the kids wake up, and the only equipment I have are 3 lb weights and 5 lb weights. Give it a try! Most mornings I only spend about 20-30 minutes at the most. I also have enjoyed the workouts you can find on the Class FitSugar site. I like that the workouts are 10 minutes long, so I can do as many or little as I have time for. Tim gets up and works out with me, which helps, and my friend, Jen, keeps me accountable by asking consistently and I try to do the same for her. It helps knowing you have a friend in another town dragging herself out of bed in the morning as well.
*My walk with the Lord has been really growing over the past few months. I have never felt such a peace in life, and I know it can only come from the time I am spending with Him.
*We have been eating healthier in our home. I have found that my body reacts to gluten. I have not been tested for Celiac and am hoping that this is something that my body will heal itself of. For now, though, there is no gluten in my diet. We do not keep white sugar in the house. Sugary sweets are not really around much anymore. We're eating a lot of fruit, dried fruit, nuts, and veggies. We're buying organic meat, but do not expect our lifestyle to be 100% that way because we know we will eat meals with people who do not buy organic and that is just fine with us. We just want to make sure that in our home we're eating well so that when we are out and about, it's fine. We're not freaking out on people about their food choices or anything. I have tried in the past to get Tim to make different food choices and he was always resistant. After he did that 2 week detox with me in January, he came out with a new perspective on things. We've been watching quite a few food documentaries as well, like "Food, Inc.", "Vegucated," "Forks Over Knives," and "King Corn." I think we've hit a new point in our life where we prefer documentaries over entertainment movies! I think we're old!
Well, that's about it for here for now. There is always some kind of excitement going on in our home with all these kids - right now Noah and Ellie are in gymnastics classes and loving it, Caleb has an obsession with pirates, and Zeke is procrastinating walking - but we're pretty content at home lately. I'm ok with some quiet in our life!
