Tim and I went to a marriage conference this past weekend on the other side of the state. It was great. Our friends, Josh and Renee, invited us back in the fall and offered their house for us to stay at. We loved this as it gave us an opportunity to visit with them and catch up on life. They were gracious hosts (they let us sleep in their bed and they took an air mattress upstairs - now that's sacrifice!) We had a wonderful time.
There have been so many things on my mind and I never know which ones to blog about and which not to. Ever since the whole "what-we're-looking-for-in-a-church" post back in the fall that caused a small ruckus, I feel as if I need to write in a different way. This is wrong, I know, in that this is my blog and if you don't like it - don't read it! However, I guess it hits me a certain way. A couple years ago Tim and I came to the realization that we're both people-pleasers. Not necessarily a good thing because you pretty much end up living your lives to accommodate the wants and desires (not needs) of others. Although we started to stick up for ourselves a bit more, I still worry about whether or not I'm going to offend someone.
I don't write many things about church anymore because the situation that followed with someone ended up as a hurtful experience and lost friendship.
I don't write truthfully about Tim's job anymore because my mom said, "I think your grandma reads your blog so make sure you don't write about ______________."
Besides updates, I don't write about this pregnancy because I have friends who have miscarried or are having trouble conceiving and I know it's a painful situation. One friend has stopped communication between us as our pregnancies were only a few weeks apart and I'm sure it's painful for her. Heck, I had to live it with my sister-in-law when I miscarried and she remained pregnant and I was about 3 weeks ahead of her. I know it's painful. I had to work through the hate, jealousy, anger and confusion as naive comments were made from people around us. Thank God that He is patient, constant, loving and can not only forgive us for our thoughts but also allow us to forgive others in our hearts when they don't even realize what they've done.
So my blog hasn't been updated much, not just because I haven't felt up-to-par in energy but because I never know how to write since I've apparently transported back into people-pleaser mode.
So would you like an honest update right now? Here it goes...
We love the church we are now attending. So much so that we actually went through the membership class and are being introduced (or whatever they do) as new members this coming Sunday. We have had the opportunity to meet and form relationships with amazing people who truly care about more than the superficial things in life. They want to get together and really talk - about life's valleys and mountain tops, about theological things, about anything! In a short amount of time we feel like we know them more than people we knew for years. Tim has become involved with the music team and also played in an indoor-soccer league with some guys from the church for the past two sessions. Currently, soccer is done right now so he has moved on to playing basketball at the church once a week. This has given him the opportunity to meet people and do something physically active which I never realized was so important for him. I am still attending the Ladies Bible Study and we are starting a study by Anne Graham Lotz called "The Vision of His Glory." It is on the book of Revelation, which has always terrified me, so I'm interested in seeing how this goes since it focuses more on hope than fear.
Work life. Tim was "fired" back at the beginning of December. He's self-employed and sub-contracted so "fired" for him means the owner of the painting company wasn't going to supply him with any more work. The most interesting thing, I think, was the way we responded to the phone call. He came inside (I had no idea what was going on) after a phone call during a morning shoveling snow and he said, "Well, I'm fired." I looked at him and said, "Ok. What do you want me to make you for lunch?" No stress or fear of the future. We have been through God's supernatural provision too many times. When he explained all of what transpired to me later, I was actually kind of happy that he wouldn't be working for the guy anymore. The whole thing was ridiculous and Tim didn't do anything wrong that he needed to be ashamed of. He has no regrets and I think that's great.
God has provided him with pretty steady work since, maybe a few days off here and there, but he's on his third side job since it happened. You have to understand this as well - Tim doesn't advertise, so the jobs that he gets come from word of mouth recommendations. I'm so proud of him. Since being "fired", they have called back twice. The first time was to ask what it would take to get him to come back. Tim gave them a list of "conditions" and hadn't heard back. The second call came on our way to the marriage conference this weekend and the manager (not owner - the manager Tim actually got along great with; it's the owner that has issues) asked if he could come in and help over the weekend. Tim told him we would be out of town. The manager informed him that he (the manager) had quit and was just going to finish the house up over the weekend and be done. So now the owner has lost his two full-time hardest workers. We're curious as to if he can even stay in business much longer with how he's running his business into the ground.
So we haven't been concerned in the work area. Oh! This is awesome, too: Tim had debated back and forth about calling Aaron, the guy who he first worked for and was taught to paint by, six years ago. After a couple days, he decided that he would wait and let Aaron call him if he needed help. (Besides a few weeks of work for Aaron a year ago, Tim has not painted with his company since Noah was born, so 4 1/2 years ago. We don't see or talk to Aaron so it would be random if Aaron actually called Tim.) About two hours later, Tim received a call from Aaron, whose company happens to be coming up on some busy schedules and he was wondering if/when Tim had availability and interest in doing some work. Would he?! What another sign of God's provision!
Now here is the biggest way we are praying right now. This one has been my struggle when I get emotional/hormonal and want to give up. We have to pay for this birth out of pocket. Our HSA does not cover maternity. You can buy a maternity rider, but you have to do so before becoming pregnant. Since we were not planning on becoming pregnant again, we never had time to buy a rider. We more than qualify for Medicaid, which we had to use for our other two births, but we decided at the beginning of this pregnancy that we didn't want to depend on it again. We trusted that God would provide for this baby, who was a surprise to us but not to Him.
We figured that extra money would go into the baby account and our tax return would cover the hospital stay which we researched the cost of. Not a problem. We assumed that, in all, if everything went as planned (which we know can seem like a stretch to think) it would cost us between $4,000-$6,000, which actually made it pointless to even buy a maternity rider as it would cost us the same amount and I think we still would have had other payments to make.
I had an appointment two weeks ago during which my midwife shared her concern for delivering at the hospital we originally planned. Apparently, some decisions are being made there and, coupled with short-staffed and over-worked nurses, she and her husband (the OB/GYN in the office) have become concerned for the safety of their patients, especially those of us who have had complications already in our pregnancies. The decision was still mine and Tim's to make on where to deliver and we are opting for the hospital in Grand Rapids. I called later that week to find out how much Spectrum charges for a birth and it's about twice as much as the other hospital. This means, we're now looking at about $10,000 for a birth with no complications or medications. Talk about motivation to go epidural-free!
My first reaction was freak-out, I'm not going to lie. I sobbed and told Tim we need to just do the Medicaid, which he still stood against. I hung up the phone on him, angry and confused. That's when the afternoon took another interesting turn. I sat down with my lunch and opened the Compassion magazine that we get for sponsoring kids from Compassion. On the first page is the president's letter and my eyes for some reason (or more likely by a nudge from the Lord) were immediately drawn to a paragraph toward the end of the letter. It reads:
Compassion decided not to seek funds from government sources. "The earth is the Lord's and everything in it" (Psalm 24:1 NIV). God is able to meet the financial needs of Compassion. It's our responsibility to trust the He will honor those who honor Him and then to steward with integrity the resources He provides through you, our sponsors. Of our $465 million annual budget, not one penny comes from the U.S. government.
Interesting, I thought. OK, so, yes, Compassion has sponsors to help them meet their budget, but at the same time I'm not needing $465 million here.
Then, about an hour or two later, I received a call from my mom that a relative was sending a check to Tim and I because she had felt it placed on her heart. The relative just wanted a phone call when we got the check to be certain it made it to us since she doesn't trust the postal service in her town. By the time I got off the phone with my mom, I could feel God's arms surrounding me.
"I'm sorry," I whispered in prayer. "I'm so dumb for forgetting that there is no amount of money that is impossible for you when everything on this earth is Your's."
This past weekend at the marriage conference, the speakers (Dave and Ann Wilson) encouraged all of us to come up with a mission for our marriage. Tim and I talked on the way back to Josh and Renee's house about what our mission could be. As soon as Tim started talking, I knew we would be on the same page. He talked about how God has provided for our family in awesome ways that are beyond what we could imagine. How we forget about verses like Matthew 17:20 that tell us:
For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.
We decided that a good mission phrase for our family would be something along the lines of Mustard Seed. In our society we depend so much on ourselves and what we can do for us. We depend on our government (and we all know how reliable that is) and what they can do for us. How often do we believe that our faith can make the impossible possible? Do we think the Bible lies? Or was it just applicable back when Jesus was around?
Yes, $10,000 seems like an outrageous amount of money to me when we have but $5 in a savings account. No, I have no clue how God is going to provide for this birth. But I know this much:
We have a mustard seed of faith. And that is all our God needs.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Seriously, Do They Ever Stop??
Yesterday I went out with my STATS group for their presentation. STATS is a program I volunteer/work with (I get a very small stipend and mileage reimbursed so I guess I can't say I totally volunteer) out of Reeths-Puffer High School. STATS stands for Straight Talk About Tough Stuff. High school students at R-P interview for a spot in it and only 48 are chosen. They then are broken up and organized (by the leaders) into 6 teams of 8 students - 4 boys and 4 girls. This year we have done things a bit differently and there are 3 sex teams and 3 substance abuse teams. The teams go out once a month during the school year to Muskegon County middle schools and teach the kids about abstinence. This is done through skits, songs, personal talks, tips on how to say "no", etc. The middle school kids think it's great to have these cool high school students interacting with them throughout the day and the teachers appreciate what the teams are doing.
There is some background. I lead one of the teams, which basically means that I am in charge of turning on the music (certain songs for certain skits, etc), keep track of the bag o' props, and cheer them on as well as give constructive criticism if they're getting out of hand. My group this year is fantastic which makes it even more enjoyable. They also "mother hen" me and don't let me carry anything, move anything, demand I sit, and even laid out a plan of what to do if I go into labor during a practice or performance (who will drive me to the hospital, who will lean out the car window mimicking ambulance noises and yelling "move out of the way! Lady in labor!", who will hold my hand in the backseat, etc.) They're a riot.
Anyways, back to the point of this post. Yesterday I was with my STATS team at North Muskegon middle school, which is also in the same building as the high school and connected to the elementary school. They all share the same cafeteria and other offices, etc. Small school, big building. We were not expecting to receive lunch, as we do from other schools, because they only had 3 classes to perform to and they were back-to-back-to-back. The principal, who was very kind, told me at the end of the first performance that he would have the second class come in a bit later so that we could have time to run down to the cafeteria and grab a bite to eat. Usually, we eat lunch with the students so that the kids can interact with them, but at N. Muskegon, the middle schoolers actually eat brunch and had already eaten. The high schoolers had also already consumed their lunches. We would be eating with the 1st-3rd graders. This was fine with us as we would mainly be shoveling our food in anyways to prep for the next performance.
I was not expecting what came next. As we walked down the hall to stand in line for lunch, these little munchkins were all around us. One small boy looked up and looked me right in the eye as I took my place in line.
It pierced my heart because all I could think of was how he was but a couple years older than Noah and that meant that in a couple years, Noah is going to be in a cafeteria eating lunch.
At school.
Without me.
My first instinct was to say, "I'm never sending Noah to school. He's staying home forever." This brought a couple things: one being my STATS kids saying, "No! You can't shelter him! Just be a good parent and he'll turn out like us." (They're quite confident, no? Good thing they really are great kids.)
The second was that I would never keep Noah from life experiences. I know they're going to hurt and I'm sure I'll be one of the parents that drops her son off at his first day of school and then cries afterward. It's a good thing we live within walking distance of the school so I just have to walk through a blur of tears and not operate a vehicle.
Every time I think about young-5s and kindergarten, I'm fine. I mean, really, right now he is in preschool 3 days a week for 2 1/2 hours each time. In Y-5 and kindergarten, he'll be there 5 days a week for around 3 hours. That's not too big a jump, and quite honestly, with a new baby here and Ellie being home still since she won't be old enough for preschool yet, I think Noah is going to want to be at school more than home and I will probably find things a bit easier to handle in the mornings.
It's that thinking about first grade that throws me off. He'll be gone all day. Will he make friends easily? Will kids like him? His teachers have always loved him - at church and at preschool. Will older kids bully him?
I posted not too long ago about our debating putting him in Y-5 instead of kindergarten next year. Now I'm posting this. I need to just chill out since the time is not here anyways.
Does a mother's heart ever get some kind of relief?
Do our tears always flow freely and easily?
Does parenting ever get easier?
Probably not.
It's worth it.
There is some background. I lead one of the teams, which basically means that I am in charge of turning on the music (certain songs for certain skits, etc), keep track of the bag o' props, and cheer them on as well as give constructive criticism if they're getting out of hand. My group this year is fantastic which makes it even more enjoyable. They also "mother hen" me and don't let me carry anything, move anything, demand I sit, and even laid out a plan of what to do if I go into labor during a practice or performance (who will drive me to the hospital, who will lean out the car window mimicking ambulance noises and yelling "move out of the way! Lady in labor!", who will hold my hand in the backseat, etc.) They're a riot.
Anyways, back to the point of this post. Yesterday I was with my STATS team at North Muskegon middle school, which is also in the same building as the high school and connected to the elementary school. They all share the same cafeteria and other offices, etc. Small school, big building. We were not expecting to receive lunch, as we do from other schools, because they only had 3 classes to perform to and they were back-to-back-to-back. The principal, who was very kind, told me at the end of the first performance that he would have the second class come in a bit later so that we could have time to run down to the cafeteria and grab a bite to eat. Usually, we eat lunch with the students so that the kids can interact with them, but at N. Muskegon, the middle schoolers actually eat brunch and had already eaten. The high schoolers had also already consumed their lunches. We would be eating with the 1st-3rd graders. This was fine with us as we would mainly be shoveling our food in anyways to prep for the next performance.
I was not expecting what came next. As we walked down the hall to stand in line for lunch, these little munchkins were all around us. One small boy looked up and looked me right in the eye as I took my place in line.
It pierced my heart because all I could think of was how he was but a couple years older than Noah and that meant that in a couple years, Noah is going to be in a cafeteria eating lunch.
At school.
Without me.
My first instinct was to say, "I'm never sending Noah to school. He's staying home forever." This brought a couple things: one being my STATS kids saying, "No! You can't shelter him! Just be a good parent and he'll turn out like us." (They're quite confident, no? Good thing they really are great kids.)
The second was that I would never keep Noah from life experiences. I know they're going to hurt and I'm sure I'll be one of the parents that drops her son off at his first day of school and then cries afterward. It's a good thing we live within walking distance of the school so I just have to walk through a blur of tears and not operate a vehicle.
Every time I think about young-5s and kindergarten, I'm fine. I mean, really, right now he is in preschool 3 days a week for 2 1/2 hours each time. In Y-5 and kindergarten, he'll be there 5 days a week for around 3 hours. That's not too big a jump, and quite honestly, with a new baby here and Ellie being home still since she won't be old enough for preschool yet, I think Noah is going to want to be at school more than home and I will probably find things a bit easier to handle in the mornings.
It's that thinking about first grade that throws me off. He'll be gone all day. Will he make friends easily? Will kids like him? His teachers have always loved him - at church and at preschool. Will older kids bully him?
I posted not too long ago about our debating putting him in Y-5 instead of kindergarten next year. Now I'm posting this. I need to just chill out since the time is not here anyways.
Does a mother's heart ever get some kind of relief?
Do our tears always flow freely and easily?
Does parenting ever get easier?
Probably not.
It's worth it.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Stop the Hormonal Rollercoaster...I Need to Get Off
My emotions during this pregnancy have been pretty in-check. I'll admit, on Christmas night at my in-laws', each family took a different chapter to read from The Jesus Storybook Bible (we each had a copy with us. I think it's kind of funny that we all even own a copy of the same Bible for our kids!) that revolved around the Christmas story. I read aloud first and it was the chapter about Jesus being born. Yeah, try to get through that one without crying. I was a mess.
That has pretty much been the extent of my emotionalism. (Is that a word?)
Until a couple Saturdays ago, when I became the Jekyll/Hyde of pregnancy. All I can say is that I'm thankful my husband is patient and wise.
I returned home from a quick Meijer trip and found the kids had already finished their lunches, been cleaned up and were down for their naps. I was looking forward to making a bowl of Campbell's Tomato Soup and loading it down with Townhouse crackers...because, as Tim says, I tend to eat more along the line of crackers with some soup rather than soup with some crackers. Anyways...
I heated up my soup and poured it in the bowl. Tim was in the kitchen cleaning up from lunch still as I opened the cabinet and pulled out the box of crackers which seemed very light. I looked inside.
Empty.
I turned to Tim and asked, "Where are the crackers?"
Not noticing the possible eruption ahead he said, "Oh, I gave the rest to the kids with their lunch today."
"Why is there an empty box in the cupboard?"
"I must have forgotten to throw it away."
3...2...1...
"How am I supposed to eat my tomato soup with no crackers?! Why would you put an empty box back into the cupboard? I can't eat my soup without my crackers!"
At this point, he stops wiping off the dining room table to actually look at me. "Well, I saved you some leftovers meatballs if you want those instead."
I opened the fridge and pulled out said meatballs. There were a few. I looked for the mashed potatoes. None.
"Where are the mashed potatoes?" I asked.
"I finished them off with lunch," Tim answered, his voice growing afraid.
"I can't eat these meatballs without the mashed potatoes and I can't eat my soup with crackers!"
At this point I am seriously crying and at the same time wondering what has possessed my body to make me act this way as even I can tell I'm being truly ridiculous. Yet I can't seem to overcome it.
Tim bravely suggested, "Maybe you should lay down on the couch for a few minutes."
Still sobbing, I threw myself on to the couch and covered myself with a blanket (because I'm so not dramatic.) I lay there crying for a minute.
I woke up an hour later. I don't even remember falling asleep but I must have been out of it pretty hard because Tim said I was snoring. And I don't snore. Except while pregnant with this baby.
I was so embarrassed when I woke up and quickly apologized to Tim for my irrational behavior. He forgave me and said he knew I just needed some sleep. This was, obviously, true.
This pregnancy has been something else. Two months to go and I'm hoping to be able to overcome "crazy, pregnant Andrea" within that time.
We'll see.
That has pretty much been the extent of my emotionalism. (Is that a word?)
Until a couple Saturdays ago, when I became the Jekyll/Hyde of pregnancy. All I can say is that I'm thankful my husband is patient and wise.
I returned home from a quick Meijer trip and found the kids had already finished their lunches, been cleaned up and were down for their naps. I was looking forward to making a bowl of Campbell's Tomato Soup and loading it down with Townhouse crackers...because, as Tim says, I tend to eat more along the line of crackers with some soup rather than soup with some crackers. Anyways...
I heated up my soup and poured it in the bowl. Tim was in the kitchen cleaning up from lunch still as I opened the cabinet and pulled out the box of crackers which seemed very light. I looked inside.
Empty.
I turned to Tim and asked, "Where are the crackers?"
Not noticing the possible eruption ahead he said, "Oh, I gave the rest to the kids with their lunch today."
"Why is there an empty box in the cupboard?"
"I must have forgotten to throw it away."
3...2...1...
"How am I supposed to eat my tomato soup with no crackers?! Why would you put an empty box back into the cupboard? I can't eat my soup without my crackers!"
At this point, he stops wiping off the dining room table to actually look at me. "Well, I saved you some leftovers meatballs if you want those instead."
I opened the fridge and pulled out said meatballs. There were a few. I looked for the mashed potatoes. None.
"Where are the mashed potatoes?" I asked.
"I finished them off with lunch," Tim answered, his voice growing afraid.
"I can't eat these meatballs without the mashed potatoes and I can't eat my soup with crackers!"
At this point I am seriously crying and at the same time wondering what has possessed my body to make me act this way as even I can tell I'm being truly ridiculous. Yet I can't seem to overcome it.
Tim bravely suggested, "Maybe you should lay down on the couch for a few minutes."
Still sobbing, I threw myself on to the couch and covered myself with a blanket (because I'm so not dramatic.) I lay there crying for a minute.
I woke up an hour later. I don't even remember falling asleep but I must have been out of it pretty hard because Tim said I was snoring. And I don't snore. Except while pregnant with this baby.
I was so embarrassed when I woke up and quickly apologized to Tim for my irrational behavior. He forgave me and said he knew I just needed some sleep. This was, obviously, true.
This pregnancy has been something else. Two months to go and I'm hoping to be able to overcome "crazy, pregnant Andrea" within that time.
We'll see.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
My Most Recent Enjoyment...
Not just eating bread...goodness, that's always been one of my favorite things to do. No, it's baking my own bread that I am enjoying. And, oh, is this recipe delightful. I honestly don't think I'll ever buy store bought bread again. We had some as a snack, yum. I used some for a tuna fish sandwich for lunch, yum. We had some with our dinner tonight, yum. I doubled the recipe to make two loaves and it's probably a really good thing I did.
I don't have a bread machine, which is what the recipe called for, so I was thrilled to find a woman who wrote a review with the modifications to do it by hand. I really can't get enough of doing it by hand. For me, there is something about kneading the dough that is so incredibly necessary for me. I think it teaches me a couple life lessons:
Be still - When you have to stand in one place at a counter to knead dough for anywhere from 5 to 8 minutes depending on what kind you're making, you have to kind of still your body. Obviously, you can't walk around the kitchen while kneading so you're put in one place for what feels like a long time. This is good for me because I am not usually the type of person who can just stand. When I'm kneading, I can pray, I can think, I can sing - I can enjoy a few minutes of keeping my legs in one spot.
Patience - For this recipe in particular, when I was finished kneading the dough, I had to let it rise for an hour while it doubled. Then I had to punch it down and let it rise for another 45 minutes while it doubled again. Then I had to put it in the loaf pans and let it go for another 20 minutes before then baking it for 40 minutes. Within the first 10 minutes it was in the oven, my house smelled so delicious I wanted to take the bread out prematurely and devour it based on smell alone. Baking bread teaches you delayed gratification rather than instant. Sure, it takes a few hours, but it is so worth it when you slice into that warm loaf and then butter and honey it up.
So if you like to bake bread, try the recipe! It you haven't ever baked bread before - give it a try! Try different kinds until you find one you like. This one is a definite winner for our family. Some of my goals for this year include getting into the habit of baking bread on a regular basis so we don't have to buy it from the store - this way I can control what I put in it as well. I also want to try doing some canning this year and we're going to give our garden another go now that we have had a year to see what grows well in our soil and what doesn't. Sometimes I feel like I was born in the wrong era. I would be totally happy stepping quite a way back from how far everything has come to just return to some simplicity.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Life Update
The excitement of the Ross household...where to begin?? OK, not really. We're fairly dull when it comes to details lately.
Tim started a side job today, has one lined up for afterward, another for after that and then received a call from his very first boss that taught him how to paint 6 years ago who wants him for some upcoming work as well. Praise the Lord, He is providing! There is also a very large job on hold. His bid was accepted by an older couple that wanted him to start this month when they left for Floria and re-do (paint, etc.) their entire home but then the woman's two sisters (who are both fighting cancer) took a horrible turn for the worse and everything has been delayed. So we wait on that while remembering them in our prayers.
I have been labeled as "high risk for preterm labor" as of my last prenatal appointment, which was last Monday. I will be 29 weeks tomorrow and my cervical prolapse returned the week before Christmas. I am not officially on bed rest but have to get off my feet whenever possible. I also get to wear this super attractive (total sarcasm there) belly support band that feels like a brace and supposedly helps to hold my belly/baby up a bit to relieve some of the pressure. I'm not enjoying it and I honestly don't know if it's helping at all, but I'll do what I have to in order to keep this baby in for at least another 8 weeks. Aaaagh! 8 weeks until I'm technically full-term!! So much to do and so little time...
Noah is a blast. Challenging at times, as I think any mother of a 4-year old would say, but such a joy. I cannot believe how fast he is growing up. He is a huge help to me right now when Tim is gone. He wants to do whatever he can and loves to help set the table, clear the table, "help" clean (he takes a baby wipe and cleans walls, cupboard doors and whatever else is at his height) and "parent" Ellie ("No, Ellie. Don't do that. Get down from there. Don't touch that. Be careful next to Mama's belly, etc. etc. etc.") At the moment, Tim and I are going back and forth with whether to proceed in putting him in kindergarten next year or doing a Young-5s/Pre-K program instead. In my thoughts, it was always, "You turn 5, you go to kindergarten." In Tim's eyes (that repeated kindergarten because there was no pre-k program) it would be more beneficial to hold a boy off a year and have him go through kindergarten an entire year at age 6 than age 5. Noah turns 5 right before the school year starts and, although we know he is academically smart enough and ready for kindergarten, his size is small for his age and he is a sensitive kid. I think in this matter I need to listen to Tim's opinion seriously because he is a boy (obviously) and has been there and knows the working of a man's world whereas I never will. So if he thinks it would be better to hold Noah off a year and put him in Young-5 then I respect that. It also helps that I talked to two of my friends who are teachers and got their opinions on it and they both agreed with Tim, bringing up how boys don't mature socially and emotionally as quickly as girls do, so even if they seem smart enough for kindergarten, it doesn't necessarily mean they're ready.
Ah, the decisions of parenting...
The boy loves maps, globes and things that look like the earth. I am learning a lot about geography from him actually...
He also loves sledding and all things outdoors-related. He is a mini-Tim in the making.
And Eleanor is...Eleanor. Actually, after a rough beginning and difficult time bonding with her (which is hard when you have mother/daughter bond expectations), I have lately found myself looking at her with the love-that-makes-you-want-to-burst. She is stubborn, strong-willed, temperamental, dramatic and wonderful. I have gone from wanting to give her away often to someone else to raise to now loving the moments I get to spend with her. Her favorite words are "cookie" and "hot cocoa" and I think she has a cookie-6th sense. Yesterday I broke a piece off a peanut butter cookie to nibble on it while I was in the kitchen and as I turned around to put it in my mouth, her little body popped up around the corner as I heard her voice saying "Cookie. Cookie." Now here is the thing: with Noah we have always been a bit stern when it comes to what kind of sweets, etc. to give him. We're loosening up a bit, but he still has never had pop or gum, his juice is on a limited intake and Halloween candy was limited to one piece a day. Like I said, we're starting to loosen up, so don't go policing me on being an unfair mom. I can at least say that he had a perfect dental appointment last week (besides the fact he'll need braces because he has no spaces between his baby teeth right now.) Anyways, now Ellie. All she has to do is look at me with her big blue eyes and sweetly say, "Cookie" and next thing I know I'm breaking off a piece of cookie to give to her. Which I then have to give Noah the other half or else I'm a bad, unfair mom. =) So my dear Eleanor Lee has finally become a joy and breath of laughter to my life. Actually, she probably always has been...it just took me a long time to realize it.
Mmmmm....Cookie....
Life isn't always perfect here, far from it in fact. Oftentimes I fall into bed at night feeling like I should kick myself for all the wrong things I did as a mother that day. Don't we all feel that way as parents at one time or another? There are times where the kids go to bed at night and I think the day has been a success if I made it through without giving any time-outs or spanking warnings or wanting to ship Ellie off to a boarding school for toddlers.
Tim and I haven't had any explosive fights in a long time, but it's not to say we don't have our disagreements, or that I don't envy him for the strong faith he holds when, as a woman, mine wants to falter when I think of finances. Thankfully, he pulls me back with Scripture and life reminders quickly so that I don't stay in that spot of weakness.
Life isn't perfect. We have walked through many valleys to be brought to the mountaintops we are experiencing in life. The view is good...
Tim started a side job today, has one lined up for afterward, another for after that and then received a call from his very first boss that taught him how to paint 6 years ago who wants him for some upcoming work as well. Praise the Lord, He is providing! There is also a very large job on hold. His bid was accepted by an older couple that wanted him to start this month when they left for Floria and re-do (paint, etc.) their entire home but then the woman's two sisters (who are both fighting cancer) took a horrible turn for the worse and everything has been delayed. So we wait on that while remembering them in our prayers.
I have been labeled as "high risk for preterm labor" as of my last prenatal appointment, which was last Monday. I will be 29 weeks tomorrow and my cervical prolapse returned the week before Christmas. I am not officially on bed rest but have to get off my feet whenever possible. I also get to wear this super attractive (total sarcasm there) belly support band that feels like a brace and supposedly helps to hold my belly/baby up a bit to relieve some of the pressure. I'm not enjoying it and I honestly don't know if it's helping at all, but I'll do what I have to in order to keep this baby in for at least another 8 weeks. Aaaagh! 8 weeks until I'm technically full-term!! So much to do and so little time...
Noah is a blast. Challenging at times, as I think any mother of a 4-year old would say, but such a joy. I cannot believe how fast he is growing up. He is a huge help to me right now when Tim is gone. He wants to do whatever he can and loves to help set the table, clear the table, "help" clean (he takes a baby wipe and cleans walls, cupboard doors and whatever else is at his height) and "parent" Ellie ("No, Ellie. Don't do that. Get down from there. Don't touch that. Be careful next to Mama's belly, etc. etc. etc.") At the moment, Tim and I are going back and forth with whether to proceed in putting him in kindergarten next year or doing a Young-5s/Pre-K program instead. In my thoughts, it was always, "You turn 5, you go to kindergarten." In Tim's eyes (that repeated kindergarten because there was no pre-k program) it would be more beneficial to hold a boy off a year and have him go through kindergarten an entire year at age 6 than age 5. Noah turns 5 right before the school year starts and, although we know he is academically smart enough and ready for kindergarten, his size is small for his age and he is a sensitive kid. I think in this matter I need to listen to Tim's opinion seriously because he is a boy (obviously) and has been there and knows the working of a man's world whereas I never will. So if he thinks it would be better to hold Noah off a year and put him in Young-5 then I respect that. It also helps that I talked to two of my friends who are teachers and got their opinions on it and they both agreed with Tim, bringing up how boys don't mature socially and emotionally as quickly as girls do, so even if they seem smart enough for kindergarten, it doesn't necessarily mean they're ready.
Ah, the decisions of parenting...
The boy loves maps, globes and things that look like the earth. I am learning a lot about geography from him actually...
He also loves sledding and all things outdoors-related. He is a mini-Tim in the making.And Eleanor is...Eleanor. Actually, after a rough beginning and difficult time bonding with her (which is hard when you have mother/daughter bond expectations), I have lately found myself looking at her with the love-that-makes-you-want-to-burst. She is stubborn, strong-willed, temperamental, dramatic and wonderful. I have gone from wanting to give her away often to someone else to raise to now loving the moments I get to spend with her. Her favorite words are "cookie" and "hot cocoa" and I think she has a cookie-6th sense. Yesterday I broke a piece off a peanut butter cookie to nibble on it while I was in the kitchen and as I turned around to put it in my mouth, her little body popped up around the corner as I heard her voice saying "Cookie. Cookie." Now here is the thing: with Noah we have always been a bit stern when it comes to what kind of sweets, etc. to give him. We're loosening up a bit, but he still has never had pop or gum, his juice is on a limited intake and Halloween candy was limited to one piece a day. Like I said, we're starting to loosen up, so don't go policing me on being an unfair mom. I can at least say that he had a perfect dental appointment last week (besides the fact he'll need braces because he has no spaces between his baby teeth right now.) Anyways, now Ellie. All she has to do is look at me with her big blue eyes and sweetly say, "Cookie" and next thing I know I'm breaking off a piece of cookie to give to her. Which I then have to give Noah the other half or else I'm a bad, unfair mom. =) So my dear Eleanor Lee has finally become a joy and breath of laughter to my life. Actually, she probably always has been...it just took me a long time to realize it.
Mmmmm....Cookie....Tim and I haven't had any explosive fights in a long time, but it's not to say we don't have our disagreements, or that I don't envy him for the strong faith he holds when, as a woman, mine wants to falter when I think of finances. Thankfully, he pulls me back with Scripture and life reminders quickly so that I don't stay in that spot of weakness.
Life isn't perfect. We have walked through many valleys to be brought to the mountaintops we are experiencing in life. The view is good...
Friday, January 01, 2010
Belated
Merry Christmas
and a Happy New Year!!
Here's a taste of what our Christmas was like:
and a Happy New Year!!
Here's a taste of what our Christmas was like:
8 kids under the age of 9 years old in the same house for 4-5 days...it was loud, rambunctious and full of laughter and joy.
There will be more to blog in coming days but for now I'm exhausted!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
"If you can!"
First of all, since this will be one of those theological/intellectual thought kind of post, we'll start with something cute. Using the tutu tutorial (try saying that without thinking of The Beatles' singing, "Goo goo gajoob" from "I Am the Walrus") I made Ellie a tutu the other night. 
It's her Christmas present but I had to try it on her the next morning to make sure the size was right. How awesome is finding projects that cost less than $10 to make and only takes an hour? Yeah, awesome. I'm telling you, you have to check out that website.
On to the meat of the post and I would love to hear thoughts afterward as I'm hearing this topic all over the place the lately.
We have been going through the Gospel of Mark in our Sunday School class. This past week we spent a lot of time and discussion on chapter 9, verses 14-29, finding the main focus to be on verses 22-24. Let's read them (first, some background - a man is seeking healing for his demon possessed son. The disciples have already tried to heal him and were unable to and so the man has asked Jesus.)
"(22)And it has often cast him into fire and into water, to destroy him. But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us." (23) And Jesus said to him, "'If you can!' All things are possible for one who believes." (24) Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, "I believe; help my unbelief!"
Thus brought on the discussion of belief and faith and how little we have of both. One man explained that there is a woman he works with, fairly "charismatic" if you want to describe her as such, who tells him about the things she prays for that actually come to be. He said he often leaves her office in tears because, whereas he has the "head knowledge" of the Bible and how his faith should be, she actually has the belief and confident faith.
My mom has changed her way of praying and I admire it and am starting to follow her example because...well, it makes sense when I think about it. She prays something specific, believing that God can do it. When my dad went in to have some x-rays done a couple months ago on his chest (he was having some breathing problems), she prayed that they would be nothing but dried-up blood clots (which he developed in early 2005.) She told me to ask people to pray, but to pray specifically for that and if they couldn't, then don't pray at all. That is how we prayed and that is what the doctor said they were.
I have been thinking, and have talked with the girls in my small group, about how often we give God an "out." We pray things like, "God, please (insert request) but if it's not Your will, then that's ok." I think we have developed a weak way of praying when we say things like that. Why wouldn't God want us to be healthy? Why wouldn't He want the best for us, especially when He has given us so many promises in the Bible and we should be praying them? Why do we have such a hard time asking for something and believing He - the Creator of the universe - can actually do it?
Think, or look, back at the passage in Mark. The boy's father says, "but if you can do anything." Do you treat God like that?
Look at Jesus' response, "'If you can!' All things are possible for one who believes."
So why don't we?
It would be really easy in my life to be discouraged, stressed out and anxious. I could live in a state of worry about Tim's job and where work will come from and how we will pay the bills. However, God has taught us a lesson time and again and that is that He is a faithful Provider. He has never let us fall. Never ever.
We have grown so much in the last 6-8 months, starting back in the Spring. As we studied the Bible and sought the teaching of people with strong faith who were living it out, we felt ourselves
be challenged. We started letting our chains be loosened, stepping out in faith that God was going to come through. We started giving more - and with cheerful hearts - and we saw His blessings. BUT, and this is a great BIG BUT, we do NOT give to others with the expectation for God to bless us in return for what we have done. Our motives are not selfish, but because we can't help but do it. When you feel the Spirit move you to do something, you do it! If you don't, you've missed out on a great opportunity to do something for the Lord. We were tired of missed opportunities due to our tight fists and unbelief.
We are on a journey meeting many who have been through similar situations and are also tired of living their old "Christian" lives, people sharing hearts and missions and who are eager to walk on a path God is calling them to. Our hearts are filled with anticipation and excitement and a bubbling over to tell others what He has done and how He is working and how He can do the same for them.
"All things are possible for one who believes."
Do you still try to control your life? Do you find yourself being put through situations again and again and again, much to your frustration? Do you really believe God can come through for you? Or do you talk one way and believe another?
I'm not saying it's easy to learn. But it's freeing when you get to the point when you, as the saying goes, "let go and let God."
"All things are possible for one who believes."
How much do you believe?
It's her Christmas present but I had to try it on her the next morning to make sure the size was right. How awesome is finding projects that cost less than $10 to make and only takes an hour? Yeah, awesome. I'm telling you, you have to check out that website.On to the meat of the post and I would love to hear thoughts afterward as I'm hearing this topic all over the place the lately.
We have been going through the Gospel of Mark in our Sunday School class. This past week we spent a lot of time and discussion on chapter 9, verses 14-29, finding the main focus to be on verses 22-24. Let's read them (first, some background - a man is seeking healing for his demon possessed son. The disciples have already tried to heal him and were unable to and so the man has asked Jesus.)
"(22)And it has often cast him into fire and into water, to destroy him. But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us." (23) And Jesus said to him, "'If you can!' All things are possible for one who believes." (24) Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, "I believe; help my unbelief!"
Thus brought on the discussion of belief and faith and how little we have of both. One man explained that there is a woman he works with, fairly "charismatic" if you want to describe her as such, who tells him about the things she prays for that actually come to be. He said he often leaves her office in tears because, whereas he has the "head knowledge" of the Bible and how his faith should be, she actually has the belief and confident faith.
My mom has changed her way of praying and I admire it and am starting to follow her example because...well, it makes sense when I think about it. She prays something specific, believing that God can do it. When my dad went in to have some x-rays done a couple months ago on his chest (he was having some breathing problems), she prayed that they would be nothing but dried-up blood clots (which he developed in early 2005.) She told me to ask people to pray, but to pray specifically for that and if they couldn't, then don't pray at all. That is how we prayed and that is what the doctor said they were.
I have been thinking, and have talked with the girls in my small group, about how often we give God an "out." We pray things like, "God, please (insert request) but if it's not Your will, then that's ok." I think we have developed a weak way of praying when we say things like that. Why wouldn't God want us to be healthy? Why wouldn't He want the best for us, especially when He has given us so many promises in the Bible and we should be praying them? Why do we have such a hard time asking for something and believing He - the Creator of the universe - can actually do it?
Think, or look, back at the passage in Mark. The boy's father says, "but if you can do anything." Do you treat God like that?
Look at Jesus' response, "'If you can!' All things are possible for one who believes."
So why don't we?
It would be really easy in my life to be discouraged, stressed out and anxious. I could live in a state of worry about Tim's job and where work will come from and how we will pay the bills. However, God has taught us a lesson time and again and that is that He is a faithful Provider. He has never let us fall. Never ever.
We have grown so much in the last 6-8 months, starting back in the Spring. As we studied the Bible and sought the teaching of people with strong faith who were living it out, we felt ourselves
be challenged. We started letting our chains be loosened, stepping out in faith that God was going to come through. We started giving more - and with cheerful hearts - and we saw His blessings. BUT, and this is a great BIG BUT, we do NOT give to others with the expectation for God to bless us in return for what we have done. Our motives are not selfish, but because we can't help but do it. When you feel the Spirit move you to do something, you do it! If you don't, you've missed out on a great opportunity to do something for the Lord. We were tired of missed opportunities due to our tight fists and unbelief.
We are on a journey meeting many who have been through similar situations and are also tired of living their old "Christian" lives, people sharing hearts and missions and who are eager to walk on a path God is calling them to. Our hearts are filled with anticipation and excitement and a bubbling over to tell others what He has done and how He is working and how He can do the same for them.
"All things are possible for one who believes."
Do you still try to control your life? Do you find yourself being put through situations again and again and again, much to your frustration? Do you really believe God can come through for you? Or do you talk one way and believe another?
I'm not saying it's easy to learn. But it's freeing when you get to the point when you, as the saying goes, "let go and let God."
"All things are possible for one who believes."
How much do you believe?
Monday, December 14, 2009
For the Crafters...
I stumbled across this website today while looking for tutorials on how to make a tutu myself. (I really want to make a pettiskirt for Ellie but the material I need can only be found online and I can't bring myself to pay $40-$60 to buy one at a store, so we're using a tutu for a back-up and I'll just make it very full.)
Anyways, the website is called Make It and Love It. I can't tell you how excited I am about this site. Not all the projects call for a sewing machine either, so don't think you need to be an experienced crafter to check out this site!
Let's just say that some of my original Christmas gift projects are being changed around to do some new ones I've found on the website instead...
Anyways, the website is called Make It and Love It. I can't tell you how excited I am about this site. Not all the projects call for a sewing machine either, so don't think you need to be an experienced crafter to check out this site!
Let's just say that some of my original Christmas gift projects are being changed around to do some new ones I've found on the website instead...
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Prayer
Friday evening Tim was at a "guys night" with some of the men from our church. I put the kids to bed and then settled down to debate what to watch for the night. Movie? TV show on Hulu? Just listen to some music or a sermon? I was catching up on blog reading when I received a call from Matt and Jeana letting me know that on the National Youth Workers Convention site they were going to be live streaming Francis Chan speaking at their Atlanta convention and they thought I might want to watch it. Of course! I called my friend, Renee, to let her and her husband know about it and then settled in. I wasn't sure what to expect since he was speaking to youth leaders/workers/volunteers, but I'm so glad I tuned in.
The whole message was fantastic, but at the end I was convicted in a big, fat way when he started to tell about how a few years ago he sat his staff down (and he said he was going to be doing it again soon) and asked them a question. He said he had a staff of about 60-70 people (by the way, Chan does not get paid for being a pastor. He told the elder board he did not feel right taking a salary. He also has a fund that all of his book royalties go into that help missionaries/Christians in another country that are being persecuted.)
Anyways, he told his staff that they were going to go around and every person had to answer the question on whether or not they were spending at least one hour in prayer each day. He said that if they answered "no" then he was going to remove them and find someone who does to take their place.
This was like a kick in the butt to me because the subject of prayer has been on my mind a lot lately. Not prayer itself, unfortunately, but thinking about it. I think that because my Ladies' Bible Study is going through "Discerning the Voice of God" by Priscilla Shirer - which deals a lot with prayer - I have been noticing how little I pray intentionally. There are the before-the-meal-prayers, before-bed-prayer, and the help-me!-prayers.
Prayer scares me. I don't know why. The thought of sitting down and talking with God for an extended amount of time kind of freaks me out. I worry about what to say, am I going to pray the correct way? Is there a right or wrong way to pray? Things like that. However, I felt that God is speaking to me through Shirer and Chan so I had better listen.
So this week I have been trying some new things based on Scripture. First of all, during the time I was praying yesterday, I felt like God was bringing Psalm 97 into my head. So I read it along with the next 3 chapters, through Psalm 100. Many verses stood out to me, but regarding ways to pray, Psalm 100:2b jumped out:
"Come into his presence with singing!"
Hmmmm.
I also remembered something we had talked about in Bible Study along with my verse I picked to memorize for that week:
"Be not rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be hasty to utter a word before God, for God is in heaven and you are on earth. Therefore let your words be few." -Ecclesiastes 5:2
We talked about how when we come before the Lord (and there are numerous verses that talk about this) we need to pretty much be silent. We are so quick to jump in with our requests and miseries. Not that these are not important to God, but do you love when your children come before you complaining all the time or talking about what they need or want in their lives?
So this is what I tried today that I think I may end up using for my prayer time, although I realize it can and should change based on the day and what is going on in life: I first listened and sang along with some songs from the worship CD: "Any Given Day." I like this CD because it's very passionate and focused. After coming into His presence with some joyful "noise" (since I don't sing well) I just sat quietly for awhile.
Wow, hard.
When you can hear the dryer in the laundry room, the heat kicking on through the vents, the vehicles driving by outside...you realize it's hard to surround yourself with silence. It really is an exercise to train yourself to block out noise. Our Bible study teacher had also recommended keeping some paper and a pen by you, and when a thought pops into your head and you feel you're going to be distracted, write it down and then forget about it until later. Like today I thought, "Oh! I have to remember to pick up___________before tomorrow." Wrote it down and pushed it aside. Side note: this time of prayer was obviously being done while the kids were napping or else this whole moments of silence thing would be a joke.
After that I followed the model we learned in youth group growing up: ACTS
Adoration
Confession
Thanksgiving
Supplication/Intercession
I enjoyed my time and felt like it all became more natural after I got over the thought that it's hard to find things to say to God.
Anyways, how much time would you say you spend in prayer a day/week/month and what are ways that you pray or what are your thoughts on prayer? I'm curious!
The whole message was fantastic, but at the end I was convicted in a big, fat way when he started to tell about how a few years ago he sat his staff down (and he said he was going to be doing it again soon) and asked them a question. He said he had a staff of about 60-70 people (by the way, Chan does not get paid for being a pastor. He told the elder board he did not feel right taking a salary. He also has a fund that all of his book royalties go into that help missionaries/Christians in another country that are being persecuted.)
Anyways, he told his staff that they were going to go around and every person had to answer the question on whether or not they were spending at least one hour in prayer each day. He said that if they answered "no" then he was going to remove them and find someone who does to take their place.
This was like a kick in the butt to me because the subject of prayer has been on my mind a lot lately. Not prayer itself, unfortunately, but thinking about it. I think that because my Ladies' Bible Study is going through "Discerning the Voice of God" by Priscilla Shirer - which deals a lot with prayer - I have been noticing how little I pray intentionally. There are the before-the-meal-prayers, before-bed-prayer, and the help-me!-prayers.
Prayer scares me. I don't know why. The thought of sitting down and talking with God for an extended amount of time kind of freaks me out. I worry about what to say, am I going to pray the correct way? Is there a right or wrong way to pray? Things like that. However, I felt that God is speaking to me through Shirer and Chan so I had better listen.
So this week I have been trying some new things based on Scripture. First of all, during the time I was praying yesterday, I felt like God was bringing Psalm 97 into my head. So I read it along with the next 3 chapters, through Psalm 100. Many verses stood out to me, but regarding ways to pray, Psalm 100:2b jumped out:
"Come into his presence with singing!"
Hmmmm.
I also remembered something we had talked about in Bible Study along with my verse I picked to memorize for that week:
"Be not rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be hasty to utter a word before God, for God is in heaven and you are on earth. Therefore let your words be few." -Ecclesiastes 5:2
We talked about how when we come before the Lord (and there are numerous verses that talk about this) we need to pretty much be silent. We are so quick to jump in with our requests and miseries. Not that these are not important to God, but do you love when your children come before you complaining all the time or talking about what they need or want in their lives?
So this is what I tried today that I think I may end up using for my prayer time, although I realize it can and should change based on the day and what is going on in life: I first listened and sang along with some songs from the worship CD: "Any Given Day." I like this CD because it's very passionate and focused. After coming into His presence with some joyful "noise" (since I don't sing well) I just sat quietly for awhile.
Wow, hard.
When you can hear the dryer in the laundry room, the heat kicking on through the vents, the vehicles driving by outside...you realize it's hard to surround yourself with silence. It really is an exercise to train yourself to block out noise. Our Bible study teacher had also recommended keeping some paper and a pen by you, and when a thought pops into your head and you feel you're going to be distracted, write it down and then forget about it until later. Like today I thought, "Oh! I have to remember to pick up___________before tomorrow." Wrote it down and pushed it aside. Side note: this time of prayer was obviously being done while the kids were napping or else this whole moments of silence thing would be a joke.
After that I followed the model we learned in youth group growing up: ACTS
Adoration
Confession
Thanksgiving
Supplication/Intercession
I enjoyed my time and felt like it all became more natural after I got over the thought that it's hard to find things to say to God.
Anyways, how much time would you say you spend in prayer a day/week/month and what are ways that you pray or what are your thoughts on prayer? I'm curious!
Thursday, November 19, 2009
What Not To Say
You've probably heard it said, thought it yourself, or maybe even said it yourself.
If you've miscarried or lost a child at some point early on, you may have even had it said to you about your situation. We had it happen more frequently than I wish after our miscarriage.
It's the infamous phrase:
"Well, it's probably better that you lost the baby when you did. It might have had conditions/diseases/special needs/handicaps, etc."
Some people even go so far as to tack on, "God was saving him/her from a life of problems and hardship."
This kind of thinking makes me furious. It is basically implying that anyone that does have a handicap or medical disability would be better off dead.
It's like saying that kids like
Brayden
or
Kelsi
or
Waverly and Oliver
live lives of misery and unhappiness. That they shouldn't even be here because they are a burden to their families and society.
It's like saying that those of us who have lost a child in some form would rather have a healthy and beautiful baby than any baby at all.
Wrong.
I think it is funny how, after a 20 week utrasound, the parents receive two questions:
"Did you find out the gender?"
and
"Is it healthy?"
I'll be honest, we have thanked God after each appointment when we hear that yes, everything with our baby looks good. However, we also realize that ultrasounds don't pick up all conditions and that things can be missed. If we found ourselves in a situation where after one of our children were born, it was discovered that something was wrong, do you think we would be holding him or her and thinking,
"Oh, shoot. I wish I would have miscarried this baby."
No! We would do all we could to love on that baby and ask God for guidance as we walk through an unexpected journey.
Those of you reading this may have never said anything like this, but if you have - or if you've even thought it - just take the time to really think about the phrase. In an effort and attempt to try to say something comforting in an awkward situation, you're actually sticking your foot in your mouth and causing more hurt in the person you're talking to.
Please pray for the children I listed above as Brayden, a family member of our's, undergoes what seems like constant testing to try to figure out exactly what is wrong so they can figure out how to treat it. Pray for Kelsi as she has a major mid-face surgery to help her breathe, and due to her condition an infection following could be deadly. Pray for Waverly and Oliver as they and their family walk through the most agressive form of Sanfilippo knowing that, because there is no treatment or cure, they will be the parents who have to bury both their children who are so young right now.
Oh, God, help us to have Your heart for others.
If you've miscarried or lost a child at some point early on, you may have even had it said to you about your situation. We had it happen more frequently than I wish after our miscarriage.
It's the infamous phrase:
"Well, it's probably better that you lost the baby when you did. It might have had conditions/diseases/special needs/handicaps, etc."
Some people even go so far as to tack on, "God was saving him/her from a life of problems and hardship."
This kind of thinking makes me furious. It is basically implying that anyone that does have a handicap or medical disability would be better off dead.
It's like saying that kids like
Brayden
or
Kelsi
or
Waverly and Oliver
live lives of misery and unhappiness. That they shouldn't even be here because they are a burden to their families and society.
It's like saying that those of us who have lost a child in some form would rather have a healthy and beautiful baby than any baby at all.
Wrong.
I think it is funny how, after a 20 week utrasound, the parents receive two questions:
"Did you find out the gender?"
and
"Is it healthy?"
I'll be honest, we have thanked God after each appointment when we hear that yes, everything with our baby looks good. However, we also realize that ultrasounds don't pick up all conditions and that things can be missed. If we found ourselves in a situation where after one of our children were born, it was discovered that something was wrong, do you think we would be holding him or her and thinking,
"Oh, shoot. I wish I would have miscarried this baby."
No! We would do all we could to love on that baby and ask God for guidance as we walk through an unexpected journey.
Those of you reading this may have never said anything like this, but if you have - or if you've even thought it - just take the time to really think about the phrase. In an effort and attempt to try to say something comforting in an awkward situation, you're actually sticking your foot in your mouth and causing more hurt in the person you're talking to.
Please pray for the children I listed above as Brayden, a family member of our's, undergoes what seems like constant testing to try to figure out exactly what is wrong so they can figure out how to treat it. Pray for Kelsi as she has a major mid-face surgery to help her breathe, and due to her condition an infection following could be deadly. Pray for Waverly and Oliver as they and their family walk through the most agressive form of Sanfilippo knowing that, because there is no treatment or cure, they will be the parents who have to bury both their children who are so young right now.
Oh, God, help us to have Your heart for others.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Random Thoughts and Updates and Pictures
Hello, there.
Blogging for me has been few and far between. I'm ok with that. Changing seasons, things to do, tackling projects, etc. Anyways, here we go with an update, pictures and some random thoughts on this mind.
*Baby update - Went in Monday for the ultrasound (I'm 20 weeks today) and everything is checking out great. We thought we were going to have to leave not knowing the gender, which, surprisingly, I was having an easier time coping with than Tim. The "area" was under my belly button and so all we could see was a black spot for awhile where there should have been some kind of parts going on - male or female. Out of the blue the baby moved, actually, it probably was from the technician pressing so hard all over the place and annoying him. That's right, I said HIM - we are expecting a baby boy...an active one at that. He did not stop moving the whole time we were peeking in at him. Hiccups, yawns, arms waving about and kicking feet. I hope he gets it out of his system now so he can come out calm for a bit. Anyways, yes - we have a first name picked out (middle name is still being decided by Tim) and yes, we are the kind of people who share it, so - our boy is going to be named Caleb. (Sorry, Lacey - we're seriously NOT stealing your son's name!) We picked Caleb for a couple different reasons: (a) It's pretty much the only boy name we can agree on and (b) We both think the Caleb of the Bible was a strong and godly man; loyal and obedient, and we would love for our son to have him as his namesake. Over the summer I was listening to "Revive Our Hearts" and Nancy Leigh DeMoss (not sure if I spelled that right) was doing a study on the life of Joshua and one of the days was about Caleb. It is one of my favorite shows I've heard of her's and has stuck with me since. You can read about Caleb in chapters 13 and 14 in the book of Numbers.
*Played at the GR Children's Museum last week with the Nashes. We went to Yesterdog beforehand for dinner and later that night I kept wondering to myself, "What is it about Yesterdog that makes it so awesome? The dive atmosphere? The graffiti on the walls and tables and duct tape holding together parts of the seats? The soggy hot dog buns? The lack of plates? The mix of classic rock and alternative '90s music? The way you feel like you can't get your hands clean enough after you leave?" When I was thinking over all these things, all I can come up with it is that's it's a combination of all the above. The place sounds horrid when you break up all the characteristics and yet when it's all combined, it's addictive. And delicious. Tim and I think Guy Fieri should feature it on "Diners, Dives and Drive-ins." Grand Rapids' gem, right? We love it along with probably everyone else in West Michigan.
Anyways, the Children's Museum was a blast. My kids could not get enough of it. My parents are getting the kids a family membership for Christmas this year so we'll be able to go as much as we want. It is so fun.
*We've been doing projects around the house. We made a toddler bed for Ellie. We wanted to get her out of her crib and get it put away with lots of time before we have to get it out again. She has a jealous nature to her and we can see her being the type to crawl into the crib and try to take it back if it's still fresh in her mind. Tim and I (and Noah, as a "helper") made the bed and we love the way it turned out. So cheap, too. It's great. We start the next project tonight: painting the dining room. I want to paint the walls a tan color (I need a break from the green that's on there now and am in need of a neutral.) Tim said that was fine IF he could paint the ceiling red. So we'll see how this is going to turn out. I will admit, though, I trust his taste in colors completely and when it comes to paint projects, he has more knowledge than me so I can't always see the vision of what he is seeing. I'm trusting him on this one...
*The knitting needles and crochet hooks have found their way out of the basket and into my hands as the weather turns colder. I made Ellie a winter hat, Noah a hat, have one in my queue at Ravelry for myself and have two requests for hats like Ellie's from some other women. I have to say, every year I forget how much I enjoy crocheting. You can turn out a project so much faster than knitting.
*I found a website I am very excited about. It's for once a month freezer cooking and is called Once a Month Mom. I'm getting more into the freezer cooking/baking. What a great way to save money and time!
*A family from church invited us over to their house Saturday night for dinner. They have four girls - the oldest is five years. Can you imagine? We enjoyed getting to know them and had some great discussion. Another family invited us over Monday night. They have three kids and just found out they are expecting #4. Their oldest, Jack, is the same age as Noah and they play together great. Outside of preschool, Noah doesn't have any boys his age to play with so he loved being at a house with a friend his age that plays the same way he does. They also have a daughter just three months younger than Ellie and another girl who is three years old, so Ellie had fun playing with their baby dolls and girlie toys. Tim and I clicked really quickly with the parents and we ended up staying way later than we anticipated. Thankfully, we are able to put our kids to bed easily at other people's houses and they must have been so tired from playing that they were almost instantly asleep. We're enjoying getting to know people from the church and the ones we just spent time with are less interested in playing games and more interested in conversation and getting to know people on an intimate level so it leads to good discussion on what God is teaching everyone.
*We received some great news that some very good friends of our's from college may be moving back to Michigan in the next year if the husband gets the job he's applying for (please, God!!) It's looking really positive so far. It wouldn't be West Michigan, but they would be only about 2 hours away as opposed to 5, so we'll take it!
*I'm very much excited for the holidays this year. We're simplifying everything in order to focus more on what it's really about and not having the pressure of Christmas shopping and fighting the crowds in the stores is so freeing. Tim and I do have to go on Saturday and get the gifts for the Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes we're putting together, but we're planning on doing that without kids so we can get through faster and be able to focus. Plus, that one is just fun because you're providing children with something they won't be getting otherwise. I know that my kids will get gifts from family members and even the nieces and nephews we buy for will also be getting lots of other gifts as well from other family, but I don't think the shoebox kids will so it's just as fun for us to provide some fun for them. We'll have Noah and Ellie help us assemble and wrap the boxes when we get home to involve them in the experience.
*I'm looking forward to getting out my "2009 Goals" list out and seeing what I actually accomplished and then making one for 2010. My friend, Bekah, recently wrote a blog post about making a list of 30 things to do before she turns 30. She found it on someone else's blog and I think I might do it as well. That means I should start thinking because I only have about 13 months to go.
And if you're wondering how big the belly is getting, then here is a little update on that. I actually feel smaller than my other pregnancies so far, although I felt I started getting bigger much sooner.
This is actually me at 6 months pregnant with Noah (this is actually the first picture we took of me pregnant with him. Is that sad?)
This is me pregnant at 5 1/2 months with Ellie. I'm not sure why this writing is funky right now.
This is me at the children's museum last week at 5 months pregnant. Yes, the sweater is the same. I'm limited right now on the clothing options when it comes to maternity. And it's so stinkin' comfy, too.
Blogging for me has been few and far between. I'm ok with that. Changing seasons, things to do, tackling projects, etc. Anyways, here we go with an update, pictures and some random thoughts on this mind.
*Baby update - Went in Monday for the ultrasound (I'm 20 weeks today) and everything is checking out great. We thought we were going to have to leave not knowing the gender, which, surprisingly, I was having an easier time coping with than Tim. The "area" was under my belly button and so all we could see was a black spot for awhile where there should have been some kind of parts going on - male or female. Out of the blue the baby moved, actually, it probably was from the technician pressing so hard all over the place and annoying him. That's right, I said HIM - we are expecting a baby boy...an active one at that. He did not stop moving the whole time we were peeking in at him. Hiccups, yawns, arms waving about and kicking feet. I hope he gets it out of his system now so he can come out calm for a bit. Anyways, yes - we have a first name picked out (middle name is still being decided by Tim) and yes, we are the kind of people who share it, so - our boy is going to be named Caleb. (Sorry, Lacey - we're seriously NOT stealing your son's name!) We picked Caleb for a couple different reasons: (a) It's pretty much the only boy name we can agree on and (b) We both think the Caleb of the Bible was a strong and godly man; loyal and obedient, and we would love for our son to have him as his namesake. Over the summer I was listening to "Revive Our Hearts" and Nancy Leigh DeMoss (not sure if I spelled that right) was doing a study on the life of Joshua and one of the days was about Caleb. It is one of my favorite shows I've heard of her's and has stuck with me since. You can read about Caleb in chapters 13 and 14 in the book of Numbers.
*Played at the GR Children's Museum last week with the Nashes. We went to Yesterdog beforehand for dinner and later that night I kept wondering to myself, "What is it about Yesterdog that makes it so awesome? The dive atmosphere? The graffiti on the walls and tables and duct tape holding together parts of the seats? The soggy hot dog buns? The lack of plates? The mix of classic rock and alternative '90s music? The way you feel like you can't get your hands clean enough after you leave?" When I was thinking over all these things, all I can come up with it is that's it's a combination of all the above. The place sounds horrid when you break up all the characteristics and yet when it's all combined, it's addictive. And delicious. Tim and I think Guy Fieri should feature it on "Diners, Dives and Drive-ins." Grand Rapids' gem, right? We love it along with probably everyone else in West Michigan.
Anyways, the Children's Museum was a blast. My kids could not get enough of it. My parents are getting the kids a family membership for Christmas this year so we'll be able to go as much as we want. It is so fun.
*We've been doing projects around the house. We made a toddler bed for Ellie. We wanted to get her out of her crib and get it put away with lots of time before we have to get it out again. She has a jealous nature to her and we can see her being the type to crawl into the crib and try to take it back if it's still fresh in her mind. Tim and I (and Noah, as a "helper") made the bed and we love the way it turned out. So cheap, too. It's great. We start the next project tonight: painting the dining room. I want to paint the walls a tan color (I need a break from the green that's on there now and am in need of a neutral.) Tim said that was fine IF he could paint the ceiling red. So we'll see how this is going to turn out. I will admit, though, I trust his taste in colors completely and when it comes to paint projects, he has more knowledge than me so I can't always see the vision of what he is seeing. I'm trusting him on this one...
*The knitting needles and crochet hooks have found their way out of the basket and into my hands as the weather turns colder. I made Ellie a winter hat, Noah a hat, have one in my queue at Ravelry for myself and have two requests for hats like Ellie's from some other women. I have to say, every year I forget how much I enjoy crocheting. You can turn out a project so much faster than knitting.
*I found a website I am very excited about. It's for once a month freezer cooking and is called Once a Month Mom. I'm getting more into the freezer cooking/baking. What a great way to save money and time!
*A family from church invited us over to their house Saturday night for dinner. They have four girls - the oldest is five years. Can you imagine? We enjoyed getting to know them and had some great discussion. Another family invited us over Monday night. They have three kids and just found out they are expecting #4. Their oldest, Jack, is the same age as Noah and they play together great. Outside of preschool, Noah doesn't have any boys his age to play with so he loved being at a house with a friend his age that plays the same way he does. They also have a daughter just three months younger than Ellie and another girl who is three years old, so Ellie had fun playing with their baby dolls and girlie toys. Tim and I clicked really quickly with the parents and we ended up staying way later than we anticipated. Thankfully, we are able to put our kids to bed easily at other people's houses and they must have been so tired from playing that they were almost instantly asleep. We're enjoying getting to know people from the church and the ones we just spent time with are less interested in playing games and more interested in conversation and getting to know people on an intimate level so it leads to good discussion on what God is teaching everyone.
*We received some great news that some very good friends of our's from college may be moving back to Michigan in the next year if the husband gets the job he's applying for (please, God!!) It's looking really positive so far. It wouldn't be West Michigan, but they would be only about 2 hours away as opposed to 5, so we'll take it!
*I'm very much excited for the holidays this year. We're simplifying everything in order to focus more on what it's really about and not having the pressure of Christmas shopping and fighting the crowds in the stores is so freeing. Tim and I do have to go on Saturday and get the gifts for the Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes we're putting together, but we're planning on doing that without kids so we can get through faster and be able to focus. Plus, that one is just fun because you're providing children with something they won't be getting otherwise. I know that my kids will get gifts from family members and even the nieces and nephews we buy for will also be getting lots of other gifts as well from other family, but I don't think the shoebox kids will so it's just as fun for us to provide some fun for them. We'll have Noah and Ellie help us assemble and wrap the boxes when we get home to involve them in the experience.
*I'm looking forward to getting out my "2009 Goals" list out and seeing what I actually accomplished and then making one for 2010. My friend, Bekah, recently wrote a blog post about making a list of 30 things to do before she turns 30. She found it on someone else's blog and I think I might do it as well. That means I should start thinking because I only have about 13 months to go.
And if you're wondering how big the belly is getting, then here is a little update on that. I actually feel smaller than my other pregnancies so far, although I felt I started getting bigger much sooner.
This is actually me at 6 months pregnant with Noah (this is actually the first picture we took of me pregnant with him. Is that sad?)
This is me pregnant at 5 1/2 months with Ellie. I'm not sure why this writing is funky right now.
This is me at the children's museum last week at 5 months pregnant. Yes, the sweater is the same. I'm limited right now on the clothing options when it comes to maternity. And it's so stinkin' comfy, too.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Fall Family Photos
We are blessed to have many friends who are photographers, both professional, and those who do it for fun because they have a good eye and a good camera. Our friend, Jeana, took some family pictures for us on an afternoon this week when we actually had a break from the rain. Here are some of our favorites. Thanks a ton, Jeana!
As any family with young children knows, it's hard to get a picture with everyone looking at the camera. In this picture, Noah demonstrates this point as he was gazing longingly at the playground equipment.
My little peanut.
My big pumpkin.
Mi amor, who has always had an obsession with putting flowers behind my ears. This day I received a leaf.
Honestly, it's weird for me to look at pictures and realize she's my daugher since she looks everything the miniature of her dad but nothing like me. I feel like I look at pictures of the two of us and say, "Oh, right. She's mine."
My two favorite guys. 
We had not seen the Nashes in a long time and Noah was so excited to get to play with Emma. They were collecting leaves in this basket Jeana brought along and then both picked it up to carry it over to a different playground. The picture was completely candid - nobody told them what to do. It just turned out to be one of those great moments.
As any family with young children knows, it's hard to get a picture with everyone looking at the camera. In this picture, Noah demonstrates this point as he was gazing longingly at the playground equipment.
My little peanut.
My big pumpkin.
Mi amor, who has always had an obsession with putting flowers behind my ears. This day I received a leaf.
Honestly, it's weird for me to look at pictures and realize she's my daugher since she looks everything the miniature of her dad but nothing like me. I feel like I look at pictures of the two of us and say, "Oh, right. She's mine."
My two favorite guys. We had not seen the Nashes in a long time and Noah was so excited to get to play with Emma. They were collecting leaves in this basket Jeana brought along and then both picked it up to carry it over to a different playground. The picture was completely candid - nobody told them what to do. It just turned out to be one of those great moments.Tuesday, October 20, 2009
A God Thing (some encouragement for the day)
The day before I left for the Hearts at Home conference, our blue van was in the shop to have some rattling noises checked out as well as have our very back door handle rigged back on since it was rusting off. The shop called to tell us that we had two problems going on. The first, which needed to be fixed immediately, was to get a new wheel bearing. They said it's a safety issue because if the bearing goes, the tire goes, too, right off the van. This would be about $175 to fix. The second problem, they said, did not have to be fixed immediately but in the very near future. This has something to do with our struts (or something like that) and would cost $X.
I told Tim that I didn't have a problem with the bearing but could we wait on the more expensive problem. We called around and found out that it is actually a great price to get it fixed for. The thing is that we're coming into "slow season" for Tim and he is possibly without work until sometime in November or December. I can already feel myself tightening down the budget and my fist closing around our money. We debated back and forth on it and finally he agreed to wait.
The night I returned home from the conference, Tim brought up the subject again. He said he felt like we needed to tithe the $X (the amount of repair) and trust that God was going to provide for the van to be fixed. He said he could tell that I was already trying to control the situation instead of trusting. Oh, to be reminded of my faults... He said that if we received a check later somehow for $X then it was to go to the van repair.
So the next morning we tithed the money I was trying to grasp. Later I told Tim that it was actually much easier for me to write a check for that amount to go to ministry than it was to think about writing it for a van that isn't going to last. We left that afternoon for Ohio where we have spent the past two weeks. The kids and I returned home on Saturday because I had meetings I had to be at on Sunday and Tim comes home today (yea!)
Last night I was checking my email and had one from an organization called Giving Anonymously. It said that someone wanted to send us a gift of money and could I verify my address so they could get it to us. It encouraged me to check out their website to make sure it wasn't a fraud. Believe me, it was the first thing I did because I was so convinced it was a scam. Giving Anonymously has been featured on news programs (popular well-known ones), radio programs, newpaper reports, etc. It checked out and I think it's a pretty awesome concept. I would definitely think about using it in the future to bless someone and if you're looking for a way to give completely anonymously, you should check it out. One of the things I think is awesome about this is that when you get the check, there is a number to call and leave a voicemail so that you can thank the giver for their gift. This is nice for those of us who have been on the receving end and wish that we could somehow thank whoever blessed us.
I emailed back to confirm my address and to ask, out of curiousity, how much the check was for. Tim and I have not told anyone about the cost of this car repair; I don't even know if we shared with more than my mom (who is not behind this) the fact we even needed a repair at all.
I think it is important that in life we listen to when God is telling us to do something. Tim obviously felt that God was speaking to him to release the money and that I needed to release my fear and control. I felt, through the peace God gave me in tithing, that He was going to take care of us even while I was writing a check that could cover my grocery, electric, gas and water bills for the month. Whether God is telling you to give up a certain amount of money, or to give up a job you may be miserable in but depend on to pay your bills, or to just give up your need to control every little thing and become anxious about every thing in life...it's crucial to listen to Him. He sees the big picture and what we don't.
So, anyways, this morning I received an email back with the amount of the check we're to expect:
$X. (The exact amount of the repair.)
I told Tim that I didn't have a problem with the bearing but could we wait on the more expensive problem. We called around and found out that it is actually a great price to get it fixed for. The thing is that we're coming into "slow season" for Tim and he is possibly without work until sometime in November or December. I can already feel myself tightening down the budget and my fist closing around our money. We debated back and forth on it and finally he agreed to wait.
The night I returned home from the conference, Tim brought up the subject again. He said he felt like we needed to tithe the $X (the amount of repair) and trust that God was going to provide for the van to be fixed. He said he could tell that I was already trying to control the situation instead of trusting. Oh, to be reminded of my faults... He said that if we received a check later somehow for $X then it was to go to the van repair.
So the next morning we tithed the money I was trying to grasp. Later I told Tim that it was actually much easier for me to write a check for that amount to go to ministry than it was to think about writing it for a van that isn't going to last. We left that afternoon for Ohio where we have spent the past two weeks. The kids and I returned home on Saturday because I had meetings I had to be at on Sunday and Tim comes home today (yea!)
Last night I was checking my email and had one from an organization called Giving Anonymously. It said that someone wanted to send us a gift of money and could I verify my address so they could get it to us. It encouraged me to check out their website to make sure it wasn't a fraud. Believe me, it was the first thing I did because I was so convinced it was a scam. Giving Anonymously has been featured on news programs (popular well-known ones), radio programs, newpaper reports, etc. It checked out and I think it's a pretty awesome concept. I would definitely think about using it in the future to bless someone and if you're looking for a way to give completely anonymously, you should check it out. One of the things I think is awesome about this is that when you get the check, there is a number to call and leave a voicemail so that you can thank the giver for their gift. This is nice for those of us who have been on the receving end and wish that we could somehow thank whoever blessed us.
I emailed back to confirm my address and to ask, out of curiousity, how much the check was for. Tim and I have not told anyone about the cost of this car repair; I don't even know if we shared with more than my mom (who is not behind this) the fact we even needed a repair at all.
I think it is important that in life we listen to when God is telling us to do something. Tim obviously felt that God was speaking to him to release the money and that I needed to release my fear and control. I felt, through the peace God gave me in tithing, that He was going to take care of us even while I was writing a check that could cover my grocery, electric, gas and water bills for the month. Whether God is telling you to give up a certain amount of money, or to give up a job you may be miserable in but depend on to pay your bills, or to just give up your need to control every little thing and become anxious about every thing in life...it's crucial to listen to Him. He sees the big picture and what we don't.
So, anyways, this morning I received an email back with the amount of the check we're to expect:
$X. (The exact amount of the repair.)
Saturday, October 10, 2009
When September Ends and Why It's Important To Do Your Kegels...
I'm not a Green Day fan, but their song title "Wake Me Up When September Ends" was appropriate for me last month.
September is usually an interesting month anyways. Kids are heading back to school. The seasons start changing (maybe - in Michigan you never really know what it will be like.) It kind of feels like a time of beginnings with everything starting up again. It is also an emotional month for me.
This past September was especially exhausting. Noah started 4-year old kindergarten. I struggled with morning sickness, had a break at the end of the month and then Round 2 of morning sickness started up a week ago. I've never had that kind of experience before. With Noah my nausea stopped at 12 weeks exactly. Eleanor caused me to throw up every morning until I was 16 weeks along. With this one I never know if I'm going to throw up or not and two weeks ago I thought I was in the clear with it. What is going on inside that womb?
It was a rough month emotionally. A friend of mine miscarried September 12th at 14 weeks along. The next day was my sister and brother-in-law's 6th wedding anniversary, their daughter's 3rd birthday party and the first anniversary of their own miscarriage. Three days later on the 16th was the 5th anniversary of my miscarriage which was really hard for me this year, maybe because of everything else going on around me.
That week I also received word that a friend from college had thyroid cancer and a friend from our old church had a brain tumor (non-cancerous, thank God.) They both had surgeries the following week, my friend, Moriah, having her thyroid removed on Tuesday and Virginia having the tumor removed Thursday. Both went well, praise God.
The Ladies Bible Study at our church started the same week of the surgeries on that Wednesday. I am so thankful for it. I haven't been in one since the Moms Group a friend invited me to at her church when we lived in Grand Rapids. I was telling Tim the night before that I wonder if men really understand why we women need these kinds of things. He said he understood but probably only because he has seen firsthand the positive effect it has had on me. In GR, I joined it a few months after Noah was born and I was fighting postpartum unhappiness because new motherhood was NOT what I thought it would be. This new (to me) Bible Study is proving to be something that will challenge me, encourage me, hold me accountable, and love me. To be in a group of other women - with ages spanning those who are on their first baby to those who have great-grandchildren - is what every woman should have in her life. It is led by our pastor's wife and she is a strong, wise woman who isn't afraid to speak it like it is in the Bible. No sugar-coated Truth coming from her mouth. She is Spirit-filled and you can tell she spends a lot of time in prayer and in the Word.
The last weekend of the month was...eventful? You could say. Tim had spent the week working 12-14 hour days and had to work over the weekend as well so he was not home. The kids were bathed and just kind of hanging out playing and watching a movie while I cleaned up. I had spent the day cleaning the house, grocery shopping, etc. because I finally had my first burst of energy since entering my second trimester.
*If you are a man reading this - you may want to stop now. Just a warning.*
I went to the bathroom and while wiping thought something felt a little...wrong...down there. Out of curiousity, I put my hand down to feel a little more and there was definitely something hard coming out from between my legs. Quickly I washed my hands and ran upstairs, where I squatted over a mirror to see what was going on. I screamed after seeing something protruding between my legs.
I called Tim and told him I thought I might possibly be miscarrying. He asked if I was bleeding. No. Was I cramping? No. But there is definitely something coming out from a place only babies travel out of.
I then called my midwife/doctor's office, which was of course closed and wrote down the contact number for urgent questions for the on-call doctor. I called her, left a message with the nurse, and the doctor called me back soon after. She asked me what was wrong. The following is our conversation, not word-for-word, but you'll get the gist of it:
Me: I believe I am either miscarrying or delivering an alien baby.
Dr: I'm pretty sure you're not delivering an alien baby. Are you bleeding, cramping, in pain?
Me: No. What is going on? I have something coming out of me!
Dr: Can you describe it?
Me: Well, I guess it's kind of round, muscle-y looking maybe? Is the baby ok? Am I ok?
Dr: Well, it sounds like something that happens occasionally. Do you have kids already? Were they vaginal births?
Me: Yes, two of them.
Dr: Most likely - and this is not really common, but it's not uncommon either - your vaginal walls are caving in.
Silence.
Me: What?!
Dr: Talk to your doctor about it the next time you go in. There is no harm to you or the baby. Any other questions?
Me: Um, no, thanks. Bye.
Are there any other questions?! Yes! Like, why have I never heard of this before? Is my vagina always going to be falling out? When I joke around about all the pressure down there while I'm pregnant and say, "Oh, it feels like my crotch is falling out" I didn't really mean it literally!
My friend, Carrie, who was in town for the night came over shortly after to visit. She is a nurse and has worked the labor/delivery ward before. When I told her about it, she just stared at me and said, "Annie, I have never heard of that before."
Great.
So after she left and Tim was still not home yet, I did the next thing any curious and confused woman with no answers does. I googled, "mass protruding from between legs during pregnancy." That is when I came across multiple websites about uterine prolapse, which basically means the uterus is falling out. I should have stopped reading but instead was filled with the information of bedrest, preterm delivery, and hysterectomies being the only treatment for Stage 4 uterine prolapse, which, obviously, I had to have based on the fact stuff was coming out of me.
I went to bed unsettled and woke up with nothing coming out from between my legs anymore. Whew. I called my mom - which one should never really do before having concrete information about something - and told her my theory to which she of course freaked out. She already knew about uterine prolapse because my great-grandmother had it and was contantly having to go into the doctor in her old age to have her uterus put back in after it fell out. Oh, great. Not what I wanted to hear.
The next morning I called the office and got to meet the doctor that day. He is married to the midwife, who I saw the first time we went in. He asked a bunch of questions, did a pelvic exam and asked me to cough and then said, "Oh, yeah, I see what is going on."
Can I just break here and say how uncomfortable it is to be a woman and have your legs spread apart while you're laying on a table with a male OB/GYN you've never met before pretty much stating that it's obvious there is something wrong with your woman area. Anyways...
It turns out that, thankfully, it is not uterine prolapse, but cervical/vaginal prolapse. My uterus was at a size at the time where most of the weight was resting on my vaginal walls. Because my walls are weak from having those vaginal deliveries, not doing Kegels and the fact that everything else on me is weak so why not?, they were having trouble supporting the uterus and were caving in as a result. The good news is - and this has already happened - as the uterus grows, it rests on the pelvic bone and the weight is taken off the vaginal walls. The bad news is that at the end of the pregnancy when the baby's head drops down it will rest on those walls again and I will be in the same situation I was then.
"So what was actually coming out of me?" I asked him.
"Oh, that was your cervix. When you start to feel the pressure again, get off your feet as soon as possible."
"Why do pregnant women not talk about this? I'm pretty sure it's not in the pregnancy books, is it?"
"Well," he answered. "I think most women are embarassed by it. It's more common than you would think, however."
On a side note, everything is going well other than that with the pregnancy. My due date is actually April 1st, but we think he or she will make the appearance in late March.
So, ladies of childbearing age, I am here to tell you this story not to gross you out or make you afraid of having children, but to encourage you to do your Kegels.
And to not freak out if you're pregnant and something is protruding from your legs.
It's probably just your cervix.
September is usually an interesting month anyways. Kids are heading back to school. The seasons start changing (maybe - in Michigan you never really know what it will be like.) It kind of feels like a time of beginnings with everything starting up again. It is also an emotional month for me.
This past September was especially exhausting. Noah started 4-year old kindergarten. I struggled with morning sickness, had a break at the end of the month and then Round 2 of morning sickness started up a week ago. I've never had that kind of experience before. With Noah my nausea stopped at 12 weeks exactly. Eleanor caused me to throw up every morning until I was 16 weeks along. With this one I never know if I'm going to throw up or not and two weeks ago I thought I was in the clear with it. What is going on inside that womb?
It was a rough month emotionally. A friend of mine miscarried September 12th at 14 weeks along. The next day was my sister and brother-in-law's 6th wedding anniversary, their daughter's 3rd birthday party and the first anniversary of their own miscarriage. Three days later on the 16th was the 5th anniversary of my miscarriage which was really hard for me this year, maybe because of everything else going on around me.
That week I also received word that a friend from college had thyroid cancer and a friend from our old church had a brain tumor (non-cancerous, thank God.) They both had surgeries the following week, my friend, Moriah, having her thyroid removed on Tuesday and Virginia having the tumor removed Thursday. Both went well, praise God.
The Ladies Bible Study at our church started the same week of the surgeries on that Wednesday. I am so thankful for it. I haven't been in one since the Moms Group a friend invited me to at her church when we lived in Grand Rapids. I was telling Tim the night before that I wonder if men really understand why we women need these kinds of things. He said he understood but probably only because he has seen firsthand the positive effect it has had on me. In GR, I joined it a few months after Noah was born and I was fighting postpartum unhappiness because new motherhood was NOT what I thought it would be. This new (to me) Bible Study is proving to be something that will challenge me, encourage me, hold me accountable, and love me. To be in a group of other women - with ages spanning those who are on their first baby to those who have great-grandchildren - is what every woman should have in her life. It is led by our pastor's wife and she is a strong, wise woman who isn't afraid to speak it like it is in the Bible. No sugar-coated Truth coming from her mouth. She is Spirit-filled and you can tell she spends a lot of time in prayer and in the Word.
The last weekend of the month was...eventful? You could say. Tim had spent the week working 12-14 hour days and had to work over the weekend as well so he was not home. The kids were bathed and just kind of hanging out playing and watching a movie while I cleaned up. I had spent the day cleaning the house, grocery shopping, etc. because I finally had my first burst of energy since entering my second trimester.
*If you are a man reading this - you may want to stop now. Just a warning.*
I went to the bathroom and while wiping thought something felt a little...wrong...down there. Out of curiousity, I put my hand down to feel a little more and there was definitely something hard coming out from between my legs. Quickly I washed my hands and ran upstairs, where I squatted over a mirror to see what was going on. I screamed after seeing something protruding between my legs.
I called Tim and told him I thought I might possibly be miscarrying. He asked if I was bleeding. No. Was I cramping? No. But there is definitely something coming out from a place only babies travel out of.
I then called my midwife/doctor's office, which was of course closed and wrote down the contact number for urgent questions for the on-call doctor. I called her, left a message with the nurse, and the doctor called me back soon after. She asked me what was wrong. The following is our conversation, not word-for-word, but you'll get the gist of it:
Me: I believe I am either miscarrying or delivering an alien baby.
Dr: I'm pretty sure you're not delivering an alien baby. Are you bleeding, cramping, in pain?
Me: No. What is going on? I have something coming out of me!
Dr: Can you describe it?
Me: Well, I guess it's kind of round, muscle-y looking maybe? Is the baby ok? Am I ok?
Dr: Well, it sounds like something that happens occasionally. Do you have kids already? Were they vaginal births?
Me: Yes, two of them.
Dr: Most likely - and this is not really common, but it's not uncommon either - your vaginal walls are caving in.
Silence.
Me: What?!
Dr: Talk to your doctor about it the next time you go in. There is no harm to you or the baby. Any other questions?
Me: Um, no, thanks. Bye.
Are there any other questions?! Yes! Like, why have I never heard of this before? Is my vagina always going to be falling out? When I joke around about all the pressure down there while I'm pregnant and say, "Oh, it feels like my crotch is falling out" I didn't really mean it literally!
My friend, Carrie, who was in town for the night came over shortly after to visit. She is a nurse and has worked the labor/delivery ward before. When I told her about it, she just stared at me and said, "Annie, I have never heard of that before."
Great.
So after she left and Tim was still not home yet, I did the next thing any curious and confused woman with no answers does. I googled, "mass protruding from between legs during pregnancy." That is when I came across multiple websites about uterine prolapse, which basically means the uterus is falling out. I should have stopped reading but instead was filled with the information of bedrest, preterm delivery, and hysterectomies being the only treatment for Stage 4 uterine prolapse, which, obviously, I had to have based on the fact stuff was coming out of me.
I went to bed unsettled and woke up with nothing coming out from between my legs anymore. Whew. I called my mom - which one should never really do before having concrete information about something - and told her my theory to which she of course freaked out. She already knew about uterine prolapse because my great-grandmother had it and was contantly having to go into the doctor in her old age to have her uterus put back in after it fell out. Oh, great. Not what I wanted to hear.
The next morning I called the office and got to meet the doctor that day. He is married to the midwife, who I saw the first time we went in. He asked a bunch of questions, did a pelvic exam and asked me to cough and then said, "Oh, yeah, I see what is going on."
Can I just break here and say how uncomfortable it is to be a woman and have your legs spread apart while you're laying on a table with a male OB/GYN you've never met before pretty much stating that it's obvious there is something wrong with your woman area. Anyways...
It turns out that, thankfully, it is not uterine prolapse, but cervical/vaginal prolapse. My uterus was at a size at the time where most of the weight was resting on my vaginal walls. Because my walls are weak from having those vaginal deliveries, not doing Kegels and the fact that everything else on me is weak so why not?, they were having trouble supporting the uterus and were caving in as a result. The good news is - and this has already happened - as the uterus grows, it rests on the pelvic bone and the weight is taken off the vaginal walls. The bad news is that at the end of the pregnancy when the baby's head drops down it will rest on those walls again and I will be in the same situation I was then.
"So what was actually coming out of me?" I asked him.
"Oh, that was your cervix. When you start to feel the pressure again, get off your feet as soon as possible."
"Why do pregnant women not talk about this? I'm pretty sure it's not in the pregnancy books, is it?"
"Well," he answered. "I think most women are embarassed by it. It's more common than you would think, however."
On a side note, everything is going well other than that with the pregnancy. My due date is actually April 1st, but we think he or she will make the appearance in late March.
So, ladies of childbearing age, I am here to tell you this story not to gross you out or make you afraid of having children, but to encourage you to do your Kegels.
And to not freak out if you're pregnant and something is protruding from your legs.
It's probably just your cervix.
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Was I Staring?
This past weekend I met up with two of my dear friends from college and we attended the Hearts at Home conference in Grand Rapids. We started planning it in January when Kelly came up with the idea after hearing the founder, Jill Savage, speak at her mom's group. After 10 months of waiting, the weekend came. You could say we were a bit, um, excited.
I left a few minutes earlier because I couldn't wait any longer (read: I was anxious to get away from my kids and husband) and also made better time than I thought getting to the place where I was going to pick Kelly up from her husband, Jack. I was almost ten minutes early and, lo and behold, I saw the Baker van already waiting in the parking lot. Kelly jumped out before I had the van turned off and loaded up her bag. After picking up some Subway for dinner, we were off to the Docter household to rescue, I mean, pick up, Jen. We were early and, surprise surprise, she was waiting at the door with her bags. I guess when Mommy needs a getaway, she needs it badly. =)
We checked in to our hotel and then walked over (in the rain) to the DeVos center to pick up our conference bags complete with Saturday Workshops schedule, a travel pack of Kleenex and chocolate. After comparing our schedules and cheering over receiving the workshops we had hoped for, Jen bid us an adieu to head back to the hotel to get ready for a wedding reception she was attending with her husband, which was, thankfully at The B.O.B., right down the street from our hotel.
After sitting through a small concert by the children's group Go Fish, we left soon after the comedian started. OK, now I attended this conference three years ago in Lansing and Sara Groves was the featured artist. She's not only incredible, but she's a mom! Her songs and stories could connect with each of us sitting in the audience. I understand that Go Fish doesn't use marketing or advertising, but through word-of-mouth (by moms mostly) and it makes sense why they would then be there. And they were quite good; I think that my kids would love the music...but do I really want to be singing children's songs on my night AWAY from my kids? No. The concert was followed by a comedian who we didn't really find that funny, so we decided to just leave early. I mean, it was 8:00 by that point and we felt close to bedtime. Actually, we didn't really want to walk back to the hotel in the cold, dark rain any later than that.
Before leaving we decided to wander on over to the resources tables to check out some of the books. Ever since hearing Julie Barnhill on Focus on the Family recently talking about her book, "She's Gonna Blow!", I have been waiting to pick it up at the conference and praying I would get her session (I did, along with 350 other women who apparently struggle with feeling like an angry mom.) I found her section of the table and Kelly found her favorite speaker's section right next to it. The woman behind Julie's books told me to let her know if I had any questions regarding the books. I told her I found what I was looking for and handed it to her so I could purchase it.
She laughed at my quickness and asked me if I was going to go back to my hotel and read it all night. I laughed with her while fishing out my payment. I looked at the other books while she rang it up and then, instead of giving the book back to me, took out a pen.
"What's your name?" she asked.
I told her and looked up at her face, then down at the book in front of me I had been looking at, then back up at her.
"Oh my goodness, you're her!" I exclaimed.
We ended up talking for a few minutes while I told her about how I had literally sat on my couch and sobbed during her interview with Dr. Dobson and how I felt like someone had put words to the emotions inside me that worried me so.
After thanking her again, I strolled a couple feet over to where Kelly stood talking to the woman behind the next section. She looked up at me, "Annie, this is Juli Slattery, who I told you about." I laughed and, gesturing to the woman who had followed me over to the discussion, said, "And this is Julie Barnhill!" The four of us talked for a few more minutes and then Kelly and I headed back to the hotel.
As Kelly and I floated on air, we talked about how we felt like we were meeting big celebrities because these are speakers we hear on Moody Bible Radio's programs all the time. (Side note: I would highly recommend going to Focus on the Family's website and listening to both Julie Barnhill's broadcast, which was Sept. 8 and 9, as well as Juli Slattery's, which was within the last couple weeks. They were so good and Dr. Slattery's was actually rated the top broadcast of 2009 for Focus on the Family.)
Anyways, I felt we handled ourselves quite well in meeting our "celebrities." Then the next day came and I'm pretty sure I cancelled out my gracefulness.
Between the lunch break and my second workshop (which was by Dr. Slattery) I was walking through a doorway to get to the next meeting room. It was at that point that I looked up and saw the main session speaker, Dr. Kevin Leman, walking past me. It was at that point I tripped over myself while staring and felt like a total moron.
I have admired Dr. Leman for years. When Tim and I were first married, my mom gave us the book, "Sheet Music" to read through. I laughed through most of it because he is so funny. Then I read "First Time Mom" while expecting Noah and "Making Children Mind Without Losing Your's" when we entered the toddler years. Noah has his children's book, "My Firstborn, There's No One Like You."
I decided, after finishing my lunch, to go to his section of the table and check out the books. I really didn't think he would actually be there, but he was! After purchasing a couple books for the kids, he signed one of them. Now, with Julie Barnhill, I had no trouble talking to her. With Dr. Leman, I ended up saying, "Hi" as I handed him the book.
Tell him how much Tim enjoys the fact I read "Sheet Music" I thought. No. That's weird.
He's the king of knowledge regarding birth order. Ask him what in the world to do with Ellie. No, I can't take up that much of his time.
How about any of the other books? No words came to my head.
"Who do you want me to make this out to?" he asked. I looked at what book I handed him, which was "My Youngest, There's No One Like You."
"Well, I'm not sure," I answered. Then I realized I sounded even more like an idiot. "I mean, we don't know what the gender is yet. We weren't actually planning on having any more kids. This is our little surprise." Great, genius, way to say too much.
He laughed and said, "Oh, I have three of those."
I laughed a little too hard in response, I think.
He handed the book back and said, "Good luck."
"Thanks," I mumbled and turned away. He probably thinks I need a visit to a psychologist for myself.
Anyways, overall the conference was fantastic. I sat through four really good workshops and, best of all, had an incredible time with my girls. It took me a good two days of early bedtimes and napping to catch up on my four hours of bad sleep from Friday night, but I don't regret it. We can't wait until next year, although we decided that from now on - two nights away are going to be the requirement.
I left a few minutes earlier because I couldn't wait any longer (read: I was anxious to get away from my kids and husband) and also made better time than I thought getting to the place where I was going to pick Kelly up from her husband, Jack. I was almost ten minutes early and, lo and behold, I saw the Baker van already waiting in the parking lot. Kelly jumped out before I had the van turned off and loaded up her bag. After picking up some Subway for dinner, we were off to the Docter household to rescue, I mean, pick up, Jen. We were early and, surprise surprise, she was waiting at the door with her bags. I guess when Mommy needs a getaway, she needs it badly. =)
We checked in to our hotel and then walked over (in the rain) to the DeVos center to pick up our conference bags complete with Saturday Workshops schedule, a travel pack of Kleenex and chocolate. After comparing our schedules and cheering over receiving the workshops we had hoped for, Jen bid us an adieu to head back to the hotel to get ready for a wedding reception she was attending with her husband, which was, thankfully at The B.O.B., right down the street from our hotel.
After sitting through a small concert by the children's group Go Fish, we left soon after the comedian started. OK, now I attended this conference three years ago in Lansing and Sara Groves was the featured artist. She's not only incredible, but she's a mom! Her songs and stories could connect with each of us sitting in the audience. I understand that Go Fish doesn't use marketing or advertising, but through word-of-mouth (by moms mostly) and it makes sense why they would then be there. And they were quite good; I think that my kids would love the music...but do I really want to be singing children's songs on my night AWAY from my kids? No. The concert was followed by a comedian who we didn't really find that funny, so we decided to just leave early. I mean, it was 8:00 by that point and we felt close to bedtime. Actually, we didn't really want to walk back to the hotel in the cold, dark rain any later than that.
Before leaving we decided to wander on over to the resources tables to check out some of the books. Ever since hearing Julie Barnhill on Focus on the Family recently talking about her book, "She's Gonna Blow!", I have been waiting to pick it up at the conference and praying I would get her session (I did, along with 350 other women who apparently struggle with feeling like an angry mom.) I found her section of the table and Kelly found her favorite speaker's section right next to it. The woman behind Julie's books told me to let her know if I had any questions regarding the books. I told her I found what I was looking for and handed it to her so I could purchase it.
She laughed at my quickness and asked me if I was going to go back to my hotel and read it all night. I laughed with her while fishing out my payment. I looked at the other books while she rang it up and then, instead of giving the book back to me, took out a pen.
"What's your name?" she asked.
I told her and looked up at her face, then down at the book in front of me I had been looking at, then back up at her.
"Oh my goodness, you're her!" I exclaimed.
We ended up talking for a few minutes while I told her about how I had literally sat on my couch and sobbed during her interview with Dr. Dobson and how I felt like someone had put words to the emotions inside me that worried me so.
After thanking her again, I strolled a couple feet over to where Kelly stood talking to the woman behind the next section. She looked up at me, "Annie, this is Juli Slattery, who I told you about." I laughed and, gesturing to the woman who had followed me over to the discussion, said, "And this is Julie Barnhill!" The four of us talked for a few more minutes and then Kelly and I headed back to the hotel.
As Kelly and I floated on air, we talked about how we felt like we were meeting big celebrities because these are speakers we hear on Moody Bible Radio's programs all the time. (Side note: I would highly recommend going to Focus on the Family's website and listening to both Julie Barnhill's broadcast, which was Sept. 8 and 9, as well as Juli Slattery's, which was within the last couple weeks. They were so good and Dr. Slattery's was actually rated the top broadcast of 2009 for Focus on the Family.)
Anyways, I felt we handled ourselves quite well in meeting our "celebrities." Then the next day came and I'm pretty sure I cancelled out my gracefulness.
Between the lunch break and my second workshop (which was by Dr. Slattery) I was walking through a doorway to get to the next meeting room. It was at that point that I looked up and saw the main session speaker, Dr. Kevin Leman, walking past me. It was at that point I tripped over myself while staring and felt like a total moron.
I have admired Dr. Leman for years. When Tim and I were first married, my mom gave us the book, "Sheet Music" to read through. I laughed through most of it because he is so funny. Then I read "First Time Mom" while expecting Noah and "Making Children Mind Without Losing Your's" when we entered the toddler years. Noah has his children's book, "My Firstborn, There's No One Like You."
I decided, after finishing my lunch, to go to his section of the table and check out the books. I really didn't think he would actually be there, but he was! After purchasing a couple books for the kids, he signed one of them. Now, with Julie Barnhill, I had no trouble talking to her. With Dr. Leman, I ended up saying, "Hi" as I handed him the book.
Tell him how much Tim enjoys the fact I read "Sheet Music" I thought. No. That's weird.
He's the king of knowledge regarding birth order. Ask him what in the world to do with Ellie. No, I can't take up that much of his time.
How about any of the other books? No words came to my head.
"Who do you want me to make this out to?" he asked. I looked at what book I handed him, which was "My Youngest, There's No One Like You."
"Well, I'm not sure," I answered. Then I realized I sounded even more like an idiot. "I mean, we don't know what the gender is yet. We weren't actually planning on having any more kids. This is our little surprise." Great, genius, way to say too much.
He laughed and said, "Oh, I have three of those."
I laughed a little too hard in response, I think.
He handed the book back and said, "Good luck."
"Thanks," I mumbled and turned away. He probably thinks I need a visit to a psychologist for myself.
Anyways, overall the conference was fantastic. I sat through four really good workshops and, best of all, had an incredible time with my girls. It took me a good two days of early bedtimes and napping to catch up on my four hours of bad sleep from Friday night, but I don't regret it. We can't wait until next year, although we decided that from now on - two nights away are going to be the requirement.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
In My Head
The songs and thoughts going through my head presented to you by the videos they are represented by:
Since Tim purchased their CD when it came out months ago, this is the song that gets me each time. I just love the line, "I give You all of me for all You are, take me apart, take me apart."
And this verse is rattling around in there, too:
"It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man." -Psalm 118:8
I watched this documentary yesterday and then again last night when Tim said he wanted to watch it with me. This is the trailer for it:
It was really interesting. A lot of the information I had read about when I was pregnant with Ellie and researching natural, pain-free childbirth (which obviously didn't happen with her.) I'm not saying an epidural or delivering in a hospital is right or wrong, I just thought it was so intriguing to see how much childbirth has changed in the last 100 years.
I should get on here and write a "real" post some day, but today is not that day.
Since Tim purchased their CD when it came out months ago, this is the song that gets me each time. I just love the line, "I give You all of me for all You are, take me apart, take me apart."
And this verse is rattling around in there, too:
"It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man." -Psalm 118:8
I watched this documentary yesterday and then again last night when Tim said he wanted to watch it with me. This is the trailer for it:
It was really interesting. A lot of the information I had read about when I was pregnant with Ellie and researching natural, pain-free childbirth (which obviously didn't happen with her.) I'm not saying an epidural or delivering in a hospital is right or wrong, I just thought it was so intriguing to see how much childbirth has changed in the last 100 years.
I should get on here and write a "real" post some day, but today is not that day.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Life
I sent Noah off to his first day of 4-year old preschool today. When the teacher opened the classroom door (we wait in the hallway until it's time) he ran in without a hug or kiss, a good-bye, or even a look back at me and Ellie. What a difference a year makes. There are a few kids from his class last year in it again and one of the teachers is the same - it happens to be his "favorite teacher" so that's nice. Our morning had a horrendous start with one thing after another going on, but we survived and even got to school early somehow. I guess it helps that it's only two minutes from our house.
My first prenatal appointment went well. We got to hear and see the heartbeat, which was in the 150s. We really liked the midwife we're going with this time and are excited for our experience. In some ways I'm hoping this time kind of redeems the labor and delivery and postpartum I had with Ellie.
Over Labor Day weekend, Tim and Noah tried camping out in the tent in the backyard one night. They went out around 9:00 that night and at 10:45 I was woken up when I heard Tim bringing Noah back into his bedroom and then he climbed in bed next to me. Apparently our backyard is not the place for a 4-year old to camp out. There were a lot of lights he was asking about, a lot of noises, the bullfrogs and crickets were insanely loud that weekend and in less than two hours, Noah was in the house twice to use the bathroom. We'll try again next year - maybe at a real campground.
My first prenatal appointment went well. We got to hear and see the heartbeat, which was in the 150s. We really liked the midwife we're going with this time and are excited for our experience. In some ways I'm hoping this time kind of redeems the labor and delivery and postpartum I had with Ellie.Noah has been having, for quite some time now, frequent nosebleeds. They happen at random times - when he's playing, sleeping, walking, etc. We had to take him in for blood draws last week - NOT a fun experience. It was the only time I have ever cried taking one of my children in to an appointment (well, besides Ellie's tubes surgery.) They were testing him for bleeding disorders. The pediatrician called today to say all the results came back great - yea! - but now we have to see the ENT specialist to find out what's going on with his nose.
Other little things in our life - Tim's brother and his family have moved back to the area after another hurtful experience by a church. Although we're heartbroken they had to experience what they did, it's nice to have family near us again.
STATS, the high school abstinence program I help with, is back in full swing again. I should be finding out in a few days what students I have on my team. I'm looking forward to meeting the new ones this Sunday and hopefully seeing some familiar faces.
We have a wedding to attend this weekend. We're excited for our friends and it should be a great time. We'll be able to visit with some people we haven't seen in awhile.
In less than three weeks, I'll be meeting up with my college friends, Jen and Kelly, to attend the Hearts at Home conference. We're having a Moms Night Away and I could not be more excited than I am right now...unless the conference director was to call us and say we won one of the drawings we signed up for. But even if we don't win, it won't detract from any of my excitement.
Tim and I are at a great place in our marriage. I'm not saying it can't be better - marriages always take work and can always find places of improvement - but I am saying that we're the closest we've ever been. Everything we've been through in the past couple months, and it's felt like a lot, has been for the good of our family as we've drawn closer to God, and as a result, to each other. Hurts, persecution, surprises and struggles are tiny blips in a bigger story. We praise Him for what He has done in our lives.
We are building connections at our church. Tim has been on a men's overnight camping trip and spent a morning playing paintball with some other guys from there. I'm looking forward to the ladies Bible Study that starts next week. I just wish we could memorize everyone else's names as quickly as they are able to remember our's.
Oh! I keep forgetting to mention the project! A few weeks ago now, I met with the director of the Lakeshore Pregnancy Center. I had a wonderful meeting with her and also got to meet the volunteer coordinator. I presented them with an idea I had, but stressed how I really was just wondering if they had a way of letting the moms know they are loved, cared for, supported, etc. I think too often in our Christian culture, we're very pressuring when it comes to not aborting, but then we don't walk with them through the rest of their pregnancy when they make a decision to keep their baby. God's timing is, of course, amazing. The director told me they had been trying to figure out how to develop a ministry for the moms when she got my initial email. We tossed around a couple ideas, prayed with each other and are going to keep in contact as the idea grows and forms. I told her that I would like to get through my first trimester since I've not been feeling the greatest before I throw myself into it and she said that was fine since they just moved into a new building and are still unpacking. Through the wonderful support, encouragement, and help from the girls in my small group - who want to be involved in any way they can - I think it's going to be awesome. I also have the support of our church who are eager to know how they can help as well, so I have a lot of people on board! I'm so excited to see how God is going to use us for these women.
So that's our life right now.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Great For Kids...And Adults!
My sister-in-law posted a link for this on her Facebook page recently and I thought it was great.
They're called Seeds Family Worship and they have CDs that are Scripture set to music. The music is really good, really catchy, and even Tim and I enjoyed watching the videos and listening to them (you can listen to all the songs on their website.) Every time I woke up last night to use the bathroom or toss and turn, there seemed to be one of the songs in my head. At first I thought, "Oh, no. I hate when this happens with songs." Then I realized that for these songs - it's a good thing, since we're told to meditate on Scripture and to teach it to our children.
Here is one of their songs. It's Psalm 55:22: "Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you. He will never let the righteous fall."
*I'm not sure why the video picture is off, like it's too big for the screen. It's not like this on the website.*
They're called Seeds Family Worship and they have CDs that are Scripture set to music. The music is really good, really catchy, and even Tim and I enjoyed watching the videos and listening to them (you can listen to all the songs on their website.) Every time I woke up last night to use the bathroom or toss and turn, there seemed to be one of the songs in my head. At first I thought, "Oh, no. I hate when this happens with songs." Then I realized that for these songs - it's a good thing, since we're told to meditate on Scripture and to teach it to our children.
Here is one of their songs. It's Psalm 55:22: "Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you. He will never let the righteous fall."
*I'm not sure why the video picture is off, like it's too big for the screen. It's not like this on the website.*
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