Friday evening Tim was at a "guys night" with some of the men from our church. I put the kids to bed and then settled down to debate what to watch for the night. Movie? TV show on Hulu? Just listen to some music or a sermon? I was catching up on blog reading when I received a call from Matt and Jeana letting me know that on the National Youth Workers Convention site they were going to be live streaming Francis Chan speaking at their Atlanta convention and they thought I might want to watch it. Of course! I called my friend, Renee, to let her and her husband know about it and then settled in. I wasn't sure what to expect since he was speaking to youth leaders/workers/volunteers, but I'm so glad I tuned in.
The whole message was fantastic, but at the end I was convicted in a big, fat way when he started to tell about how a few years ago he sat his staff down (and he said he was going to be doing it again soon) and asked them a question. He said he had a staff of about 60-70 people (by the way, Chan does not get paid for being a pastor. He told the elder board he did not feel right taking a salary. He also has a fund that all of his book royalties go into that help missionaries/Christians in another country that are being persecuted.)
Anyways, he told his staff that they were going to go around and every person had to answer the question on whether or not they were spending at least one hour in prayer each day. He said that if they answered "no" then he was going to remove them and find someone who does to take their place.
This was like a kick in the butt to me because the subject of prayer has been on my mind a lot lately. Not prayer itself, unfortunately, but thinking about it. I think that because my Ladies' Bible Study is going through "Discerning the Voice of God" by Priscilla Shirer - which deals a lot with prayer - I have been noticing how little I pray intentionally. There are the before-the-meal-prayers, before-bed-prayer, and the help-me!-prayers.
Prayer scares me. I don't know why. The thought of sitting down and talking with God for an extended amount of time kind of freaks me out. I worry about what to say, am I going to pray the correct way? Is there a right or wrong way to pray? Things like that. However, I felt that God is speaking to me through Shirer and Chan so I had better listen.
So this week I have been trying some new things based on Scripture. First of all, during the time I was praying yesterday, I felt like God was bringing Psalm 97 into my head. So I read it along with the next 3 chapters, through Psalm 100. Many verses stood out to me, but regarding ways to pray, Psalm 100:2b jumped out:
"Come into his presence with singing!"
Hmmmm.
I also remembered something we had talked about in Bible Study along with my verse I picked to memorize for that week:
"Be not rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be hasty to utter a word before God, for God is in heaven and you are on earth. Therefore let your words be few." -Ecclesiastes 5:2
We talked about how when we come before the Lord (and there are numerous verses that talk about this) we need to pretty much be silent. We are so quick to jump in with our requests and miseries. Not that these are not important to God, but do you love when your children come before you complaining all the time or talking about what they need or want in their lives?
So this is what I tried today that I think I may end up using for my prayer time, although I realize it can and should change based on the day and what is going on in life: I first listened and sang along with some songs from the worship CD: "Any Given Day." I like this CD because it's very passionate and focused. After coming into His presence with some joyful "noise" (since I don't sing well) I just sat quietly for awhile.
Wow, hard.
When you can hear the dryer in the laundry room, the heat kicking on through the vents, the vehicles driving by outside...you realize it's hard to surround yourself with silence. It really is an exercise to train yourself to block out noise. Our Bible study teacher had also recommended keeping some paper and a pen by you, and when a thought pops into your head and you feel you're going to be distracted, write it down and then forget about it until later. Like today I thought, "Oh! I have to remember to pick up___________before tomorrow." Wrote it down and pushed it aside. Side note: this time of prayer was obviously being done while the kids were napping or else this whole moments of silence thing would be a joke.
After that I followed the model we learned in youth group growing up: ACTS
Adoration
Confession
Thanksgiving
Supplication/Intercession
I enjoyed my time and felt like it all became more natural after I got over the thought that it's hard to find things to say to God.
Anyways, how much time would you say you spend in prayer a day/week/month and what are ways that you pray or what are your thoughts on prayer? I'm curious!
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
What Not To Say
You've probably heard it said, thought it yourself, or maybe even said it yourself.
If you've miscarried or lost a child at some point early on, you may have even had it said to you about your situation. We had it happen more frequently than I wish after our miscarriage.
It's the infamous phrase:
"Well, it's probably better that you lost the baby when you did. It might have had conditions/diseases/special needs/handicaps, etc."
Some people even go so far as to tack on, "God was saving him/her from a life of problems and hardship."
This kind of thinking makes me furious. It is basically implying that anyone that does have a handicap or medical disability would be better off dead.
It's like saying that kids like
Brayden
or
Kelsi
or
Waverly and Oliver
live lives of misery and unhappiness. That they shouldn't even be here because they are a burden to their families and society.
It's like saying that those of us who have lost a child in some form would rather have a healthy and beautiful baby than any baby at all.
Wrong.
I think it is funny how, after a 20 week utrasound, the parents receive two questions:
"Did you find out the gender?"
and
"Is it healthy?"
I'll be honest, we have thanked God after each appointment when we hear that yes, everything with our baby looks good. However, we also realize that ultrasounds don't pick up all conditions and that things can be missed. If we found ourselves in a situation where after one of our children were born, it was discovered that something was wrong, do you think we would be holding him or her and thinking,
"Oh, shoot. I wish I would have miscarried this baby."
No! We would do all we could to love on that baby and ask God for guidance as we walk through an unexpected journey.
Those of you reading this may have never said anything like this, but if you have - or if you've even thought it - just take the time to really think about the phrase. In an effort and attempt to try to say something comforting in an awkward situation, you're actually sticking your foot in your mouth and causing more hurt in the person you're talking to.
Please pray for the children I listed above as Brayden, a family member of our's, undergoes what seems like constant testing to try to figure out exactly what is wrong so they can figure out how to treat it. Pray for Kelsi as she has a major mid-face surgery to help her breathe, and due to her condition an infection following could be deadly. Pray for Waverly and Oliver as they and their family walk through the most agressive form of Sanfilippo knowing that, because there is no treatment or cure, they will be the parents who have to bury both their children who are so young right now.
Oh, God, help us to have Your heart for others.
If you've miscarried or lost a child at some point early on, you may have even had it said to you about your situation. We had it happen more frequently than I wish after our miscarriage.
It's the infamous phrase:
"Well, it's probably better that you lost the baby when you did. It might have had conditions/diseases/special needs/handicaps, etc."
Some people even go so far as to tack on, "God was saving him/her from a life of problems and hardship."
This kind of thinking makes me furious. It is basically implying that anyone that does have a handicap or medical disability would be better off dead.
It's like saying that kids like
Brayden
or
Kelsi
or
Waverly and Oliver
live lives of misery and unhappiness. That they shouldn't even be here because they are a burden to their families and society.
It's like saying that those of us who have lost a child in some form would rather have a healthy and beautiful baby than any baby at all.
Wrong.
I think it is funny how, after a 20 week utrasound, the parents receive two questions:
"Did you find out the gender?"
and
"Is it healthy?"
I'll be honest, we have thanked God after each appointment when we hear that yes, everything with our baby looks good. However, we also realize that ultrasounds don't pick up all conditions and that things can be missed. If we found ourselves in a situation where after one of our children were born, it was discovered that something was wrong, do you think we would be holding him or her and thinking,
"Oh, shoot. I wish I would have miscarried this baby."
No! We would do all we could to love on that baby and ask God for guidance as we walk through an unexpected journey.
Those of you reading this may have never said anything like this, but if you have - or if you've even thought it - just take the time to really think about the phrase. In an effort and attempt to try to say something comforting in an awkward situation, you're actually sticking your foot in your mouth and causing more hurt in the person you're talking to.
Please pray for the children I listed above as Brayden, a family member of our's, undergoes what seems like constant testing to try to figure out exactly what is wrong so they can figure out how to treat it. Pray for Kelsi as she has a major mid-face surgery to help her breathe, and due to her condition an infection following could be deadly. Pray for Waverly and Oliver as they and their family walk through the most agressive form of Sanfilippo knowing that, because there is no treatment or cure, they will be the parents who have to bury both their children who are so young right now.
Oh, God, help us to have Your heart for others.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Random Thoughts and Updates and Pictures
Hello, there.
Blogging for me has been few and far between. I'm ok with that. Changing seasons, things to do, tackling projects, etc. Anyways, here we go with an update, pictures and some random thoughts on this mind.
*Baby update - Went in Monday for the ultrasound (I'm 20 weeks today) and everything is checking out great. We thought we were going to have to leave not knowing the gender, which, surprisingly, I was having an easier time coping with than Tim. The "area" was under my belly button and so all we could see was a black spot for awhile where there should have been some kind of parts going on - male or female. Out of the blue the baby moved, actually, it probably was from the technician pressing so hard all over the place and annoying him. That's right, I said HIM - we are expecting a baby boy...an active one at that. He did not stop moving the whole time we were peeking in at him. Hiccups, yawns, arms waving about and kicking feet. I hope he gets it out of his system now so he can come out calm for a bit. Anyways, yes - we have a first name picked out (middle name is still being decided by Tim) and yes, we are the kind of people who share it, so - our boy is going to be named Caleb. (Sorry, Lacey - we're seriously NOT stealing your son's name!) We picked Caleb for a couple different reasons: (a) It's pretty much the only boy name we can agree on and (b) We both think the Caleb of the Bible was a strong and godly man; loyal and obedient, and we would love for our son to have him as his namesake. Over the summer I was listening to "Revive Our Hearts" and Nancy Leigh DeMoss (not sure if I spelled that right) was doing a study on the life of Joshua and one of the days was about Caleb. It is one of my favorite shows I've heard of her's and has stuck with me since. You can read about Caleb in chapters 13 and 14 in the book of Numbers.
*Played at the GR Children's Museum last week with the Nashes. We went to Yesterdog beforehand for dinner and later that night I kept wondering to myself, "What is it about Yesterdog that makes it so awesome? The dive atmosphere? The graffiti on the walls and tables and duct tape holding together parts of the seats? The soggy hot dog buns? The lack of plates? The mix of classic rock and alternative '90s music? The way you feel like you can't get your hands clean enough after you leave?" When I was thinking over all these things, all I can come up with it is that's it's a combination of all the above. The place sounds horrid when you break up all the characteristics and yet when it's all combined, it's addictive. And delicious. Tim and I think Guy Fieri should feature it on "Diners, Dives and Drive-ins." Grand Rapids' gem, right? We love it along with probably everyone else in West Michigan.
Anyways, the Children's Museum was a blast. My kids could not get enough of it. My parents are getting the kids a family membership for Christmas this year so we'll be able to go as much as we want. It is so fun.
*We've been doing projects around the house. We made a toddler bed for Ellie. We wanted to get her out of her crib and get it put away with lots of time before we have to get it out again. She has a jealous nature to her and we can see her being the type to crawl into the crib and try to take it back if it's still fresh in her mind. Tim and I (and Noah, as a "helper") made the bed and we love the way it turned out. So cheap, too. It's great. We start the next project tonight: painting the dining room. I want to paint the walls a tan color (I need a break from the green that's on there now and am in need of a neutral.) Tim said that was fine IF he could paint the ceiling red. So we'll see how this is going to turn out. I will admit, though, I trust his taste in colors completely and when it comes to paint projects, he has more knowledge than me so I can't always see the vision of what he is seeing. I'm trusting him on this one...
*The knitting needles and crochet hooks have found their way out of the basket and into my hands as the weather turns colder. I made Ellie a winter hat, Noah a hat, have one in my queue at Ravelry for myself and have two requests for hats like Ellie's from some other women. I have to say, every year I forget how much I enjoy crocheting. You can turn out a project so much faster than knitting.
*I found a website I am very excited about. It's for once a month freezer cooking and is called Once a Month Mom. I'm getting more into the freezer cooking/baking. What a great way to save money and time!
*A family from church invited us over to their house Saturday night for dinner. They have four girls - the oldest is five years. Can you imagine? We enjoyed getting to know them and had some great discussion. Another family invited us over Monday night. They have three kids and just found out they are expecting #4. Their oldest, Jack, is the same age as Noah and they play together great. Outside of preschool, Noah doesn't have any boys his age to play with so he loved being at a house with a friend his age that plays the same way he does. They also have a daughter just three months younger than Ellie and another girl who is three years old, so Ellie had fun playing with their baby dolls and girlie toys. Tim and I clicked really quickly with the parents and we ended up staying way later than we anticipated. Thankfully, we are able to put our kids to bed easily at other people's houses and they must have been so tired from playing that they were almost instantly asleep. We're enjoying getting to know people from the church and the ones we just spent time with are less interested in playing games and more interested in conversation and getting to know people on an intimate level so it leads to good discussion on what God is teaching everyone.
*We received some great news that some very good friends of our's from college may be moving back to Michigan in the next year if the husband gets the job he's applying for (please, God!!) It's looking really positive so far. It wouldn't be West Michigan, but they would be only about 2 hours away as opposed to 5, so we'll take it!
*I'm very much excited for the holidays this year. We're simplifying everything in order to focus more on what it's really about and not having the pressure of Christmas shopping and fighting the crowds in the stores is so freeing. Tim and I do have to go on Saturday and get the gifts for the Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes we're putting together, but we're planning on doing that without kids so we can get through faster and be able to focus. Plus, that one is just fun because you're providing children with something they won't be getting otherwise. I know that my kids will get gifts from family members and even the nieces and nephews we buy for will also be getting lots of other gifts as well from other family, but I don't think the shoebox kids will so it's just as fun for us to provide some fun for them. We'll have Noah and Ellie help us assemble and wrap the boxes when we get home to involve them in the experience.
*I'm looking forward to getting out my "2009 Goals" list out and seeing what I actually accomplished and then making one for 2010. My friend, Bekah, recently wrote a blog post about making a list of 30 things to do before she turns 30. She found it on someone else's blog and I think I might do it as well. That means I should start thinking because I only have about 13 months to go.
And if you're wondering how big the belly is getting, then here is a little update on that. I actually feel smaller than my other pregnancies so far, although I felt I started getting bigger much sooner.
This is actually me at 6 months pregnant with Noah (this is actually the first picture we took of me pregnant with him. Is that sad?)
This is me pregnant at 5 1/2 months with Ellie. I'm not sure why this writing is funky right now.
This is me at the children's museum last week at 5 months pregnant. Yes, the sweater is the same. I'm limited right now on the clothing options when it comes to maternity. And it's so stinkin' comfy, too.
Blogging for me has been few and far between. I'm ok with that. Changing seasons, things to do, tackling projects, etc. Anyways, here we go with an update, pictures and some random thoughts on this mind.
*Baby update - Went in Monday for the ultrasound (I'm 20 weeks today) and everything is checking out great. We thought we were going to have to leave not knowing the gender, which, surprisingly, I was having an easier time coping with than Tim. The "area" was under my belly button and so all we could see was a black spot for awhile where there should have been some kind of parts going on - male or female. Out of the blue the baby moved, actually, it probably was from the technician pressing so hard all over the place and annoying him. That's right, I said HIM - we are expecting a baby boy...an active one at that. He did not stop moving the whole time we were peeking in at him. Hiccups, yawns, arms waving about and kicking feet. I hope he gets it out of his system now so he can come out calm for a bit. Anyways, yes - we have a first name picked out (middle name is still being decided by Tim) and yes, we are the kind of people who share it, so - our boy is going to be named Caleb. (Sorry, Lacey - we're seriously NOT stealing your son's name!) We picked Caleb for a couple different reasons: (a) It's pretty much the only boy name we can agree on and (b) We both think the Caleb of the Bible was a strong and godly man; loyal and obedient, and we would love for our son to have him as his namesake. Over the summer I was listening to "Revive Our Hearts" and Nancy Leigh DeMoss (not sure if I spelled that right) was doing a study on the life of Joshua and one of the days was about Caleb. It is one of my favorite shows I've heard of her's and has stuck with me since. You can read about Caleb in chapters 13 and 14 in the book of Numbers.
*Played at the GR Children's Museum last week with the Nashes. We went to Yesterdog beforehand for dinner and later that night I kept wondering to myself, "What is it about Yesterdog that makes it so awesome? The dive atmosphere? The graffiti on the walls and tables and duct tape holding together parts of the seats? The soggy hot dog buns? The lack of plates? The mix of classic rock and alternative '90s music? The way you feel like you can't get your hands clean enough after you leave?" When I was thinking over all these things, all I can come up with it is that's it's a combination of all the above. The place sounds horrid when you break up all the characteristics and yet when it's all combined, it's addictive. And delicious. Tim and I think Guy Fieri should feature it on "Diners, Dives and Drive-ins." Grand Rapids' gem, right? We love it along with probably everyone else in West Michigan.
Anyways, the Children's Museum was a blast. My kids could not get enough of it. My parents are getting the kids a family membership for Christmas this year so we'll be able to go as much as we want. It is so fun.
*We've been doing projects around the house. We made a toddler bed for Ellie. We wanted to get her out of her crib and get it put away with lots of time before we have to get it out again. She has a jealous nature to her and we can see her being the type to crawl into the crib and try to take it back if it's still fresh in her mind. Tim and I (and Noah, as a "helper") made the bed and we love the way it turned out. So cheap, too. It's great. We start the next project tonight: painting the dining room. I want to paint the walls a tan color (I need a break from the green that's on there now and am in need of a neutral.) Tim said that was fine IF he could paint the ceiling red. So we'll see how this is going to turn out. I will admit, though, I trust his taste in colors completely and when it comes to paint projects, he has more knowledge than me so I can't always see the vision of what he is seeing. I'm trusting him on this one...
*The knitting needles and crochet hooks have found their way out of the basket and into my hands as the weather turns colder. I made Ellie a winter hat, Noah a hat, have one in my queue at Ravelry for myself and have two requests for hats like Ellie's from some other women. I have to say, every year I forget how much I enjoy crocheting. You can turn out a project so much faster than knitting.
*I found a website I am very excited about. It's for once a month freezer cooking and is called Once a Month Mom. I'm getting more into the freezer cooking/baking. What a great way to save money and time!
*A family from church invited us over to their house Saturday night for dinner. They have four girls - the oldest is five years. Can you imagine? We enjoyed getting to know them and had some great discussion. Another family invited us over Monday night. They have three kids and just found out they are expecting #4. Their oldest, Jack, is the same age as Noah and they play together great. Outside of preschool, Noah doesn't have any boys his age to play with so he loved being at a house with a friend his age that plays the same way he does. They also have a daughter just three months younger than Ellie and another girl who is three years old, so Ellie had fun playing with their baby dolls and girlie toys. Tim and I clicked really quickly with the parents and we ended up staying way later than we anticipated. Thankfully, we are able to put our kids to bed easily at other people's houses and they must have been so tired from playing that they were almost instantly asleep. We're enjoying getting to know people from the church and the ones we just spent time with are less interested in playing games and more interested in conversation and getting to know people on an intimate level so it leads to good discussion on what God is teaching everyone.
*We received some great news that some very good friends of our's from college may be moving back to Michigan in the next year if the husband gets the job he's applying for (please, God!!) It's looking really positive so far. It wouldn't be West Michigan, but they would be only about 2 hours away as opposed to 5, so we'll take it!
*I'm very much excited for the holidays this year. We're simplifying everything in order to focus more on what it's really about and not having the pressure of Christmas shopping and fighting the crowds in the stores is so freeing. Tim and I do have to go on Saturday and get the gifts for the Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes we're putting together, but we're planning on doing that without kids so we can get through faster and be able to focus. Plus, that one is just fun because you're providing children with something they won't be getting otherwise. I know that my kids will get gifts from family members and even the nieces and nephews we buy for will also be getting lots of other gifts as well from other family, but I don't think the shoebox kids will so it's just as fun for us to provide some fun for them. We'll have Noah and Ellie help us assemble and wrap the boxes when we get home to involve them in the experience.
*I'm looking forward to getting out my "2009 Goals" list out and seeing what I actually accomplished and then making one for 2010. My friend, Bekah, recently wrote a blog post about making a list of 30 things to do before she turns 30. She found it on someone else's blog and I think I might do it as well. That means I should start thinking because I only have about 13 months to go.
And if you're wondering how big the belly is getting, then here is a little update on that. I actually feel smaller than my other pregnancies so far, although I felt I started getting bigger much sooner.
This is actually me at 6 months pregnant with Noah (this is actually the first picture we took of me pregnant with him. Is that sad?)
This is me pregnant at 5 1/2 months with Ellie. I'm not sure why this writing is funky right now.
This is me at the children's museum last week at 5 months pregnant. Yes, the sweater is the same. I'm limited right now on the clothing options when it comes to maternity. And it's so stinkin' comfy, too.
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