2007...2008...

It is New Year's Eve! A whole year gone already - and it feels like it went so quick, although when I look back it seems so full. Here are some of the bigger moments from our year:

*We took trips to Tennessee (twice) and Washington, D.C. to visit family members. We went to Ohio numerous times, as usual.

*We also took a trip to Lafayette, IN to visit our friends, the Baker family. We went to a fun little park and zoo while there.

*Noah and I were in a car accident that totalled the Camry. It was not our fault and the car turned out to be more worth more than we thought, so we were able to buy a used mini-van with cash. We should be able to get a couple years out of it before having to think about a new vehicle.

*Tim interviewed for and was offered a dream job in Ann Arbor. After much prayer, conversation, and research he decided it wouldn't be wise to accept. He really feels that God has him here in West Michigan for a reason and we will stay to see what that is.

*Our summer vacation was with the Lewis family to Ohio. We stayed at my in-laws while they were away in California. We took a trip to the Cleveland Zoo, which is very bigger than we thought and pretty cool.



*We moved from a small 2 bedroom apartment in Muskegon to a smaller 2 bedroom duplex in Grand Haven. It is nice to not be in an apartment, though it definitely feels more cramped. The difference in rent is nice as well since it is $200 cheaper and there is a yard for Noah to safely play outside in.

*After moving we celebrated Noah's 2nd birthday.

*After Noah's birthday, we celebrated a positive pregnancy test!*Tim started playing the djembe in church and also now sings occasionally. I volunteer as a girls small group leader with the high school youth group. I was also in the nursery once a month, but that is not something I want to continue doing.

*Tim and I celebrated his birthday with a visit to Mill Run, PA and a tour of Frank Lloyd Wright's Fallingwater. He is already dreaming of the next house for us to tour but I told him with a baby coming, that won't be for awhile.*We experienced two times this year, one in the spring and one in the winter, where Tim went multiple weeks with no work and no paycheck. The first time we had a savings account to fall back on but we used it all up during that time so when fall rolled around we experienced much stress. God, of course, was faithful both times in carrying us through.

Last night Tim and I were reading an article on the speculations that there will be a recession in 2008. I thought it was funny because when I think about the upcoming year, I think it will be a time of growth. I think that because of the lessons we did learn this past year, Tim's business will grow and we will be better prepared for how to handle our budget. Our family will see all sorts of growth. Tim and I are growing in our own personal faith walks and we are growing closer as a couple. Eleanor will join our family in April, leading to growth as a family. Many people we know are expecting babies, leading to growth in our different communities.

So recession shmecession. I'm making 2008 a year of growth and prosperity.

What A Christmas!

This Christmas season has been all-around weird for us. We didn't get a tree, which actually was kind of nice because there were no needles or watering to be concerned with (and, yes, I know that if we would convert to a fake tree we wouldn't have those problems anyways...but the conversion will not be happening in this household.) I remembered the night before we left that we were supposed to be celebrating Christmas between the 3 of us. When I went to wrap Noah's gifts I couldn't find my wrapping paper or tape! Tim searched high and low in the scary storage area (at least he said he did) and came up with nothing. I am confused about my tape because I just had it a couple weeks ago. Oh, well. I ended up wrapping Noah's gifts in newspaper and stapled it all together. It sounds pathetic but quite honestly, he didn't even care. Just ripped the paper off to see what it covered. We didn't read as many of our Christmas books this year, the house didn't seem as decorated, and we started off playing lots of Christmas music and then just became lazy about it. I was also mildly disappointed that we didn't sing more Christmas songs at church throughout the month, especially when the ones they did sing were just the opener songs and no one really participates in those because you don't know if you should or not.Noah's present from us this year was a camping tent. He loved it and couldn't wait to bring his stuffed animals inside as well.
So I wasn't sure how Christmas would even feel this year when it came to celebrating with family. It turned out to be great! We left on a Friday evening, and after a quick stop to meet Samuel Brewer, the newest addition to our friends', Chris and Rachel's, family, we were off to Fowlerville. We celebrated with my family on Saturday and Noah received more gifts than we have room for! He and Tim are playing with his new GeoTrax train set right now. He loves it. We had a fun time visiting with my parents and sister and her family. Since we were tight on finances this year, I had to get creative with Christmas presents. Tim and I had a small amount we set to buy stocking stuffers for each other so we would have something to exchange. Just about everything else I made or enlisted the help of friends (i.e. my friend Jeana is going to take family photos for my parents and my sister's family. Christina is going to do a family photo during Labor Day for the Ross side.) I found some fun fabric I had bought a while ago and made Kailyn a doll blanket for her cradle (she has a doll cradle that was my sister's when she was young, but this Christmas she was finally receiving her first doll.) I also made her a little pillow to go along with it that I forgot to take a picture of, and an art smock with a fun little pocket on the front that was from the book "Bend the Rules Sewing," which I highly recommend.

These shoes were also made out of fabric I had in my stash and were given to Sam. Rachel, being a crafter as well, recognized the pattern (we frequent many of the same craft blogs) and it makes it all the more fun when you can discuss the process that goes into it. I could become addicted to making these shoes...which could be a good thing since we know lots of people having babies!

Noah received his first bike from Grandpa and Grandma. Since the ground is covered in snow here, he has been riding it around the kitchen and living room on what little hardwood he can find.

After waking early and having breakfast on Sunday, we were off for Tennessee! There is not much to tell about our travel except that Noah handled 12 hours in the van better than I did. By the time we got to Knoxville and I realized it would be close to another 2 hours (not the 1 hour Tim claimed it was) I started losing it, thrashing and tearing at my seatbelt and screaming out the open window like a banshee. Well, maybe it wasn't that dramatic but I was close to tears.

The week was great. Noah had 4 full days of interacting with his 5 other cousins ranging in age from 1 month to 7 years. Tim and I learned how to play a couple new games (Charoodles and something else that is part Pictionary, part something else and I cannot remember the name of it for the life of me now.) We had a great time visiting with family and playing with our niece and nephews and enjoyed some yummy food as well - the Ross family knows how to pull off a heck of a buffet spread that we snack on from morning until evening: cheese and crackers, shrimp and cocktail sauce, desserts, nuts, etc. Delicious!

This is the best I could get for the "cousins pictures" - and the newest addition, Ross, is not even in it! In the back are Cameron and Owen and the front is Alec, Noah and Wyndham.

Then Alec was missing from the next one we tried to get, although Ross made his appearance. The people in here are Owen, me, Wyndham, Joyce (my mother-in-law), Noah, Deidra, Cameron, Kristen and Ross (oh, and Ross' last name is not Ross since it is Tim's sister so don't be confused.)

My birthday is the day after Christmas and every year I am excited for it and in recent years I have felt depressed when it comes to the actual day. I think that even as I get older I expect it to hold all the excitement that it does when you're turning 10. Then I realize that it doesn't. Something changes when you become an adult - especially when you don't celebrate it with just your family anymore so you lose traditions along the way. I know it sounds very selfish of me; I had a recent conversation with a girlfriend whose birthday is on the 23rd and she was telling me about how let down she feels on her birthday. I was able to completely relate and was glad to not be alone in how I felt. I guess we Christmas babies tend to wallow in our self-pity when we're lost in the bustle of Christmas. Honestly, though, I got some great presents. My nephew, Cameron, made me a bracelet and my mother-in-law bought me two Karen Kingsbury books. Unfortunately, I had read both of them but said I wouldn't mind having them to keep since I had just borrowed the ones I read from the library. She decided to keep them for herself and give me money to buy some I have not read, which was a sweet thought. Tim bought me the new Sara Groves CD, "Tell Me What You Know," a Karen Kingsbury book that I absorbed myself in and finished in two days ("Between Sundays"), and a 40-day devotional book by Beth Moore called "Get Out of That Pit" which I have heard great things about the book that she wrote of the same title. I thought that gift was ironic since I felt in a pit on my birthday. I am actually quite excited to start it because in this pregnancy I have felt some sort of mild...depression, maybe?...that could be due to life events or who knows?

Something fun we were able to do on my birthday was visit Doe River Gorge, a Christian camp that our brother-in-law, David, works at and that all our family loves and supports. Tim was a counselor there while we were in college and we always make sure to visit to see what is new whenever we are down there. This day's visit started with a stop to say "hello" to the horses.

I was able to have some great conversations with my sister-in-law, Kristen, regarding parenting more than one child. I actually broke down to her one night and confessed I was scared to death to have another child and sometimes feel like I don't know what I was thinking in wanting to have another when sometimes I wonder how I'm going to make it through the day with just one. I told her that I have of course heard of post-partum depression, but is it possible to have prenatal depression? She assured me that everything I was feeling was normal and shared her personal experiences and wisdom, as well as the fact that the "terrible twos" don't last forever. I wish we didn't live 14 hours apart because sometimes I just need a dose of her and one of her hugs.

All in all, it was a fabulous Christmas - although it is good to be back in my own bed.

Yea for Sleep!

We got the best night of sleep last night than we have in the past 2 or so weeks. We figured out that Noah is waking up at night because he is falling out of his bed. We purchased one of those safety railing things for the side of his bed and - woohoo! - he slept soundly all night. We even had an easy time putting him to bed.
Praise God!

Friends

I was thinking today of the friends Tim and I have. We have been blessed beyond belief with an amazing support system. Although many have moved, or we have moved away from many, we still manage to keep in touch with a good amount of old friends from college. I was realizing how proud I am of so many of them and the big things they are accomplishing.
I though of our friend Jack and how he will be finishing his course work for his doctorate at Purdue soon and beginning work on his dissertation. He will not only one day be to us Professor Baker, but Dr. Baker. He would like to teach at the college level.
An old roommate of mine will become Dr. Ennis by the end of the summer. Laura is studying physical therapy at Grand Valley. She is so talented - athletically, intellectually and she is all around a great friend.
We have so many friends who have started their own small businesses or side businesses. Tim Adam has shocked us with the sales of his custom metal designs - not because we don't think they're good but just with how quickly things have taken off for him and how many sales he has had! I told him about the Etsy website back in February and his goal was to have 100 sales by the end of the year. When I looked at his site today he had sold 353 items. Then there is his wife. She is a full-time nanny and on the side has started a small photography business. She gets better with every photo shoot she does and is so eager to learn and soak up every bit of knowledge she can.
Our friend, Chris, has a full-time job and is a husband and father to 2 (well, almost. Sam should be along any day to make it "officially" two.) He also is a seminary student and has been working on developing a Worldview Resource Center at their church. He is one busy guy!
Matt and Jeana are doing what they can to raise money as quickly as possible for their adoption. Matt works full time as a youth pastor and has a side job. Jeana works at Baker College and also does some photography on the side, though she doesn't market herself. It's more doing pictures for people she knows who ask. She also assists her sister-in-law during the busy wedding season with photography (her sister-in-law has a photography business.) During this holiday season, she has been running a toffee factory in her kitchen to sell at craft shows and anyone who wants some.
Then there is my husband. He has his own small business, run mainly on word-of-mouth referrals. He just entered into a business networking group that I think will help a bit to bring business and give him people to talk to about marketing, ideas, etc. There are days when financially I am so frustrated I feel like we should just pick up and move somewhere where home restoration is actually thriving and a good business, but he feels so strongly that God has us in West Michigan for a reason and he will stay. I love his faith, his efforts, the fact he loves to get up and go to work in the morning because it is something he enjoys and is passionate about.
There are more stories I could share, but I won't. I just love thinking that our friends are amazing. They tap into the talents and abilites God has given them. Some let them out in hobbies, others as businesses. Either way, they are not squandering their gifts. I'm so proud.
There are more, but I won't get in to everyone's stories. I am just so

The ups and downs of toddlerhood

There are times as a mother that I feel I am doing a good job. My son is fed, healthy, and clean. He is polite, outgoing, and a sweetheart. At church on Sunday I was told by at least 5 people how cute he is and how calm and laid-back.

Then there are the nights. My son is a monster in disguise of a light-brown hair, adorable blue-eyed 2-year old. The easy-going child is gone. The temper-tantrum-throwing terror is in his place.

That has been the down of the past week and a half for us. Noah, since infancy, has been a wonderful sleeper. He might wake up a couple times with what we called "sleep cries" where he wasn't really awake. All we had to do was go in, lay him back down, make sure he had his pacifier and he was instantly quiet again. However, he doesn't have a pacifier anymore. He is also sleeping in the toddler bed. When he first started sleeping in the bed, he did great. He would wake up and play for a bit in the morning, or read, but he wouldn't leave his room.

That is all gone. He now wakes up every night somewhere between the hours of midnight and one in the morning. He comes into our room, tries to crawl into our bed, we walk him back into his room and then the battle of the generations begins. He usually ends up screaming for up to 2 hours before tiring himself out. Last night he woke at 1:00 and was asleep again by 1:30, but it took him until 10:00pm to fall asleep in the first place, which is rare for us to go through. He was up at 6:30 in a great mood and ready to start the day with full on energy. Tim and I were not greeting the morning with as much energy.
That has been my main struggle of the "terrible twos." There are little things, like the open defiance and deliberate choosing of the opposite of what Mom and Dad want, but those I feel I can handle. Sleepless nights...well...let's just say that come April I'll have a new baby to keep me up at night. This is my time to sleep now and I want to cherish every moment of it.
On the upside of toddlerhood, he asked me if he could use the potty last week. We put the potty chair away a couple months ago and haven't even talked to him about it so I was in shock when he brought it up.
Me: "What?! You want to use the potty?"
Noah: "Yes."
Me: "You want to use the potty?"
Noah: "I do."
Me: long pause. "Ok. Let's go."
So I dragged the potty out of the closet and he sat on it and asked for a book to look at. He looked through a couple books and then said, "All done." He hadn't actually gone, but I praised him like crazy for trying. After that it has become an every day thing for him to want to use it. Sometimes we strike it rich and he actually goes, sometimes it's just him trying. However, the very idea that he is not running in the opposite direction of it is amazing. When we saw how interested he was in this potty business we decided to help in the process by buying a package of M&Ms and keeping them in a jar on top a cabinet in the bathroom. They are his reward for using the potty. Seeing as he is not usually allowed to have cookies and candy, this has actually become a huge motivation for him.
My boy is growing up so fast. I really just have a year and a half of him being at home before he starts preschool. Fortunately, by the time Eleanor starts her "terrible two" stage, Noah will be in school so I can tackle her issues one-on-one during the day like I can for him.
In issues relating to Eleanor, everything seems to be going well so far. Now that I am over the morning sickness, I am starting to put on the "recommended" weight gain. She can be quite an active one and her movements are becoming much stronger. I think Tim will be able to feel some kicks soon. Right now when he puts his hand on my belly, she decides to become shy. I have a feeling things will seem to speed up after the holidays are done and she will be here before we know it!
Financially, things are going much better. Tim started a job this week and will finish Friday. All next week we are gone in Tennessee celebrating Christmas with Tim's family (sing it with me now, all you who know Amy Grant, "A tender Tennessee Christmas is the only Christmas for me.") When we get back he will immediately jump into a new job, followed by another, in Grand Rapids. Things are starting to get back on track! We have learned our lessons and been humbled.
Well, I'm off to work on my niece, Kailyn's, doll blanket and pillow that I am making for Christmas. I'm not working off a pattern so we'll see if it turns out how I have pictured in my head!

Sunny With a High of Blessed

After a rough evening yesterday of finding out my 16 year old cousin tried to commit suicide and, thankfully, failed, I did not know what to expect this day would bring.
Even on a day that is so sunny we had to break out our sunglasses, it still cannot match the happy news we have continued to receive throughout today. From feeling less stress financially due to a gift from a family member as well as a new painting contact Tim spoke with on the phone and hearing other people's stories of good things happening today...it is just one of those days where I look up and say, "I am so sorry God. I am sorry for doubting You. I am sorry for believing lies satan placed in my mind. I am sorry for again putting You in a quaint little box. Thank You, thank You, thank You, THANK YOU for Your amazing blessings and mysterious ways."
Tim took a leap of faith today with the painting contact after praying and weighing issues this afternoon and when he spoke with the man on the phone about his concerns, things turned out different (and better!) than we thought. Another answer to prayer!
It is funny how differently we approach things now that we have experienced the past couple months. We also tend to rely on the memories of our dry patch last spring when Tim was thisclose to accepting a job in Ann Arbor. After much prayer and an emotional breakdown (mostly on my part of course) while there looking for housing, he made the decision to turn the job down. God blessed him abundantly with jobs after that, so much so that he was turning down people because he couldn't fit them in the schedule within the time frame they wanted. By experiencing this we have learned that it is not always beneficial to jump on an offer just because it is there and times seem desperate. We want to be wise and seek God's guidance to see all around if something is going to be good for our family, our faith, our marriage, etc.
Things are starting to look up. The important part for us now is to remember the lessons we have learned in 2007 and start applying them as 2008 draws closer.

Smoking or Non?

I am conservative, tend to vote more Republican based on my moral beliefs because, yes, they are a big deal to me. I don't believe abortion should be legal, I don't believe gay marriage should be legalized - you can call me narrow-minded. That's ok. I just prefer to stand firm in my beliefs like the people who think the opposite of me do as well. I have family members who have had abortions and some who are gay as well. I don't not love them. I just don't agree with their choices. But those are not the issues on my mind today.
Why in the world are the Republicans in Michigan's Senate choosing to ignore the warnings of a U.S. surgeon general report? They have thrown a recent smoking in public places ban to the place "where many bills go to die." (See article at http://www.wzzm13.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=84874)
Why? Why? Why? Don't they know how long I have waited for something like this? To be able to go into a restaurant and sit down in a non-smoking area that is truly non-smoke filled? Do they actually think 3 feet of space and a half-wall between two sections is enough to keep the nasty, lung-killing secondhand smoke away? What heaven it would be to go into a restaurant and come out smelling like how you went in! What a glorious and brilliant idea to be able to take my pregnant, semi-asthmatic self along with my toddler to a place where they just automatically seat you in clean air!
I want to find a Republican that opposes this ban and kick him. More specifically I would like to find Republican Leader Mike Bishop and interrogate him. "Oh, hello Mike. It says here, that you think workplaces should be free to decide whether to allow smoking or not, and government shouldn't interfere with private businesses. Did you realize how hypocritical you just were? Did you want the Democrats to attack you? They will tell you that you don't think a woman should have the right to her own body in the case of an abortion but a workplace should decide whether or not to kill the rest of the public by allowing the slow killer Second-hand Smoke to fill their lungs?"
I am not real sure where to stand politically anymore. Republican, Democrat, Moderate. There are issues that I have with both the major parties. The word "moderate" always makes me laugh. Before an election I tend to browse all information on candidates that I can get my hands on so I can make a decision that I feel good about.
Some of you might not even think this ban is a big deal. I have had two grandparents die from smoking related diseases so to me it is a huge deal. I have never in my life smoked a cigarette or had a desire to. If I am not putting this crap in myself, why would I want someone else to do it for me?
Ban the secondhand!
(Sorry, Journey pastors, I really have been listening to the "Words" series. Some of the things said in this post are not kind, like kicking certain Republicans. It is something I'm passionate about, so it is true and kind of necessary.)

A Great Big Thank You

We just want to take the time to say "thank you" to our friends who have been a large support to us in this stressed out financial time. Whether they are inviting us over for dinner or hiding money in our kitchen and then calling us later to tell us about it, we are so appreciative. You have truly shown us the meaning of community without making us feel like a charity case. We know that God is going to bring us through this time eventually and when He does we will be able to turn around and show others the same generosity and love you all have shown to us.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. There is a bid that Tim has in on a house that is being flipped and it would be incredible to get the work for it so we are praying specifically that his bid is accepted.

It's A Girl!!

Mark Your Calendar - Come On Out!

On Saturday, December 15, Jeana and I will be participating in local radio station JQ99's Craft and Care Holiday Fair. It is held at the Holland Civic Center and you can find information here: http://www.jq99.com/pages/news/fair.shtml. They do ask for a donation to help one of three charities and you can find that information on the same page.


Jeana's profits will be going to her and Matt's adoption fund. They have quite a bit of money to raise yet, but every bit brings the reality of Emma one step closer. You can read their adoption blog by clicking on the "Matt & Jeana" link to the right of this post. My profits will go toward our financial situation at the moment. I wish it could be something more fun, but that's life. =)


Here are items you can find for sale at our booth:

Toddler/Preschooler Elf Hats - Some have ties, some do not. There are 3 different designs. The flower is shown here and there is also a snowman and a star. I wish I could have a picture of the hat on a real head but seeing as Noah won't keep it on long enough for a photo (he's anti-hats) and I didn't have a camera at the last craft show to take a picture of this adorable little girl wearing one...a water bottle will have to do.

*Sorry, baby not for sale! Unless you want the toddler that he is now. Just kidding.* My knitting soulmate, Rachel, made this one for Noah before he was born, but we work off the same pattern. My mom and sister nicknamed them acorn caps. Mine are sold in brown, pink, and blue and the I-cord on the top varies in length on mine. Some knot, some are just large enough to resemble the top of an acorn cap without knotting.
Jeana has the most delicious toffee you'll ever taste for sale. She has some baby items as well that she has made. You can also find that information and pictures on a recent post on her blog. If you can't come out to support us but are interested in purchasing something you see in the pictures on her or my website, let us know! If you can make it out, we'd love for you stop by and say "Hello!" We'll be at The Red Thread table - December 15th from 9:00-2:00.

Pictures!

Here are some pictures that I just received from Cornerstone's Alumni weekend in October. It was the first weekend in October and blazing hot! Thanks so much to Mindy Peterson for sharing these with me. Check out her website at: http://www.thisphotostory.com/ to find out more information about her. She got some great shots that weekend.

Tim and Noah were pretty fascinated by the skydive simulator. We didn't plan their outfits on purpose - brown shirts, khaki shorts. You'll just have that when most boy/men clothes look the same!The Alumni soccer team. Tim can't wait for next year! Apparently, it is as hard for 19 grown men to look in the same direction as it is toddlers to...

And this is my handsome new nephew, Ross, who arrived last Friday evening. We can't wait to meet him at Christmas! Big brother Alec seems to be enchanted by him. The other 2 big brothers are also adjusting well to their newest brother. I become tired just thinking about Tim's sister and husband having 4 boys ages 7 and under! They're fantastic parents.

When God Lets You Fall on Your Bottom, But Then Brings You to Your Knees

**Disclaimer: What I am about to write is not done to seek pity or sympathy. It is done with a broken and hurting heart and a chance to be honest in life and share what God is teaching me.**
This month has been hard. We have not received a paycheck and Tim for the first time (besides helping out a friend with some small projects for gas money) started a job for a client this past Monday. Yes, we took the trip to Fallingwater - mainly because everything was already paid for. We paid for gas, and quite honestly, Tim's birthday money paid for that (he didn't feel bad about it since it allowed him to see something he has dreamed of) and the trip was not taken without much discussion, crying, arguing, and pouring over the bank statement first. We also ate lunch, dinner, and lunch the next day off dollar menus at fast food restaurants.
God has been throwing one lesson after another at us. First, it was to show us how stupid we have been with our finances. We have been so cocky walking around with our "We have no debt" mindset that we weren't putting aside extra money into savings. We were eating out quite a bit, buying things for Noah, buying the little things here and there for ourselves that don't cost much separately and then you add everything together and it's more than you think. We sat down with our October bank statement (since that was a really good month financially and job-related for Tim and we wondered where it all went) and threw every purchase into a category. It was embarassing, absolutely embarassing. Had we actually stuck to the budget we had made months ago, we could have put a large amount into our savings and had Step 1 for Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover ($1000 in Emergency Fund) completed. It would have been a huge help for us in this month...but we didn't do that. We now kick ourselves, yet we're keeping our categorized October sheet and have it where we can see it so that we don't make the same mistake again. God has taught us the importance of good stewardship - a hard lesson to learn when you think you already know it. Ouch.
The second lesson is more of a reminder, that God never leaves you and will provide for your needs. It's rarely in the way I think He should handle it (just send me some random checks in the mail and I can pay the bills. Has anyone else ever prayed for that long-lost distant relative to die of natural age after a happy life and miraculously have known about you and leaves you their inheritance? Or is that just my overactive imagination?) More often it is in a way that humbles us. For instance, our current situation is that since Tim is self-employed and we have the pleasure of living in a state with a down-spiral economy for his line of business, we can't afford good insurance like what most people have through employers. Instead, we have a Health Savings Account, which I think is great and I have no complaints about it, yet it doesn't cover maternity. It also costs much more to have a baby than what the rep had told us to expect. We were expecting to put aside at least $8,000 and that's only for a no-complications birth with no anesthesia. We had no idea how we would afford this. Enter God. We now qualify for Michigan's Healthy Kids program, which is a form of Medicaid. Our stress of finding money to pay for our son or daughter is now not in our lives anymore. I also automatically qualify for WIC since I'm on Healthy Kids, and since I qualify and Noah is under the age of 5, he automatically qualifies as well. That will be a help with the groceries that we have been scrimping on lately. Yes, we're eating. We're just eating creatively as we like to call it (don't worry, everything is edible and a food.)
I think that a huge lesson Tim and I have learned from being on Healthy Kids and WIC (we had to do this when I was pregnant with Noah because I was laid off during my pregnancy so we lost our insurance and Tim's job didn't provide it) is that you can't judge people on Medicaid, Food Stamps, or Wic. More often than not, and I use to think this myself, most people assume that those using these services are lazy or women who get knocked up constantly to get support from the government or not trying in life. I would say we break that stereotype. We're definitely not lazy, I don't want to spend anymore time after this pregnancy knocked up, and we are trying. It's embarassing to answer a question on a WIC form that says "How many grades of school have you completed?" and answer "College graduate with bachelor's degree" and yet I need help.
Help. What a word. That's another thing we've learned. Tim and I are prideful. We needed to fall on our butts. We have a hard time asking for help when it comes to finances. We don't want to. We don't want to admit that we don't have everything together. We can ask for help moving, we can ask for help with needing a baby-sitter to watch Noah, we can ask for help as long as it doesn't require money. We were hiding our problems from our parents until my mom recently started to put together the fact that Tim was always home during the day when she would call and when I told her we hadn't started Christmas shopping yet. You don't want to admit that you're in your mid to late twenties with a child and another on the way and you don't know how you're going to pay for gas or groceries that week. She told me that if in two weeks we don't have money for Noah's Christmas gifts, than she is giving us money for them rather than supporting the angel tree family she usually does. She said that she knows the angel tree family and, although they do never seem to have money at Christmas, she has seen them buying cigarettes and alcohol throughout the rest of the year. Now there's something that will humble you: when your own mother pretty much "adopts" you as her needy family for Christmas.
That's when you realize you have become the person you stereotyped and your judgment about them was wrong. I'm not saying that nobody ever takes advantage of "the system," but we jump to conclusions too often without knowing the circumstances. You don't want to be the name on the tree that someone picks off, you don't want to be the woman with the toddler in line at the WIC office, you don't want to show your MIHealth card when you visit the doctor. Yet this is where God has us right now. This is the way He is providing right now...and He is providing.
I love the support system God has revealed. A girlfriend of mine and her husband have been in a similar situation so I feel I can be completely honest with her and she gets me. She knows. My mom told me that for a time early in their marriage they were in the same spot and eating a lot of ramen noodles and macaroni and cheese. We were having a great conversation with Tim's parents while visiting and Tim asked what their roughest time financially ever was. They said there was a time period in which they were eating lots of oatmeal and praying that there would somehow be enough money to pay bills. A counselor friend of mine said that her mom recently revealed to her that when my friend was young, they would hold garage sales just to have money to buy groceries that week. Her mom also started sewing their own clothes. My grandma told my mom that the reason she worries so much about us is that she and my grandpa were in the same spot years ago before my mom was born. Sometimes my grandpa was only making $1 a week and they had 2 kids at the time. What I love is looking at where these people are at now. I love the strength they all show, the careful way they handle their finances because they know that at any point something could happen. I love that they truly can empathize with you because they have experienced it as well.
God is not providing with money I can hold in my hand at the moment, but he is preventing certain bills from reaching our mailbox. He is providing relief when it comes to groceries. He is providing open lines of communication between Tim and me because we have to constantly discuss these things to make sure we are always on the same page. He is drawing us closer to each other and closer to Him. Tim said the other night, "This is an adventure, not one we pictured, but I still want to travel it with you. At the end of it, I want us to stand together to see how God brings us out so we can look back and praise Him for it as well as during it."
In conclusion, I think that God lets you fall on your bottom when you have some lessons to learn. Yet He doesn't leave you there. If you're at the bottom, the only good view is up and the only place to go is up. First we have to get on our knees and spend some time there. Then He will take our hands and help us climb.

Home for Awhile...

What a crazy past couple weeks! We have been gone more than home and it has been exhausting. As of now we have no travel plans until the weekend before Christmas, so I have a good month to just be in one house.
Tim and I went to Mill Run, Pennsylvania a couple weekends ago to celebrate his birthday. He has been wanting to visit Frank Lloyd Wright's Fallingwater so I planned a weekend trip out there. It was a nice weekend away for the two of us, with my parents watching Noah while we were gone. After touring the amazing house, we headed to Tim's parents for the rest of the weekend and had a chance to visit with family.

The infamous view of Fallingwater that you will typically see in books.

The morning that we left, I had a voicemail informing me of the death of a friend of my family's. Since Tim has been slow with work, we were able to stay at my parents' house for a couple days until I could attend the viewing with my parents and sister. It was so weird. She was my parents' age, the mother of a childhood friend of mine. She has a husband and three daughters, two who are engaged. The oldest, my age, is getting married next month and it is heartbreaking to think that her mom will not be there...that the hurt will still be so fresh...although I doubt the hurt of losing a parent ever goes away.
We finally arrived home and I knitted like a mad-woman to finish some projects to sell in a craft show that Jeana and I were a part of. Overall, it went...ok. I don't think anyone sold much of anything, really. It was a weird time of day and in an odd part of town, although the house it was in was gorgeous. It was a fun experience though, and it got me out of the house for the day and I got to spend some time with Jeana and a woman we used to work with in admissions at Cornerstone, who was there selling some things as well. We are putting some of the leftover items in a craft fair on Cherry Street in Grand Rapids this Saturday, and are entered in another one on December 15th. Somewhere within all that craftiness I have to find time to read "The Count of Monte Cristo" for the book club I'm in. I had better start that... Just one of the many recent projects. This one is from the book, "Bend the Rules Sewing." If you are a sewer, I would highly recommend it. The patterns are adorable, fun, and somewhat simple! Just ignore the water bottle model-head. =)

After being home for a whopping 6 days, we took off again for my parents' house, this time to celebrate Thanksgiving. We went earlier than usual so that Tim could paint some rooms at my grandma's house. We had a great time while there. My parents recently bought a Wii (before they became sold out everywhere) and you would not believe how much exercise that provides! My arms have finally stopped aching from the boxing and tennis.

Tim, Noah, and me at the Festival of Lights Parade in Howell the night after Thanksgiving. It was so cold, the parade started late, and we were unwisely at the end of the route...so we only got to see a few floats before heading home to save our frozen limbs.

Now we are home again. I'm glad we came back on a Saturday so that we could attend our church this morning. It turned out to be a distracting service for Tim and me, as Noah's nursery number was displayed on the screen and that hasn't happened since the first time we attended over a year ago. It turns out he was playing catch with someone, tripped, and hit something on his way down. His tooth sliced open his lip and I have never seen so much blood come from a toddler's lip. It took a few minutes to stop the bleeding and now he is running around with a fat lip that is sporting a gash. Thankfully, it didn't happen right away so we could at least experience what turned out to be the emotional part of the service for me.
There are a lot of things going on in mine and Tim's lives right now, most of them being financial. I had (another) breakdown last night about it and Tim was great at reminding me the ways that God has continued to provide for us, even if they haven't been checks in the mail like what I wish would happen. Today, Matt was recapping this month's series and started describing the second week, which we missed due to Tim's birthday trip. I've taken the summary from his blog (http://web.mac.com/journeymatt/iWeb/matts%20blog/blog/blog.html):

"we looked at Isaiah. He was someone who didn’t feel good about himself or the situation he was in - his country is falling apart and his king has died. But he sees God in a real way for the first time and it changes everything. He shifts from “Woe is me” to “Wow, it’s God”. Isaiah’s message to the nations and to us is turn to God and find strength (Is. 12, Is. 33, Is. 40). The theme for this week was Relying on God’s Strength by shifting our perspective from the problem to the Provider. We talked about how we view life through filters...like the Lions. We can’t put hope in them because they have let us down so many times (like TODAY). So, let’s shift to view life through the filter of God. This is more than just positive thinking. It is trusting that God is with us, faithful to us, and that His divine power can give us everything we need for life. When we stop dwelling on the situation and shift to the solution in our Savior, we can find that our problems don’t seem as big because God is bigger and we can find strength for every day."

I felt like God had hit me in the head with a 2x4, explaining to me that my problems are starting to overtake me. They occupy my every waking thought and drive me crazy as I try to figure out a solution on my own. I needed to be reminded, like last night by Tim, the ways that He has provided for us and that He will continue to. He is the Provider. It's not usually in the ways I expect, but I never seem to be displeased with it when I look back. I just become so impatient in the time of waiting to see how He is going to work, or what miracle He is going to perform to get us out of the jam we're in.
I'm so thankful this weekend - for an awesome and loving husband, for an adventurous and adorable toddler, for a life inside me that I do not yet know by name but by movement and that unbelievable bond between a mother and unborn child, for family and friends, for a church filled with outstanding people, for having no debt, and for knowing the love and forgiveness of a God who continues to speak and provide even if I feel deaf and alone.

My baby boy...

...is not so baby anymore! We converted his crib to the toddler, well actually, we did the daybed so that he would still have a rail on one side. He loves his new freedom of being able to get in and out of bed when he wants. We love that he wakes up, turns on his light, and plays by himself for a bit in the morning before coming to get us. Added sleep for us!

"Helping" Daddy convert the crib. Testing out the mattress.

This is where we have found him the past 2 days during nap time. We have to gently move him back into his bed.

Can You See What I See?

Focus on the Family gave a grant to the Muskegon Pregnancy Services for an ultrasound machine. They were looking for pregnant women between 6 and 20 weeks to train on. Who can turn down a free ultrasound? Not me. Especially since it will be another 5 weeks before our "big" ultrasound where we find out gender, make sure all the anatomy looks correct, etc. and I have been longing to see my baby!
Apparently, he or she is very active as they kept telling me this while trying to get a good shot. I like this one because it is almost identical to one of Noah's 20 week pictures. They both have a hand by their heads in the picture. Like brother like...baby. So can you see the baby in the photo?

I Feel Like I'm Falling for Fall...

That is part of a little song played on the Noggin channel but it describes how I feel about this season! Thanks to our friend, Jeana, for the fun picture above. She came over to drop something off I had forgotten at their house and ended up staying for a little visit. She brought her camera since it was such a beautiful fall day and she took some pictures while we were playing outside in the leaves. This was my sneak peek photo - I can't wait to see the rest!

What a fun couple of weeks we have had. Noah is completely binky-free. Bedtimes were a breeze, we had a few rough naptimes, but overall it's been great. This past Saturday my grandma held a little Halloween party for the family. Here are some pictures. Tim and I went as an Amish couple. We got the idea because of his beard and the comments people make about him looking Amish when it starts to get long.

Noah was a dinosaur. My dad, the garbage man, is feeding him pieces of a cookie. My mom put a garbage bag over her, taped food to it and went as the garbage he collected. They originally did this for a church harvest party years ago and brought it back this year.My niece, Kailyn, was a fairy - a U of M fairy if you factor in her turtleneck onesie.The whole crazy family: (in back) garbage, garbage man, Ricky & Lucy Ricardo, a witch, a spooky person, a couple of hippies, the headless horseman and his vampire girlfriend, and Bonnie & Clyde; (in front) an injured person and his doctor, with their fairy child, a pumpkin, the phantom of the opera, amish Tim, dinosaur Noah, a green fairy, spiderman, and amish me.

My cousin, Casey, and his girlfriend, Jessica, were not able to make it due to the fact they had their baby that morning, 3 weeks early. Welcome to the world, Gavin! He weighed in at a healthy 7 pounds, 15 ounces and was 20 1/2 inches long - we think they had the due date wrong. Jessica had a dream labor, the entire thing was less than 3 hours long from the first contraction to the time Gavin made his appearance. Oh, jealousy.

Tonight we took Noah trick or treating. All the stores in downtown Grand Haven hand out candy from 4-6pm. We thought this would be better than going to the houses in our neighborhood since we don't know any of our neighbors. While driving downtown I thought, "I hope there are at least a couple other trick or treaters so we don't look out of place." This is what we were not expecting:

They actually close down the main street and the place was chaos! You basically end up in this line of people that moves from door to door, or store to store. We ended at the library, where Noah played for a little bit before heading home.

I started really feeling the baby moving this week. It's still not all the time, but usually when I am falling asleep at night I'll feel something slightly stronger than the flutter. I have an ultrasound coming up on Saturday morning that I'm very excited about. I'll post a picture after I have one.

To end, here are some random pictures from this past month...

He loves apples, big and small. This one is at Robinette's in Grand Rapids. He also enjoyed playing on this large tree.

Breaking Binky

So there are a couple things I would like to accomplish before the baby comes in April. I talked them over with Noah's pediatrician yesterday while there for an appointment and he gave me some tips and advice on how to smoothly transition. I told him I wanted to break the binky addiction, move him to a toddler bed (he is trying to climb out of his crib now. He gets his leg on the top railing, but doesn't have enough umph to get over the edge yet), and work on potty training. I don't want to focus on that one until after Christmas though.

He told me that with the potty training, to watch for his cues that he is ready. He said that if we try to push it too soon then he will rebel and not do it. He uses his little potty every once in awhile now, but when we ask him if he wants to use it and he says "no" we never push it. So we'll really just keep doing the same until he says "yes."

With going from the crib to toddler bed, he just said to make sure that we keep the door shut tight or locked so that he can realize that just because he has this new freedom with a big boy bed and being able to get in and out of it whenever he wants, it does not give him the freedom to walk around the house whenever he wants. He said he'll probably test the barrier (the door) for a few nights, realize it's not budging, and then fall asleep quicker at night.

Then there was the binky topic. He said it's definitely time to get rid of it. Right now Noah only uses it during nap and bedtimes, or in times of total crisis. He suggested, and I had read this in a magazine last week, going to a toy store and letting him pick out a toy (preferably a stuffed animal or something he can sleep with) and then having him "pay" for it with his binky.

So we put the plan into action last night, expecting a rough bedtime and no sleep during the night. We went to Toys-R-Us and Target and there were lots of things he liked and wanted, but not enough to give up his binky for. I also think it was a bit overwhelming because there are SO many toys that he was easily distracted. Finally on the way home Tim said, "We're stopping at Hage's and you're going to run in and see if they have a Bob or Larry stuffed animal." I ran in and all they had was a 2 1/2 foot tall Larry Boy. I ran out to the van and told Tim he can look at it and be the one to decide. A few minutes later he came out with a giant bag disguising the Larry Boy inside.

Once home, we took it out and watched Noah's reaction. He was excited about it.

"Do you like Larry Boy?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to keep Larry Boy and sleep with him in your crib?"

"Yes."

"Then you need to give up binky."

"No." He turned and walked down the hall.

Then he stopped, ran back and started pointing out Larry's eyes and his plunger ears.

"Do you want to give me binky and you can have Larry?" I held out my hand expecting the usual reaction.

He spit binky out into my hand, grabbed Larry and carried him off into his room. Tim and I stared at each other in shock.

"Quick," Tim said. "We need to get him to bed before he realizes what he's done."

A short amount of time later, we closed his bedroom door as he quietly said, "Binky. Binky, please. I want binky please."

I went into our bedroom and cried, feeling like a mom who had just taken away her child's best friend. Actually, I sobbed. It's quite pathetic but I will blame it on pregnancy hormones. Tim just sat next to me and laughed. We listened to Noah talk to himself, talk to Larry, talk to his dinosaur, and sing the VeggieTales theme song for about a half hour. I cried for about 5 minutes during that time. Tim said it was harder to deal with me than with Noah.

After a half hour, there was quiet. After 10 minutes of quiet I checked on him. He was completely asleep with Dinosaur at his feet and Larry Boy at his side. We were shocked he never cried yet prepared ourselves for a rough night ahead, figuring he would wake up and find the absence of binky.

He never woke up once.

I checked on him three times to make sure he was alive.

He asked for it once when he woke up this morning, but when Tim reminded him he traded it for Larry Boy, he didn't mention it again.

Success.

We'll see how naptime and tonight's bedtime go.