This Is The Year...

There are so many thoughts in my head today. My first one is that, to quote Oprah Winfrey, "This is the year." The year for what? This is the first time I have entered a year with very clear goals in my mind as well as the determination to make them happen. So, this is my year to:
1. Stick strictly to the budget we have formed. Last night I finished reading Dave Ramsey's "The Total Money Makeover." I so highly recommend this to others to read. I read it three years ago and thought I would go through and re-read it to motivate Tim and me again. It has worked. He says that people who follow the steps in the book usually go from in-debt to wealthy in an average of 7 years, although it's of course different for everyone. We have no more debt having paid it off this fall, so I always think it shouldn't take us as long. However, being a one income family not making a huge amount...it could very well take seven years. That would put us in 2014 as having a paid for house, Noah's (and whatever other children come along) college education covered, retirement funds covered, investments, and having money to be able to either give, have fun with, and save.
2. Stick with an exercise routine and healthy eating. This is probably the number one, or close to it, resolution in America. However, I don't want a quick fix...I want a lifestyle change. I don't want to lose pounds before attending a wedding like I did last year. I want to exercise because it makes me healthy and I feel good when I do it. I also want to model a lifestyle like this for Noah.
3. Be consistent in daily having my devotional time. This has been going very well. I am working in a great Devotional Journal for moms right now. I also want to read the Bible from start to finish, something I have never done before. So I started with Genesis in January, and I'm now nearing the end of Numbers.
So that's that in terms of this being my year. What was my next thought? Oh, yeah. Friends.
I'm very excited because Saturday night three girl friends and I are going to have a little sleepover. We are going to spend the evening praying with each other, doing some Bible studies, and connecting on a deeper level. We are all strugging with different situations, but each one has the same root...fear. We are going to try to tackle and overcome our obstacles. My mom was telling me about a Scripture she heard recently and I really like what it has to say:
"He reached down from on high and took hold of me;
He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
from my foes who were too strong for me.
They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
but the Lord was my support.
He brought me out into a spacious place;
He rescued me because He delighted in me."
~Psalm 18:16-19
It is so cool to think that God delights in us. So many times I wonder if I am worthy enough. Am I worthy of Tim or Noah's love...am I worthy of God's love? However, He DELIGHTS in me. I am for sure not perfect, but by His grace I bring Him laughter and delight.
Take joy today in knowing that God delights in you...His child.

My Dreams Miss Me...

You know the commercial for the sleep aid that has Abraham Lincoln and a groundhog and says, "Your dreams miss you?" I have felt like that until recently. I have not slept well lately, waking up every two hours or so, getting to bed late just about every night for the past week, I had a panic attack in the middle of the night on Friday. However, the past couple nights I have had the strangest dreams. Both nights I dreamt one of my cousins was pregnant. She's not married and I don't even think she's dating anyone, so I'm pretty sure it's just a dream. Last night I was being chased by Yogi, one of the tattoo artists on the TLC show, "Miami Ink." He was beating up a different cousin and I was trying to protect her and then he came after me. Crazy. There were many more weird things happening in my dreams, but they would be too confusing to explain. I didn't want my oddball dreams to miss me, just the normal ones.
The Oscars are on tonight. I have to confess that I always feel a small pang of jealousy when I see all those girls on the red carpet. I'm not jealous of their weight or beauty, just the way they get to have their hair and makeup done and get all dressed up for the night. How fun! I used to LOVE prom and homecoming and feeling like a celebrity for a night (without the diamond jewelry and paparazzi...although my mom did take a lot of pictures.) So tonight I will turn on the TV and think, "Wow, that dress is gorgeous" or "Yikes. All the money she has and she is wearing that??" It's my entertainment for the night.
I think about how Queen Esther spent a year in preparation before seeing King Xerxes. I think that would be awesome, but on the other hand, it would give you that much more time to stress about becoming a queen. Even still, she is one of my favorite Biblical people and I admire the strength and courage she had.
Time to get dinner on. Chicken and sweet potatoes coming our way tonight.

Gung Hay Fat Choy!

Happy Chinese New Year (Gung hay fat choy!) The only reason I know that the Chinese New Year starts today is because our friends, Matt & Jeana, are in the process of adopting a baby girl from China. They have been educating themselves on Chinese culture, the food, holidays, etc. so that they can raise Emma with an awareness of her heritage. They also sent us a Chinese New Year's card. When we called them today to wish them a happy new year, they were having a party to celebrate. It makes us wish we were in California to celebrate with them, or have them back here.
This weekend my parents had Noah at their house. My parents, sister, brother-in-law and niece came over to Muskegon yesterday morning. The guys then went to try the luge at the Muskegon Winter Sports Complex. They all had fun although they were moving pretty slowly afterwards. By late afternoon, Tim had many bruises show up on his calves and he says he is pretty sore. However, he won't deny that he wanted to stay out there all day luge-ing (is that a word?) and he wants to go again sometime and bring his brother with him.
We have had a quiet weekend with Noah gone. We went out last night after 7:00 just because we could. I have to admit, however, that we were home by 8:15 and I fell asleep on the couch at 9:30. So even with Noah gone, we were still in bed by 10:00.
I tried a new recipe for dinner tonight. It was a chicken and mushroom type meal. I don't like mushrooms, but Tim does, so I wanted to make it for him. While eating, we were talking about how, although it has been nice to have quiet and the ability to go where we want spontaneously, we wouldn't trade Noah for it. It is funny how after experiencing life with Noah, we wouldn't go back to our pre-baby life if given the chance. We do appreciate the time we have away from him when we get an opportunity. It gives us a chance to reconnect with each other and hold an uninterrupted conversation in the middle of the day.
With Valentine's Day this past week and having the weekend to ourselves, I was thinking about all the silly ways that Tim shows me he loves me. I let him cut my hair this week. He has always suggests it when I say I need a trim, but I am usually pretty picky about who brings scissors to my hair. Finally, I decided that I couldn't stand the way my hair looked like it had 2 styles going on, but I didn't want to go into a hair salon because I'm trying to grow it out and I know they would cut it off like last time, so I let him do it. I have to admit, my hair curls easier now than it did before. He did a great job.
I was also thinking about how I get into bed before him at night. I love to put my feet on all the cold spots under the covers. I understand that I am weird by doing this, especially during a Michigan winter, but I love cold spots. When Tim crawls into bed and his leg touches my foot, I can hear him stifle a small scream. I ask him if my feet are cold and he usually lies, chattering through his teeth, "N-n-n-no. Th-th-t-they're f-f-f-fine. Mayb-b-b-be just a lit-t-t-tle c-c-c-cold." Rather than taking his legs to the far end of the bed to escape my ice feet, he responds by taking his warm feet and rubs them against mine. It has become a nightly ritual for us. He warms my feet for me. That's love.
As a result, I let him watch the occasional survival show. Tim is watching "Man Vs. Wild" right now. I could never be on a show like that. Right now he is scraping bark off a tree to produce a creamy milk that helps settle the stomach. Apparently he was vomiting half the night and he said he must have picked up a stomach bug somewhere. I think it's probably the raw animals and bugs he eats. Yuck. I have a hard time watching these, but I endure it because I know he likes them, and I can just close my eyes when I feel the nausea coming on.
How do you show love to your spouse? Sometimes our actions speak louder than our words.

Generational Gap

I spent my morning in a period of waiting. I was waiting for a call from my mom to tell me that my dad still had a job. Why was my dad in danger of not having a job? My dad has been a CNC operator for Chrysler for the past 21 years and we knew that today was being nicknamed "The Valentine's Day Massacre," or, the layoffs of 11,000 people. That is a HUGE amount of people.
As I was making my lunch, I finally got the phone call from my mom that I had been waiting for. My dad does still have a job...for now. You never know in the auto industry what will happen tomorrow, especially with the economy the way it is.
While at my in-laws' home for Thanksgiving last year, my brother-in-law and I were discussing how our generation and our parents' generation is so different. Our generation likes to take the time to research things to make sure we're getting the best deal. We want what is best for us, for our families. Our parents' generation, I believe, is more loyal. If they have been using a specific mechanic for the past 15 years, they will continue to go to him even if he could be ripping them, because they are loyal.
As I thought last night about the uncertainty of my parents' future, I started to ponder if one generation is smarter than the other. It is good to research. I don't want to be going to a mechanic who is taking my money for me. I do want to get the most from my money. However, there is a benefit to loyalty, I think. Tim and I drive a Toyota and a Honda. They were both bought as used vehicles, so the money we paid for them was not going directly to Toyota or Honda. However, when I look at our vehicles I do feel a bit of guilt. My dad has worked hard for years with Chrysler to provide for my family. And I repay him by driving the vehicle of another manufacturer....not even a domestic car. In a way it is like I am contributing to the losses of American factory workers.
Even though we would never buy a brand new vehicle, I did tell Tim the other night that I only want to buy domestic autos from now on, preferably Chrysler/Dodge/Jeep. I know many people categorize all domestic vehicles as a piece of junk, but I think they do better than we give them credit for. I think in our selfish society we expect to find a perfect auto that will never give us problems...and let's face it, no matter what you drive, you will eventually run into a problem or two. I think it's all in the way the vehicle is taken care of. Take care of your auto and your auto will take care of you.
I am glad my dad still has a job. We're now waiting for 3:30, when they hand out the information regarding white-collar positions, to see about a close family friend and whether he'll be keeping his job. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a change in the economy soon.

Rock on!

Noah has been a monkey lately. He has learned to climb on just about anything he can. A couple days ago I found him climbing on to the rocking chair in his room.

This rocking chair, though it looks plain, is probably one of my most treasured possessions. It is the same rocking chair that my grandma Nelson used to rock my dad and aunt and uncles in when they were born.

My grandmother passed away in August 2004. She had fought emphysema for years after being a lifelong smoker. She received a lung transplant while I was in high school and lived much longer than the doctors expected. I cannot describe how close I was to my grandma. Since I was just weeks old I had stayed nights at her house so my parents could have a date or a break. My sister, cousin, and I used to love sleepovers at Grandma and Grandpa's house.

I am thankful that my grandma could be at my wedding. I am sad because I will be the only grandchild whose wedding she could attend. She was too sick to attend my sister's but it was at least filmed for her to watch. I am thankful that I had so many good years with her before the emphysema started taking her. I love her and how involved she was in my life.

I am excited because we are planning a visit sometime after Easter to visit Tim's grandmother. She is the only grandparent of his still living and I am thankful that we are going to take the opportunity to visit her. I think that the more involved we become with our own familes, the more we tend to forget our grandparents, unfortunately. Take the time to let someone in your family know how much they are thought of and loved.

What A Week!

Last Saturday we cancelled our plans and stayed inside while a blizzard raged around us. I am not sure how much snow actually fell, but between the blowing winds, freezing temperatures, and dangerous roads...we were glad to stay inside. Sunday we ventured out to the mall and met Randy, Deidra & Wyn there to play.
Wednesday night we went with Randy & Deidra to Reeths-Puffer High School's Collage Concert. The talent the students have is amazing. It makes me realize what a lack of interest in the arts my high school had. Fowlerville always chose to focus more on athletics than arts, like many small public schools.
Wednesday night was also exciting for us, as it was the return of one of our favorite TV shows, "Lost." We're pathetic, I know, but the episode was worth waiting months for and definitely did not disappoint. Now we have 15 more new episodes and NO repeats to go! I just wished they hadn't changed the time to 10:00.
Tonight we are heading to Tim & Christina's. I am attending a Premier Jewelry party with Christina and I believe after Tim puts Noah down for bed, the boys will be having a ping pong tournament. Thankfully, the weather outlook for this weekend is looking better from last.

Emotional Denial

Why do people stay in abusive relationships? I have a friend who is recovering from an emotionally abusive relationship and another friend who is trapped in her own. The second friend is in the state of denial that anything is wrong even though it is blatantly obvious to the rest of us. The first friend is thankful that she can now recognize the signs of one, although at the time she also was in denial.
I was googling (is that really a word?) emotionally abusive relationships. This is a definition I found for it by Beverly Engel, therapist and author of The Emotionally Abusive Relationship, "any non-physical behavior designed to control, intimidate, subjugate, demean, punish, or isolate." In 2000, there was an estimated 8 million people being emotionally or verbally abused. 8 MILLION! That is unacceptable.
I understand that it is hard for people to see when they are in an abusive relationship because they have been so brainwashed or are scared of their partner. I think that is when it is important to have a solid support system. Even if the abused won't listen, I think friends and family members need to try their hardest to help them and love them through it.
I have a cousin who divorced her husband almost two years ago, after just over a year of marriage. He was so horribly verbally abusive that it seemed unreal when we found out. He made comments on the tire around her waist (which she lacked in reality) and how she "had better not get fat like her sister." He also made her pay for her own groceries, expected her to do all the cooking and cleaning, buy the things for the house, and do all this while she did not have a job. They lived in the middle of nowhere and while she looked for work, could not find any in her area. In his anger he threw one of their dogs against a wall and tied another up to the back of his 4-wheeler and dragged him around their yard. This was unknown to all of us until she filed for divorce because she was scared to say anything while they were married.
I have never really been in an abusive relationship, so I don't know what it's like or how hard it is to get out of one. My heart breaks to see all these people, men and women alike, become a shadow of the strong person they once were. They lose their ability to think, their voice, their self-esteem and confidence. They brag up their parter as if he or she is the best, smartest, most wonderful person in the world to try to change everyone's perceptive.
I feel sorry for these people. I know, through experience, that even if you try to show someone they are in an emotionally abusive relationship, they aren't always ready to accept it. I guess we just have to keep loving them through it.