Mom,
I remember the first time, after Noah was born, when I called you and thanked you for everything you did as a mom. It wasn't until I became one that I really realized what being a stay-at-home mom meant.
When Noah became a toddler, I discovered how many meals you either had to re-heat or eat cold. I found out how you can collapse on a couch in the evening and feel exhausted while also wondering if you managed to accomplish anything during the day. Thank you for your sacrifices, Mom.
When Eleanor has her sassy moments and she is willfully disobedient and drives me insane, I am amazed that you were able to raise two daughters. I remember the way Stephanie and I used to fight. Thank you for not strangling us, Mom.
When Caleb struggles with his speech and I take the extra time to help him hear the word, form his mouth, and try again, I think of the times you made flash cards to help us learn. You read countless library books to us. Thank you for being a teacher, Mom.
When Ezekiel is supposed to be burping but instead curls up against me and nestles his face into my neck as he falls asleep, I am reminded that my original life plans didn't have a fourth child in them and I am so very, very thankful that God changed my plans. I know, Mom, there are days you regret not going to college. Thank you for encouraging me to go, to leave home when I graduated, to experience life a bit before settling down with a family.
I hope you can see, Mom, how your decisions have had a lasting impact, are always leaving a legacy.
I know that, in the last couple years, especially, you have struggled with feeling like a failure and a bad mom. You're not. I never thought you were. Thank you, also, for welcoming Tim into our family, for loving him as a son, for encouraging him in and giving him verbal affirmation with his talents and abilities. He loves you as well.
And just as I hope my kids do this for me one day, I forgive you, Mom. For all the times I may not remember, that you may carry guilt over, I forgive you. I know there are days when I think, I hope my kids don't remember all the times I failed today and this moment I've lost my patience, lost my mind. I hope they forgive me for days like these. I forgive you for passing on a spirit of worry and anxiety that your mom passed on to you. I forgive you for decisions you made that had effects on our family. I know you're not perfect. Thankfully, you know that more important than my forgiveness, is God's.
Thank you, most of all, for passing on that most important fact in life. Thank you for teaching me about God's love, forgiveness, and saving grace. As I have become an adult and grown older, I appreciate and enjoy watching you grow in your faith and encourage me in mine. Thank you for teaching me that it is a journey and we always have room to grow and learn.
You are a blessing, Mom. You are blessed. You bless others.
I love you.
Andrea
