Let's Talk About Sex

Interesting, eh? You might wonder what you're about to read. Well, I will put your mind at ease right now by telling you it is nothing concerning details about sex, how it works, etc. It more concerns a chapter in a book I'm reading.
Our friend, Matt, let Tim borrow a book he just finished called "Confessions of a Pastor" by Craig Groeschel. Out of curiousity I picked it up the other night and am now having a hard time putting it down. I would highly recommend it. Groeschel is very funny as he writes so it keeps you interested and feels like you're having a conversation with him.
I read Chapter 2 yesterday, "I Have to Work Hard to Stay Sexually Pure." I was interested in seeing what he had to write because you don't often hear a pastor confessing something like that, yet you know they are human and tempted like the rest of us. I loved the chapter. I love what he wrote, how he wrote it, and how it spoke to and challenged me.
You see, I was not a virgin when I met Tim. Sorry if this embarasses or lets any of you down...but I feel the need to be honest. I had a 3 year long, very serious and very physical relationship in high school. We never actually had intercouse yet "did everything but" which I see now is what you tell yourself to feel less guilty. After breaking up with him, I had a quick physical rebound fling with a co-worker. "Makeout buddies" you could say. Then I settled into a one-month long disaster of a relationship, again physical. For some reason after we broke up, we still continued to see each other and that ended up leading to sex. I was fresh graduated from high school and he was still in it. Away I went to a Christian college and yet on weekends I came home, still found myself sleeping with him (why do they call it "sleeping together" anyways? Not much sleeping is done...) I think I kept continuing on in this self-destructive pattern because I actually hated sex and thought maybe it would get better. It didn't. I would just go back to Grand Rapids at the end of the weekend feeling trashy. Finally we called it off (actually we had a big fight and never spoke again.) I told myself I was not going to date anyone until I got myself together and started working on my relationship with the Lord.
That is when Tim came into my life. It was February of 2000 and we had two classes together and in our Speech class were put in a group project together. That is when we became friends. I felt a strong attraction to him over time, but still wasn't sure if I wanted to get into another relationship. It wasn't until the end of September that we finally had our "Define the Relationship" talk. I told him within a couple weeks that I was not a virgin and so if he was looking for a pure angel, he was going to have to look somewhere else. We had already talked about our desire that each of us had individually to try to abstain even from kissing until engagement (that lasted a whole 3 weeks.)
Tim and I worked very hard for almost 3 years to not let things ever get beyond kissing. We set many boundaries like: no kissing while laying down, no taking naps laying next to each other, no putting ourselves in situations where things could get out of hand, etc. Somehow, they worked. It was tough, but we did actually wait until our wedding night and I entered into marriage having the utmost respect for him because he respected me and I knew that he truly cared for me and not what he could get from me.
Now that you know my history (which was long, I do apologize) let me explain why the book touched me so. I have single friends who struggle physically in relationships. Oftentimes I do not know what to tell them. I don't agree with them when they tell me about the things they are doing in their relationships, yet I don't know how to express it in a way that doesn't sound like "I'm holier than thou because I waited with Tim." They can always shoot my past back in my face as well because most of them know about it. So instead I either laugh with them, or say nothing.
This is what Craig Groeschel has to say:
"For me, sexual purity has become a profoundly big deal. It should be for you, too. Why am I so serious about purity? Because God's serious about it. Ephesians 5:3 says, 'But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality.'
Not even a hint.
What is a hint of sexual impurity? Certainly looking lustfully at someone in a magazine, on television, or in person would fall somewhere north of the "hint" mark, wouldn't it? Jesus said that just to look lustfully at someone is the same as committing adultery. Yet I know many people who say, 'I'm just window shopping, not buying.'
How's your thought life? Do you catch your mind wandering to sexually explicit thoughts about someone besides your spouse? Impurity. Laughing at that sexual joke in the break room at work? Impurity. Are you honoring God by reading women's magazines with articles like, "73 Sinful Ways to Drive your Man Crazy in Bed?" Or by droppingsexual innuendos? Or masturbating? The list could go on and on.
You have to quit playing your little rationalization games. You know you're justifying sin. It's wrong. Worse, it's dangerous.
What if you're a single person? What should your standard of purity be? Just fooling around? You know, "doing everything but"? A quick game of naked Twister? How about a sleepover? We won't mess around. We'll just cuddle in bed.
WARNING! BOUNDARY VIOLATION!
Why are those things wrong? Because they're intimate acts reserved for marriage. Sex. Undoing bras or zippers. Messin' around. All these are appropriate for marriage...but none are appropriate outside of marriage.
Not even a hint."

I know this was long, but I just wanted to share. I felt convicted. I feel challenged. I tend to be more of a bold person when it comes to speaking my mind (if you know me well, you probably just let out a laugh and "yeah, you sure are. Too much sometimes.") I haven't been as much so on this when it comes to those close to me. I feel like I have let God down by not saying something, especially when it concerns a Christian brother or sister who knows what they are doing is wrong but has convinced themself otherwise, or rationalized it in some way.
I think I know now why I used to hate sex: it was not in the context of marriage. It was not mine to enjoy. Yet as soon as Tim placed the wedding ring on my finger and we said our vows, we became one. God has blessed us. I see now that sex is great...within marriage. I also see that sex is more than just intercourse, it's so much more. It involves your eyes, lips, ears and mind. It involves your hands. It is what you see and say and hear and do that puts yourself, your spouse (either present or future), and others at risk of intentional sin.
Not even a hint.

Summertime Fun

We just returned from vacation this evening. Our friends, the Lewises, accompanied us to Ohio for a long weekend. We had some great weather, conversations, and moments. Here are some pictures from our trip:

Noah is "helping" his dad drive the pontoon boat. He looks like he belongs there.

A trip to the Cleveland Zoo brought elephants...

Giant tortoises...

And...Dinosaurs??...
He has not fallen asleep in a stroller since he was an infant. But after 5 fun-and-animal-filled hours, I guess it's not a surprise.
What other way to end the weekend but with an adventure filled canoe ride? I think the guys re-thought their decision about 10 minutes into it. I'm glad we didn't know about it until we saw them paddling away.

Answered Prayers

God has just been amazing Tim and me with answering prayers, opening and closing doors, showing us how BIG He is and that He can do what He says He can do. Our biggest answered prayer right now is that when our lease is up in August, we have somewhere new to live. It is a small duplex in Grand Haven that has been completely updated and remodeled. It is on a quiet road on the outskirts of town and has a yard with trees and lots of shade (yippee!) The landlord seems close to our age and is a really nice guy. He travels more often than he is home so he said it will feel as if we have the place to ourselves most of the time. One of the best parts is that it is $200 cheaper than what we pay at our apartment AND we won't have to pay water and sewer like we do now. Most people at this point ask, "How can it be so much cheaper if you are going to be in a nice area, in a remodeled duplex and it has a washer and dryer?" To which we can only respond, "God did it. We were praying a God-size prayer for cheaper housing, yet hopefully not in an apartment complex because it would be nice for Noah to have a yard to play in. God is the only One who could have worked this out."
He also has been opening doors for Tim to expand on his business. It has been his dream to someday operate his own home restoration business. As of now, he works with 4 other guys. One of them is leaving for college in the fall, one is moving more full-time into the position of youth pastor at his church, one is basically gone already doing a Pepperidge Farm truck route (or something along those lines) and one (Tim's brother) was offered his own dream job in Ohio (which means we are experiencing happiness and some sadness) as a youth pastor. This leaves just Tim, who is at this point the only one whose passion is the home restoration. At the moment, the dream is for him and our other friend, Tim, to partner up and run the business. At this point, it's all a matter of timing...but God keeps opening doors.
It is funny to see how God's plans are so much different from our own. Just back in April, we were so excited about the prospect of moving to Ann Arbor but then felt uneasy about it. Since making the decision to stay in West Michigan, God has been providing Tim with so much work that he has actually had to turn down jobs because he can't fit them into the schedule by the time they want the work done!
Then we were so sure of wanting to move back to Grand Rapids when our lease was up. Slowly, as the time has drawn nearer, the uneasy feeling started creeping back in again. God led us to a home that is just what we were looking for and now we have nothing but peace about it.
We also read a book last week (well, I read it and then briefed Tim on what it said) called "The Treasure Principle" by Randy Alcorn. It has changed our views on giving and how much importance we place on material possessions. I think it was the perfect time to read the book because, as we prepare to move into a smaller space and have a garage sale with some friends, it is easier to go through and pick what items we need to sell. Don't get me wrong, there are some things that you would have to pry out of my cold dead hands before I would get rid of them, but then there are other things that we realize are just taking up space in our home. We have realized the importance of eternal rewards in relation to the temporary earthly things. I looked through the Pottery Barn catalog over the weekend when it came in the mail. It might be the first time I have ever looked at it and not felt a want for anything in there. It all seemed overpriced to me.
So God has been working in the lives of Tim and me. We are so thankful for all He has shown us, for the awesome friends and family He has blessed us with, and for the adventure that He has in store for us.

Emotionally Spent

I'm spent. Not just physically, thanks to my latest exercise attempt, but emotionally.
Tim and I spent the weekend debating where to live, which ended in a breakdown of tears for me. It is hard when he works in 2 different cities, so it really doesn't matter where we choose because either way he will be driving farther part of the time. So then it comes down to who do we want to live by or where do we want to raise Noah or what city offers more for the development of our family?
Have you ever been in a position where you have had to answer these questions? It is not easy. At all. I know that if we say we're going to stay in Muskegon, then we let down people in Grand Rapids who are looking forward to the possiblity of us moving back. However, we have become closer to people in Muskegon in the past few months, our church is here and we LOVE it, and our friends Matt & Jeana are moving here from California at the end of the month. We have friends in both places. In relation to schools, we don't want Noah in Grand Rapids public or Muskegon public. We would probably try to send Noah to a slightly smaller school district that is still good. Grand Rapids has Meijer Gardens and the Children's Museum, as well as a host of other fun places. Muskegon has Lake Michigan and we are a family who would live in the water if possible. Muskegon also has family, for as long as they decide to live here.
So what do you do? This is what caused my breakdown. The hard part is that I started feeling the wear and tear of upkeeping relationships. I feel like we are going to let people down no matter where we choose.
Maybe we'll just live where we can find the cheapest rent.
Now I am emotionally spent.
Hey, that rhymes.
On top of that, I got an email out of the blue from someone yesterday accusing me of things I never said or did months ago! He said I did not attend the events surrounding his marriage because of my disapproval of him (I have known his wife since college) and that I hurt his wife. I felt like I was in high school again. When I sent a reply email explaining the reasons behind why I could not attend their wedding (which was in Florida) or reception (which was also out of town on a night we were not able to find a babysitter), I also told him that if he wanted to continue the discussion, he would have to call or do it to my face because I wasn't going to email back and forth about it. He sent me a nastier email, followed a couple hours later by a disturbingly sweet email. I have had suspicions he is emotionally abusive, and I'm seeing them confirmed through what he has written. What is sad is that his poor wife emailed to apologize because she couldn't believe he wrote what he did. I feel that he has driven a wedge between his wife and me and I just don't have the energy to deal with it. I did email him back after the sweet email and gave him my phone number and told him to call if he felt the need. For crying out loud, I'm 26 and a wife and mother, not some 16 year old high schooler that fights over email!
On a positive note, there is just over a week until we get to go on our mini-vacation with Matt, Stephani, and Emma. I am looking forward to getting away, jetskiing, pontoon boating, sitting and staring at the lake, etc. Bring it on!

A Day in the Life

Many times when I talk to people and they find out I am a stay-at-home mom, they pause, look at me, and then ask, "What do you DO all day at home?" I wonder if they think that Noah is this electronic monitoring ankle bracelet (much like what Paris Hilton is sporting now) that doesn't let me leave the house. Or maybe they picture me sitting on the couch in my pajamas, eating a bag of chips and watching morning talk shows and afternoon soap operas while my son runs around the house destroying things. I decided to blog a typical day for me, and chose yesterday as my sample.
6:38 - Raise head and open one eye to look at clock, nudge Tim out of bed, go back to sleep
7:02 - Wake up and have my quiet/prayer time
7:25 - Eat a bowl of cereal while watching the local morning news blip during Good Morning America, kiss Tim good-bye, check email
7:38 - Noah wakes up and has breakfast
8:10 - Clean up kitchen from breakfast
8:20 - Do toning exercises while Noah finishes "Little Einsteins" and starts "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse" and runs around the room dancing and singing along
8:40 - Put on sweats and t-shirt, dress Noah, brush teeth, put shoes on, get stroller
9:05 - Start walk/jog intervals
9:55 - Arrive back at apartment, put away stroller, drain a very large, very cold glass of water while Noah has a snack
10:05 - Shower, dress, debate wearing make-up and decide to pass (except for mascara), debate actually doing something with my hair or throwing it in pigtails and decide on actually doing it
10:47 - Look in the mirror and think, "What is this? I actually like the way I look today. That doesn't usually happen." Decide that it must be a good day.
10:48 - Chase Noah down to put his shoes on, grab purse and head out to run errands (Meijer, bank, etc.)
12:09 - Arrive home, make lunch, eat lunch while listening to "Family Life" on WCSG
12:35 - Decide to clean apartment. Noah "helps" where possible
1:30 - Noah goes down for nap
1:33 - Respond to emails, read some blogs, research prices of Quickbooks, web domains, and the cost of getting a builders license for Tim
2:30 - Sit down to read, start a Jane Austen biography but realize I should finish the book I have already started so I pick up "Making children mind without losing yours."
3:38 - Noah wakes up, spend the next hour and a half playing, singing, eating a snack
4:59 - Tim calls to say he will be home in about 15 minutes
5:00 - Re-heat leftover chicken and broccoli casserole for Noah and I for dinner
5:20 - Tim gets home, changes clothes and we run out to look at an apartment complex in Spring Lake
6:00 - Return home, have heated discussion, Tim reheats leftovers for himself, Noah plays on his slide (it's small and plastic so we have it in the living room), I look for more ideas where to live
6:30ish- Noah and I play on the Noggin channel website and sing, Tim looks over his disability insurance packet that came in the mail
7:00 - Tim begins the bedtime ritual that he has with Noah, I sit down and for the first time in months watch "Inside Edition"
7:30 - Tim joins me after having put Noah to bed and then showered and we watch a show about Hawaii on the Travel Channel, drool over the fresh fruits they talk about
8:00 - Watch the funniest episode I have ever seen of "Everybody Loves Raymond", it is about sexual "power" in the bedroom. Tim and I are laughing to the point of tears and poking each other in the sides occasionally.
8:30 - Flip between "Raymond" and "Samantha Brown's Passport to Latin America", by this point I am talking to Tim again
9:00 - I watch the first few minutes of "So You think You can Dance" while Tim falls asleep
9:15 - Decide to go to bed early, brush teeth, go through bedtime routine
9:30 - Tim and I discuss the day's events, why I feel frustrated, etc.
10:00 - Sleep calls

So you can see that although I am not a very exciting person while at home with my son, while he is awake I do not really watch TV (unless it is a children's show.) We do usually eat dinner all together and then play afterwards, but yesterday was kind of off with going to look at the apartment complex. So what do I DO all day? You can see for yourself.

I love life

True, life can be a bit overwhelming at times. However, I genuinely love my life. I'm not rich, I rent an aparment, I could stand to lose 10-15 pounds, and I have a 21 month old who has decided to hit the "terrible twos" a bit early. On the other hand, I am alive, I have wonderful family and friends, I have dreams and goals that the Lord has placed in my heart, I am healthy (as far as I know), I have a phenomenal husband and a very loving son. We had a really fun weekend and it just reminds me how much joy surrounds me.


This is from a Murdery Mystery Dinner party we went to Friday night. From left to right are: Lindsey (8 1/2 months pregnant!), Weston, Tony, Britton, Joe, Melissa, Noah (snuck into the picture), Tim and me. Lindsey turned out to be the "murderer." She was a jilted lover.


This handsome guy is Nehemiah. We went to church in GR with his parents and this is the first time we've seen him since he was born. His hair is incredibly soft.


Saturday night we were invited over to Matt & Stephani's so Noah and Emma could play in the pool together. Afterward, we went to K2, the top of the Kirby House, and had some yummy pizza.
Sunday night we celebrated Deidra's birthday at her parents' house. After dinner, Noah and Wyndham danced to "The Body Song" (Head, shoulders, knees and toes.)


And this is one of Wyndham's funny faces. Look at those curls!!


Life is good. God is great.

You, Me & Capri

Tim & I went to Chicago for a night to celebrate our 4th anniversary. We toured Frank Lloyd Wright's Robie House and his home and studio. This is me at the Robie House.

This is in front of Austin Park, where I looked around at their "Art in the Park" in Oak Park. I am giving a "kiss" to Frank Lloyd Wright. I know, I know, he has creepy hollow eyes.
I am sewing a pair of capris right now. This is my first really big project and only my third sewing project, so I was slightly nervous...but it's going better than I imagined it would. It is on hold for the moment because I forgot to buy interfacing when I was buying the other fabric. I will post pictures when I finish them.

We had a really fun Memorial Day weekend. Our friend, Kerin, from Ohio (although she is attending grad school in Indiana at the moment) came up for the weekend to visit. She stayed with Tim and Christina. Tim, Noah, and I stayed Sunday through Monday at Tim & Christina's as well. It was so great to spend that time together. You realize in college, and afterwards, how much your friends become your family away from family because they are closer geographically, making them more accesible. Anyways, we spent some time watching the sunset, making meals together, playing games, watching "The Holiday" and a few episodes of "The Office", and the best part: watching Kerin and our friend, Unty, start a new relationship with each other. I think the matchmaking is going to work this time around. Our friends are also so helpful with Noah. It was so normal to see Tim A. playing/wrestling/tickling him as we cleaned up from dinner, or to look out the kitchen window and see Kerin exploring with him outdoors. Monday morning Christina told Tim and I to go take a walk and she would watch Noah for us. This allowed us the opportunity to go walk around our old neighborhood (Tim & Christina are around the corner and down the street from it.) We stopped and visited with our old neighbors and even walked down to visit the family that we gave our old dog, Pippin, too. He is a fattie now! He was on steroids for his allergies and then they found out he has a thyroid problem. He is probably twice as big as the last time we saw him. He is being so loved, though. The couple's daughter and her family just moved back from The Netherlands and it sounds as if they are actually going to be taking Pippin with them when they move to Buffalo, New York. They have 2 young girls and a son and the kids are in love with Pippin. Although it was kind of sad to see him again, especially since he still remembered us, it warms my heart to know he is being so well cared for and spoiled!

We spent Monday evening barbecuing with our small group from church. That was also quite fun. Matt & Stephani's daughter, Emma, was at her grandparents' for the night and Noah went to sleep soon after we arrived over there, so it was a quiet evening. We actually had conversations that were uninterrupted!

Matt, Stephani & Emma are actually going to be vacationing with us at Tim's parents' house in Ohio next month. My in-laws will be in California and invited us to come down and use the house and bring friends if we wanted to. So we'll all pile into our new mini-van and head down to Lake Mohawk. We're all excited for it and I think we're going to try to visit the Cleveland Zoo at some point.

There are days like today where I miss our house, or living in a house. It was a warm and partly sunny day and I would have done just about anything to have a backyard that I could take Noah out to play in. I wish I was able to set up a little kiddie pool for him so he could play in that. However, I don't regret selling the house or moving out to Muskegon (even if it has come with some challenging times.) I am so thankful that we could take the profit and pay off the student loans and be DEBT FREE! That is better to me than a house. We are no longer slaves to the lender. Tim and I realized that we have Quicken on our computer (we're quick, I know) and so we sat down tonight and put all our budget into it. We financially started getting some things squared away and feel good and peaceful about where we are at. I think there are going to be some exciting things in our future.

My dream job was posted last week. It was for the director of Alpha Women's Center. I have wanted this job since my friend, Kelly, had it after we graduated. I talked on the phone with her about it, seeked counsel from a couple other friends and my husband, and did LOTS of praying about it. After all this I realized that, when it comes down to it, I still don't want to work until Noah is in school. I really can't stand the thought of someone else raising him if it doesn't have to be that way. It was also reassuring to hear Kelly say that there happens to be high turnover for that position and it should be up again by the time Noah enters school. It is weird to see how kids can change you. I would have done anything to have my dream job 2 years ago. Now I realize that my family is my dream for the moment, especially as Noah is entering the outskirts of the "terrible twos" and has started whining and throwing temper tantrums. I want to be the one to discipline and teach him throughout the day and to have consistency in his life. I probably sound old fashioned, but I don't care. I don't want his first memories to be of someone else spending his days with him. I am glad I saw the posting, though, because for so long now I have been asking God what I should do career-wise in my life someday and the intensity and fire I felt when I saw the posting alerted me that this is it. I want to be the director of a pregnancy center. For now, I can work on my hobbies: sewing, knitting, crocheting, etc. while having the joys of being home with Noah!

Rachel and John came out to visit me and Noah last week. We took the boys to the Lake for a picnic. We had a hard time keeping them our of the water. After bringing them back up to the blanket, we turned around to find them escaping again!Tim and I took Noah out to the lake one night last week. Noah seriously LOVES water. We have to hold him back because he pretty much wants to throw himself into it. He belly laughs harder than I have ever heard when he is in the lake.

I babysat Emma for a couple hours one morning last week. There is a sandbox and a little play area at our apartment complex, so we played with sand for a little bit.

This is our sunset picture: Tim, Christina, Unty, Kerin, Me, Noah and TimMe, Kerin & Christina in our portrayal of Charlie's Angels. I didn't realize we were supposed to do serious faces.

And the boys being....well, boys.

Catch Up

We have had a crazy May right from the beginning. On Tuesday, May 1st, Noah and I went to Grand Rapids. We were taking a trip to the wonderful Target Greatland and had the opportunity to visit Jen and her kids, Maddie and Leighton. There are days where the best times to spend with friends is just walking around Target while visiting with each other and sharing child-rearing tips and stories.

After leaving Target, Noah and I made a stop at a library in GR to get a book that isn't available at any of our Muskegon area libraries. After getting the book, we were traveling west on Leonard street to get to 131North to go home. While going through a green light at an intersection, a driver coming from the opposite direction decided to turn left and slammed into the front of our car. Thank you, Rachel and John, for coming to pick up me and Noah and for your calming presence!The picture doesn't seem to brutal, but we found out the next day that it was enough to total the car. Yippee. We were provided with a rental car at a crazy cheap price. That was Wednesday.

Thursday afternoon we took our cute rental car and headed to Ohio. After staying the night at Tim's parents, we left early Friday morning and headed down to Purcelville, Virginia. BEAUTIFUL! What gorgeous country lies in the south! Tim's Uncle Warren and Aunt Ellie were kind enough to host us for a few days as we visited family.

This is Brayden, son of Tim's cousin, Jeremy and his wife, Carrie. He is only a couple weeks old in this picture.

This is Brooklyn, daughter of Tim's cousin, Jonathan, and his wife, Shelley. All these adorable babies everywhere!
This is Brayden's older brother, Luke. We had the opportunity to go watch Holland and Carter "play" soccer while we were visiting. This was at the field.
This is Carter, who is "attacking" aliens with a soccer ball. I can't wait until Noah learns all this.

Holland is in the pink sweatshirt and her younger brother, Austin, is in the yellow. They are Brooklyn's older siblings. The oldest, Anna, I don't have any pictures of because she wasn't feeling well.

Grandma Sommerfeld and Noah color while waiting for lunch.

Family pictures.

It was so special for us to get to spend this time with Grandma. We had not seen her since our wedding, which was 4 years ago this month.

We were able to see Tim's Grandma Sommerfeld, his cousins and their families, and even took a day to go into Washington DC. I have to admit, my favorite moments were actually in the evening after Noah went to bed. Tim and I and Warren and Ellie would sit on their front porch and talk until the sun was set and we couldn't see each other. Tim and I found out so much family history. Tim also had a great time being able to hear stories about his Uncle Warren's work, and get some advice and ideas on what he can do in his own business to improve it.

This is our the only picture from our day in DC with all 3 of us. It's at the FDR memorial.

Watch out for sea turtles! We quickley went into the Smithsonian Natural History Museum.

Noah and me at the Lincoln Monument. You can see that famous reflection pond and the Washington Monument in the back.

Did I mention we got a flat tire on the rental car while driving by the White House? We did. Tim hit a curb while turning a corner and it hit in just the right place to put a hole in the tire. He had to pull over and change it on Constitution Avenue. Ah, this is what memories are made of...

We left on Monday after lunch and stayed the night in Ohio again. Tim dropped Noah and me off at my parents' on Tuesday. Our original plan was that he would go back and work long days to catch up on some projects and then come back Saturday morning to pick us up. I called him Wednesday night and said we were going to have to come home sooner because Noah was having the worst day of his little life. My mom and I think he was breaking down from being gone from home for so long. He started throwing horrible temper tantrums and every noise set him off: the oven timer, airplanes overhead, the phone ringing. He spent 80% of the day crying. I held out until he went to bed and then I broke down. So on Thursday afternoon my dad drove us to Portland, where Tim picked us up.

We went straight to a small used mini-van dealership in North Muskegon. After test driving a 2000 Dodge Grand Caravan we bought it. It has high mileage, but it runs, is in good shape, and is larger than our Honda Odyssey, which we call our "mini" minivan, or our glorified station wagon.

Friday was a catch up on laundry and cleaning day.

Saturday morning Noah and I went to the Farmers Market. I just love Farmers Markets. Yea for summer and the arrival of them. Our friend, Lindsay, stopped by and had lunch with us. That evening, Jen, Scott, Maddie & Leighton came over for dinner. It was their first time seeing the apartment. Afterwards, we all traveled to Holland to celebrate the first birthday of Owen Baker. It was so good to see Jack and Kelly. They told us they just bought their first house, which excites me, but makes me kind of sad because it means they're putting roots down in Indiana and we want so badly for them to end up back here. I guess it could still happen when Jack is done with Purdue. We'll see.

Kari draws with Maddie and Noah at Owen's birthday party.

Owen was pretty excited about his Curious George theme party. Yum, cake!

Leighton is growing so fast! At first glance I think he looks like Scott, but I definitely see Jen's features in him as well.

Owen (we're so glad he still has his red hair!), Kelly, Noah, and me saying good-bye. We're supposed to see them again at the end of June, so it's something to look forward to!

It was a lazy Mothers' Day, which I think I've earned. I'm so thankful for my mother, my mother-in-law, and the son who has made me into a mother.

The Need to Create

I felt a crafty mode coming on last night. It was started as I took my trusty knitting book, Stitch and Bitch off the shelf to look for a pattern (great book. If you are a knitter, it's a must have.) We are going to visit some of Tim's relatives this weekend. Two of his cousins just had babies within the past few weeks and I wanted to make them the Umbillical Cord hat. As I lazily looked through the patterns I came across some other things I wanted to create. This then led to me taking all my knitting books off the shelf to mark pages of patterns I want to try. Two of the items at the end of Stitch and Bitch are actually sewing projects. I realized that, alhtough I did not have enough scrap fabric laying around for the needle case, I DID have enough for the knitter's bag. Woo-hoo! I cut fabric last night, Tim created a design for me to sew on the outside, and I went to bed dreaming of needles, thread, yard, and the hum of a sewing maching.

This morning I got to work as soon as Noah was settled in his high chair with breakfast. I made the bag and am SO pleased with it. It was super easy, which is necessary for me since I just touched a sewing machine for the first time when I got it for my birthday in December. I realized, though, that it does not have a zipper, and when I went to transfer the items in my current purse over, they would be strewn about the bottom of the purse. This led me to pull out Stitch and Bitch Nation (the wonderful sequel) and find a pattern to fix my problem. As soon as Noah went down for his nap, I went to work on knitting what is supposed to be a little evening purse, but I tweaked some things and made it into a cute little catch-all accesories bag. It's the perfect size! It fits my inhalor, lipgloss, Tide To-Go pen, and the ever potent Listerine

strips that make you gasp for air as if you were dying, but leave you with that fun mouth tingle afterwards.

I have more projects to be worked on throughout the week and have already asked my knitting soulmate, Rachel, to borrow The Happy Hooker (don't worry, it's about crochet) to get some ideas from there as well.

On a side note, it was beautiful weather here in West Michigan this weekend. Yesterday we took

Noah out to the Rose's house (a family from church.) They live about 2 minutes away from us and have horses and 2 week old kittens that they said we could bring Noah out to see. He LOVED it, especially the kittens. He's a cat guy so far, which isn't great because we'll never be able to have indoor cats. Maybe when we have a house again someday he can have an outside cat.

Fun at the Beach

My good friend, Christina, has the week off of work while the family she nannies for is on vacation. Today she came out to visit and we took a picnic lunch out to Lake Michigan. It was a bit chilly still, but when the sun was really beating down on you it felt great. Although it was a quiet day on the beach, the lake was hosting its share with ducks, a motorboat and a freighter. Noah enjoyed pointing everything out to us.

It was great to spend some time with Christina. Usually it is us and husbands getting together, or us trying to converse on the phone amidst daily craziness, so it was nice to be able to spend some girl time (and Noah) with each other.

We had a nice weekend. My in-laws had come up from Ohio to attend my niece's birthday party. We were able to visit with them a little bit Saturday after they got in and then after church on Sunday during lunch. Wyndham's party was a fun time. She seemed a bit tired...until she saw her new bike. Fun times.

I am getting more and more excited for May. The first weekend in we are going to the DC area to visit some of Tim's family that we haven't seen in years, some members I have never even had the pleasure of meeting. We're both looking forward to that one. The weekend after that, our friends Jack and Kelly will be coming up from Indiana to stay at Jack's sister's house in Holland. We are going to celebrate the first birthday of their son, Owen. We haven't seen them since November and it will be fun to see how much Owen has grown in that time. The weekend after that we're planning a weekend trip to Chicago (just Tim and I) to celebrate our anniversary. The weekend after that is Memorial weekend and that one is up in the air still until we find out if our friend, Kerin, will be able to come up and visit. Last year, Tim and Noah and I went camping and I would kind of like to do it again, even if the campground is just 3 miles from our apartment. Busy times ahead but each one should be packed with fun.

Things are going well for us. Financially there have been some tough and tight times with Tim not having work for about 3 1/2 weeks within March and April. God has again shown himself faithful in providing for our needs. Not our wants, but He never promises to provide those. We have a shelter over our heads, food in our fridge and cupboards, and clothes on our bodies...so we can't complain. Our marriage, however, is in great shape and we continue to grow closer to one another. We still have felt a great peace regarding Tim turning down the job in Ann Arbor and have not once felt any regret or guilt over it. Praise God for closed doors.

We have had a really good sermon series this month at church. It is called "My Story" and the pastor, Paul, has briefly preached on people from the Bible who have had certain "stories." For instance, the first week was about Paul and his conversion. This past Sunday was about Nehemiah stepping out in faith in God. They show videos from members of the chuch sharing what God has been teaching them in their lives and are doing baptisms. It's been really cool. Something that he said on Sunday really struck me. Paul was sharing a story about how when he gets home from work he can hear the footsteps of his youngest son, Will, running through the house. His wife will say, "I wonder where Will is?" to which Paul will respond, "I don't know. I just got home from work but I guess I should go look for him." He will then begin a search for his son, which he said usually ends quickly because Will giggles and makes noises to give him hints. Paul was saying that Will can run from him but he cannot hide and Paul will catch him. He then related it to our lives. Many of us try to run from God. We are never able to hide from him, however. It is better for us to let Him catch us because when he does He will wrap His arms around us and love on us. What an awesome thought.

If you're looking for some good songs to listen to, check out Hillsong United's "From the Inside Out" and Gateway Church's "07 Revelation Song." They make you want to stop whatever you're doing and raise your hands in worship.

Updates and Ramblings

So we are NOT moving now. Tim is calling today to turn down the job offer. It seemed so good in the beginning, but after driving out to the Ann Arbor area last weekend to check out housing, etc. we started feeling unsettled. I think the fact that we couldn't find affordable housing was a way of God saying, "Stop. What am I showing you?" Which then led to 5 days of deep prayer, contemplation, seeking wise and godly counsel, weighing options, etc. Last night Tim said that he did not feel comfortable taking the job and he wants to stay over in West Michigan. I support him in his decision, as I would have supported him if he said he wanted to go. I want him to be happy in his career because it in turn makes our marriage and homelife better. I'm sure the feminists would hate me, but my husband is the head of the household and I am happy to let him be that.
We were talking the other night about the lessons God has been teaching us during this time and there are so many. There is one in particular that I am glad about, and that is the quality of our marriage. This job offer has urged us to speak more openly with each other, and honestly, and has improved our way of communicating with one another. It also has brought us closer and there is a completely different atmosphere when we are together. I am so proud of him and his accomplishments. I know how nervous he was about the interview and that he did it and was offered the position is a huge confidence booster to him. I am proud of him for the way he wants to provide for our family, not only financially, but in every way that he is able. He is the most loving man ever and I couldn't want a better husband (and he's an outstanding father!)
The weather is absolutely gorgeous today! Sunny and warm, a bit of a breeze, but it feels great. When Noah wakes up from his nap I think we'll go for a walk. Get these winter-laden bodies moving around.
I love watching Noah as he grows. He has been in the silliest moods lately. Everything makes him laugh. As I was putting him down for his nap he was laughing as he rolled onto his belly and clutched his blanket to him. The simple amusements in life. I am so excited to experience with him the different things I did growing up. My parents live in the same house I grew up in and their driveway is dirt. When my sister and I were younger, after a summer rain, we used to run around outside in our underwear (my sister in her diaper) and splash in the mud puddles. There are pictures of us sopping wet and covered head to toe in mud and dirt.
We also used to have "pajama dates." My sister and I would be in our pajamas, ready for bed in the summertime, and my parents would say, "Ok. Let's go to the Frosty Boy for some ice cream!" We would go in our pj's and enjoy a nice evening treat. First, Noah will have to get to the point where he can have dairy, but it is a fun idea all the same.
So that is what is happening in our life about now. My niece, Wyndham, turns 2 today. We are celebrating on Sunday and my in-laws are coming into town for the weekend. The time has gone so quickly watching her grow. We will celebrate Noah's second birthday in August.

Changes

Well, well. So much has been going on in my life lately. The biggest is that Tim was offered a job in Ann Arbor that he is going to accept. It is his dream job and he is so excited about it, like a little boy on Christmas morning opening a GI Joe or something. God has been so clear on opening and closing doors for us, that we cannot deny seeing His hand in the process. It will be very hard to leave the west side of the state and our friends here, but we are already setting weekends to come back...it is less than 2 hours away.
I think it is interesting the way life changes. I didn't look back when I left Fowlerville and I spent my whole life there. I have spent 8 years over in this area and it is so sad to think of leaving. I think it is because, although I aged in Fowlerville and grew in years, I grew in maturity and wisdom while living in Grand Rapids. I met my huband here, was married over here, bought (and sold) our first house here, gave birth to my son at Spectrum. There are so many memories for me in Grand Rapids. Even with friends, besides coming across some on myspace and reconnecting in conversation, I have not kept in touch. My friends I have made in Grand Rapids, though, I can tell are my "soul friends" for lack of a better description. Even though some have already moved, we have kept in touch closely, so I know the same will happen when we move.
I think it is also weird because I always pictured raising Noah in Grand Rapids. I know how much Tim and the company he is hiring into wants this to be a permanent position and someday give him employees under his own supervision, so it is weird to think of "settling" and raising a family in the Ann Arbor area. We will not be in Ann Arbor, that is way too expensive, but probably the Pinckney/Dexter area or around there...definitely not Ypsilanti.
So we continue to watch for God's guidance as we wait to hear details of the starting/moving process.
On other notes, it has been a random start to the week. On Monday, I went to take Noah to the doctor for a check up and our car had been broken into. Nothing was taken, but the door wasn't all the way shut and the love compartment, console, cup holders, ashtray, everything was open. I called Tim and the same thing had happened with the van. It figures the one night we forget to lock our doors, the vehicles would be broken into. We consider ourselves blessed, though, because Tim had all his tools in the van and they didn't take anything. They broke into some other cars in our complex and did take things from those.
Our friends, Matt and Jeana, are in town from California and they spent the day over here with us yesterday. We got together last night with a few other friends and it was so much fun. I miss them. I wish we had money to fly back and forth to see each other all the time. The adoption process for them is moving slowly, it looks like spring of 2009 before they have a referral from China. What an ordeal.
We had a great Easter weekend at Tim and Christina's. We made an awesome breakfast, went to Ada Bible Church for service, and then had an incredibly delicious dinner later that day. Christina and I decided that every other year we would do an Easter with friends. We kind of already started the tradition a couple years ago when we got together. Family are your friends away from home. Thank God for them.

Noah and Wyndham visited with the Easter Bunny at Deanna's Playhouse in Holland on Good Friday.

Spring Cleaned Good

I have been planning what to do this Sunday afternoon since last Wednesday. The symphony that I thought had been so perfectly orchestrated a few blog entries past has come to a halt for many reasons. Partly because we could possibly be moving, partly because it was much more stressful than I had anticipated and was causing me to become a grouch to my family, and partly because for the past month that I have been watching them, Noah has been sick for all but about 3 days. I never saw the younger boy not sick and Noah always seemed to end up with the same thing later in the week.
Which is what prompted me to plan my afternoon. Last Friday was my last day watching them. As soon as they were picked up, Noah and I headed to Grand Rapids to pick up Tim from the house he was working at and then drove to my parents' for the night. Tim had an interview for his dream job in Ann Arbor Saturday morning (which went very well, so now we're just waiting to hear back.) We drove back yesterday afternoon so it was a very short trip. Tim was dropped back off in Grand Rapids to go to a Griffins hockey game with a friend and then he drove his own vehicle back afterwards. Noah and I (who are both struggling with colds) came back and after having dinner and watching Baby Neptune collapsed into bed.
I kept Noah occupied this morning while Tim was at church. I especially kept him out of his bedroom and away from all his toys. Tim got home and I put my plan into effect.
I cleaned Noah's room.
I'm not talking just a quick vacuum and tidy up the toys cleaning. I mean an elbow-grease- sanitizing-kick-the-germs-out-spring-cleaning. I opened the window to get some fresh air in and away I went.
We filled up the bathtub with steaming hot water and dish soap and then dumped in every toy that is able to withstand water to soak and clean. Every toy that could not be put in the tub was wiped down with disinfecting wipes.
Tim and Noah were in the kitchen eating lunch when I walked past Noah's room and peered in after putting the last of the toys in the tub. I stopped.
"Let's rearrange Noah's room," I called towards the kitchen.
"What? NO. Why? Huh?" Tim stuttered.
"Why not?" I countered back.
"Because it works the way it is," he argued.
I silently made up my mind to rearrange it myself, figuring the only reason he didn't want to was because of the work.
Before he could stop me, I had grabbed the vaccum and shut myself in Noah's room. I started moving things around, cleaning under dressers and the crib, and in corners that hadn't ever seen the light of the room since we moved in.
An hour later I was done.
I opened the door and Noah came running in. "Wow," he said as he started running around the room in circles. It looks much more spacious and light than it did before. If I'd had the energy I probably would have joined him in running circles.
"Good job," my husband praised. I told him the changes I had made so he could find certain things again.
It feels good to spring clean. To purge things that aren't used or worn anymore. To open windows and let in fresh air (even if it brings pollen and allergens in the process.) It puts me in a great mood and inspires me to make changes in my personal life as well: eating healthier, exercising more, loving the way God created me no matter how I measure up to society's standards. Later, as I was reading the new issue of RealSimple, I read a section on how a good way to declutter is to throw out 50 things that hold you back.
"Hey, Tim, I'm feeling a cleaning mood coming on me," I told him as he sat at the computer.
"You just cleaned," he said without looking at me.
"No. I mean going room to room and throwing things out and really cleaning."
"Oh, great," he muttered.
I'm sure he'll be singing a different tune by the end of the week when the apartment looks stunning.

Not Everyone Was Irish on St. Patrick's Day...

Like father, like son

Y'all Come Back Now...

Last weekend we had the great opportunity to visit Tim's sister, Kristen, her husband, David, and our nephews, Cameron, Owen, and Alec, in Tennessee. The weather was GORGEOUS. The day we arrived, the sun was shining and the temperature was 70 degrees. Flowers were starting to show and my allergies almost immediately started blooming. It was worth it.
On the way home, while driving through a particularly windy and mountainous part of West Virginia, we played the "O, Brother, Where Art Though?" soundtrack. There was something so cool about listening to some mountain music while taking in the beautiful sights. It was a fantastic weekend and we can't wait until the next time we go.

We took a nature walk at an historic park close to their home. This is Tim, me, Owen, and Noah.

This is the best we could get for a family picture. I like Cameron's thoughtful pose.

Noah and Alec eye each other's pacifiers.

At the park, Sycamore Shoals, they were having a "live museum" with many fun things to do and learn. Cameron and Owen tried their hand at the game "Going to Boston." Surprisingly, they beat their opponent the first time they played! I think the old man was in shock because he asked to play again. We also got to see a duel acted out over some cheating during a card game.
On the way home we stopped at my in-laws' home for the night. We look fairly refreshed despite the fact that by this time we had spent only 1 of 4 days NOT travelling and had a horrible night of sleep due to Noah not sleeping well....actually, at all.