Gleam

It is a gray day.  The temperature is unusually mild for January, but the sun is hiding so the weather feels dreary.  Despite waking up with a heart of thankfulness, gray weather can cause gray to seep into the heart.  Sometimes when that gray goes unchecked, it can darken and deepen. 
I found myself starting to fall into that funk this afternoon.  Nothing was wrong in the day - it just felt blah, dreary, down, damp, colorless.  Feeling mopey I wandered into the kitchen.  I pulled out a lighter and set it to a candle called Vanilla Oak.  In a brief moment, the candle had cast a dim glow and a warm scent through the kitchen.  I felt a slight lift to my spirit. 

After folding laundry, I put towels in the bathroom cupboard, and while in there flicked on the snowflake nightlight.  Another dim light shone through a dark room.  My spirit lifted a little more. 

While walking back down the hallway, I found Ezekiel sitting in the doorway of my bedroom, lifting his hands to me.  I picked him up and tickled his chin.  He giggled.  I tickled his belly.  Deeper laughter.  I nuzzled and kissed his sweet baby cheeks and neck and he roared with a full belly laugh.  The laughter bubbled from his belly straight to my heart, lifting it more, causing me to thank the Lord for this sweet boy He surprised us with.
I was reminded of the devotional I read this morning.  In it was a paragraph that had stood out to me this morning, little did I know I would come back to it later in the day:

While you worship Me in the midst of darkness, I enable you to see the first gleam of dawn on the path before you. Continue walking worshipfully with Me - a walk of faith.  As you persevere along this path, the dim light will gradually shine brighter and brighter till the full light of day. 
(Jesus Today by Sarah Young, p. 56)

One of the accompanying verses was Proverbs 4:18: "But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn,

which shines brighter and brighter until full day."

The light of dawn begins with a sunrise, a few rays gleaming to pierce the night sky before a blinding sun takes charge.  

A dim light can pierce a gray heart and lead to a fully lifted spirit when we let His light shine in us.  

Thank you, Lord, for showing me the first gleams when I turn my heart toward You, that I may continue to worship and see Your light shine brightly.

Follow Through

We're a week into the New Year of 2013.  People have (or maybe haven't) set resolutions and goals for the year.  Tim and I set goals and this year we're doing it a bit different.  We're breaking the year into chunks and setting our goals month by month to build habits and avoid the feeling of being overwhelmed.  We do have a financial goal we'd like to reach by December 31st of 2013, and I do have a personal goal I'd like to have happen by the fall.  It helps that our health-related goals are kept accountable by our friends, the Lamppas, who we are partnering with in that realm.  Our health-related goals are:

*Tim - no snacking after 8:30pm and exercise 3x a week
*Me - no snacking after 8:00 pm and exercise 3x a week

We do not have any weight goals, as Tim does not need to lose any, and I am tired of striving after a number on a scale.  We did set rewards for what happens if we reach our goals, but Unty also had the idea of setting a consequence if we did not reach our goals.  He said it should be something that we would never want to do, in order to keep us really motivated.  Tim's reward is attending a concert, musical, or some kind of event.  The Avett Brothers are coming to Grand Rapids next month so that's convenient.  :)  His consequence is having to eat vegetarian for an entire week.  For him, this possibility is torture.  My reward is a dinner date at Hearthstone, a delicious restaurant that we haven't been to in over a year.  My consequence is having to donate $25 to Planned Parenthood.  As this is a place I would not want my money to go, it's pretty motivating.

On top of our goals, we've been doing the Detox that is part of Whole Living's 28-Day Challenge from 2011.  We are one week into it and I feel amazing!  My body obviously has not liked some of the things I've been eating in my life, as I now feel more energetic, less fuzzy in the brain, happier, I find myself more patient with my kids, less stressed out, and sleeping better at night.  We get to start introducing certain foods tomorrow, taking the time to note how they make us feel.  I'm very interested to see what my body reacts to and because I'm keeping a journal of how I feel, I think I'll be able to cut out what is harming my body.

Our financial goal is to be debt-free (but the house) by the end of the year.  At the moment we have one auto loan and as Tim's van is in the shop right now and looking like this could be the end of it, we may have to take another out, which we don't want to do, but if we have the goal of paying it off by the end of the year, at least we have a determined goal.  We also want to have 3 months of savings in our emergency fund.  This is mainly since Tim's job can be "feast or famine" and December is typically when the famine starts for painters.  It is a big goal for us, a family of 6, on one income that is not large, but we truly believe we can make it happen.  We're going to be saying "no" to desires and wants along the way.  Discipline!

My personal goal is to run a 10K by the fall.  I am not a natural runner, but I have done a few 5K races and I'd like to try the next step up this year.  I plan on doing a couple 5K races along the way to help in the training. 

There are other smaller goals, but I won't go through them. Maybe I'll report on my progress at the end of each month to help keep me accountable as well.

My motto of the year (phrase?) is "Follow Through." I chose it because I feel like I have a hard time following through on things.  We've set budgets in the past that we didn't look twice at, I've started exercise routines that were never finished, I even have crochet/knit projects sitting in a basket that I half finished and got bored with.  Not this year!  This is the year I follow through on what I start and I finish it!  I have my goals, I have set boundaries to stop being hurt by people around me, I have a support system, I have my verse for the year:

Hebrews 12:11-13 - "For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed."
  
It's perfect!!  Discipline IS hard in the beginning, but it's worth it in the end!  Even in a week's worth of time, I can see the differences being made in our home and how the Lord is strengthening us already.  I know that everyone starts the year off with that "Woo-hoo! Go get 'em!  I can do it!" mentality that drops off by the middle of February, but this year feels different to me.  It feels like a year of big things ahead for us and we're ready to tackle them, trusting the Lord and giving glory to Him as we go!

What goals have you set this year?  Do you feel it is a big year for you as well?