It's A Girl!!

Mark Your Calendar - Come On Out!

On Saturday, December 15, Jeana and I will be participating in local radio station JQ99's Craft and Care Holiday Fair. It is held at the Holland Civic Center and you can find information here: http://www.jq99.com/pages/news/fair.shtml. They do ask for a donation to help one of three charities and you can find that information on the same page.


Jeana's profits will be going to her and Matt's adoption fund. They have quite a bit of money to raise yet, but every bit brings the reality of Emma one step closer. You can read their adoption blog by clicking on the "Matt & Jeana" link to the right of this post. My profits will go toward our financial situation at the moment. I wish it could be something more fun, but that's life. =)


Here are items you can find for sale at our booth:

Toddler/Preschooler Elf Hats - Some have ties, some do not. There are 3 different designs. The flower is shown here and there is also a snowman and a star. I wish I could have a picture of the hat on a real head but seeing as Noah won't keep it on long enough for a photo (he's anti-hats) and I didn't have a camera at the last craft show to take a picture of this adorable little girl wearing one...a water bottle will have to do.

*Sorry, baby not for sale! Unless you want the toddler that he is now. Just kidding.* My knitting soulmate, Rachel, made this one for Noah before he was born, but we work off the same pattern. My mom and sister nicknamed them acorn caps. Mine are sold in brown, pink, and blue and the I-cord on the top varies in length on mine. Some knot, some are just large enough to resemble the top of an acorn cap without knotting.
Jeana has the most delicious toffee you'll ever taste for sale. She has some baby items as well that she has made. You can also find that information and pictures on a recent post on her blog. If you can't come out to support us but are interested in purchasing something you see in the pictures on her or my website, let us know! If you can make it out, we'd love for you stop by and say "Hello!" We'll be at The Red Thread table - December 15th from 9:00-2:00.

Pictures!

Here are some pictures that I just received from Cornerstone's Alumni weekend in October. It was the first weekend in October and blazing hot! Thanks so much to Mindy Peterson for sharing these with me. Check out her website at: http://www.thisphotostory.com/ to find out more information about her. She got some great shots that weekend.

Tim and Noah were pretty fascinated by the skydive simulator. We didn't plan their outfits on purpose - brown shirts, khaki shorts. You'll just have that when most boy/men clothes look the same!The Alumni soccer team. Tim can't wait for next year! Apparently, it is as hard for 19 grown men to look in the same direction as it is toddlers to...

And this is my handsome new nephew, Ross, who arrived last Friday evening. We can't wait to meet him at Christmas! Big brother Alec seems to be enchanted by him. The other 2 big brothers are also adjusting well to their newest brother. I become tired just thinking about Tim's sister and husband having 4 boys ages 7 and under! They're fantastic parents.

When God Lets You Fall on Your Bottom, But Then Brings You to Your Knees

**Disclaimer: What I am about to write is not done to seek pity or sympathy. It is done with a broken and hurting heart and a chance to be honest in life and share what God is teaching me.**
This month has been hard. We have not received a paycheck and Tim for the first time (besides helping out a friend with some small projects for gas money) started a job for a client this past Monday. Yes, we took the trip to Fallingwater - mainly because everything was already paid for. We paid for gas, and quite honestly, Tim's birthday money paid for that (he didn't feel bad about it since it allowed him to see something he has dreamed of) and the trip was not taken without much discussion, crying, arguing, and pouring over the bank statement first. We also ate lunch, dinner, and lunch the next day off dollar menus at fast food restaurants.
God has been throwing one lesson after another at us. First, it was to show us how stupid we have been with our finances. We have been so cocky walking around with our "We have no debt" mindset that we weren't putting aside extra money into savings. We were eating out quite a bit, buying things for Noah, buying the little things here and there for ourselves that don't cost much separately and then you add everything together and it's more than you think. We sat down with our October bank statement (since that was a really good month financially and job-related for Tim and we wondered where it all went) and threw every purchase into a category. It was embarassing, absolutely embarassing. Had we actually stuck to the budget we had made months ago, we could have put a large amount into our savings and had Step 1 for Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover ($1000 in Emergency Fund) completed. It would have been a huge help for us in this month...but we didn't do that. We now kick ourselves, yet we're keeping our categorized October sheet and have it where we can see it so that we don't make the same mistake again. God has taught us the importance of good stewardship - a hard lesson to learn when you think you already know it. Ouch.
The second lesson is more of a reminder, that God never leaves you and will provide for your needs. It's rarely in the way I think He should handle it (just send me some random checks in the mail and I can pay the bills. Has anyone else ever prayed for that long-lost distant relative to die of natural age after a happy life and miraculously have known about you and leaves you their inheritance? Or is that just my overactive imagination?) More often it is in a way that humbles us. For instance, our current situation is that since Tim is self-employed and we have the pleasure of living in a state with a down-spiral economy for his line of business, we can't afford good insurance like what most people have through employers. Instead, we have a Health Savings Account, which I think is great and I have no complaints about it, yet it doesn't cover maternity. It also costs much more to have a baby than what the rep had told us to expect. We were expecting to put aside at least $8,000 and that's only for a no-complications birth with no anesthesia. We had no idea how we would afford this. Enter God. We now qualify for Michigan's Healthy Kids program, which is a form of Medicaid. Our stress of finding money to pay for our son or daughter is now not in our lives anymore. I also automatically qualify for WIC since I'm on Healthy Kids, and since I qualify and Noah is under the age of 5, he automatically qualifies as well. That will be a help with the groceries that we have been scrimping on lately. Yes, we're eating. We're just eating creatively as we like to call it (don't worry, everything is edible and a food.)
I think that a huge lesson Tim and I have learned from being on Healthy Kids and WIC (we had to do this when I was pregnant with Noah because I was laid off during my pregnancy so we lost our insurance and Tim's job didn't provide it) is that you can't judge people on Medicaid, Food Stamps, or Wic. More often than not, and I use to think this myself, most people assume that those using these services are lazy or women who get knocked up constantly to get support from the government or not trying in life. I would say we break that stereotype. We're definitely not lazy, I don't want to spend anymore time after this pregnancy knocked up, and we are trying. It's embarassing to answer a question on a WIC form that says "How many grades of school have you completed?" and answer "College graduate with bachelor's degree" and yet I need help.
Help. What a word. That's another thing we've learned. Tim and I are prideful. We needed to fall on our butts. We have a hard time asking for help when it comes to finances. We don't want to. We don't want to admit that we don't have everything together. We can ask for help moving, we can ask for help with needing a baby-sitter to watch Noah, we can ask for help as long as it doesn't require money. We were hiding our problems from our parents until my mom recently started to put together the fact that Tim was always home during the day when she would call and when I told her we hadn't started Christmas shopping yet. You don't want to admit that you're in your mid to late twenties with a child and another on the way and you don't know how you're going to pay for gas or groceries that week. She told me that if in two weeks we don't have money for Noah's Christmas gifts, than she is giving us money for them rather than supporting the angel tree family she usually does. She said that she knows the angel tree family and, although they do never seem to have money at Christmas, she has seen them buying cigarettes and alcohol throughout the rest of the year. Now there's something that will humble you: when your own mother pretty much "adopts" you as her needy family for Christmas.
That's when you realize you have become the person you stereotyped and your judgment about them was wrong. I'm not saying that nobody ever takes advantage of "the system," but we jump to conclusions too often without knowing the circumstances. You don't want to be the name on the tree that someone picks off, you don't want to be the woman with the toddler in line at the WIC office, you don't want to show your MIHealth card when you visit the doctor. Yet this is where God has us right now. This is the way He is providing right now...and He is providing.
I love the support system God has revealed. A girlfriend of mine and her husband have been in a similar situation so I feel I can be completely honest with her and she gets me. She knows. My mom told me that for a time early in their marriage they were in the same spot and eating a lot of ramen noodles and macaroni and cheese. We were having a great conversation with Tim's parents while visiting and Tim asked what their roughest time financially ever was. They said there was a time period in which they were eating lots of oatmeal and praying that there would somehow be enough money to pay bills. A counselor friend of mine said that her mom recently revealed to her that when my friend was young, they would hold garage sales just to have money to buy groceries that week. Her mom also started sewing their own clothes. My grandma told my mom that the reason she worries so much about us is that she and my grandpa were in the same spot years ago before my mom was born. Sometimes my grandpa was only making $1 a week and they had 2 kids at the time. What I love is looking at where these people are at now. I love the strength they all show, the careful way they handle their finances because they know that at any point something could happen. I love that they truly can empathize with you because they have experienced it as well.
God is not providing with money I can hold in my hand at the moment, but he is preventing certain bills from reaching our mailbox. He is providing relief when it comes to groceries. He is providing open lines of communication between Tim and me because we have to constantly discuss these things to make sure we are always on the same page. He is drawing us closer to each other and closer to Him. Tim said the other night, "This is an adventure, not one we pictured, but I still want to travel it with you. At the end of it, I want us to stand together to see how God brings us out so we can look back and praise Him for it as well as during it."
In conclusion, I think that God lets you fall on your bottom when you have some lessons to learn. Yet He doesn't leave you there. If you're at the bottom, the only good view is up and the only place to go is up. First we have to get on our knees and spend some time there. Then He will take our hands and help us climb.

Home for Awhile...

What a crazy past couple weeks! We have been gone more than home and it has been exhausting. As of now we have no travel plans until the weekend before Christmas, so I have a good month to just be in one house.
Tim and I went to Mill Run, Pennsylvania a couple weekends ago to celebrate his birthday. He has been wanting to visit Frank Lloyd Wright's Fallingwater so I planned a weekend trip out there. It was a nice weekend away for the two of us, with my parents watching Noah while we were gone. After touring the amazing house, we headed to Tim's parents for the rest of the weekend and had a chance to visit with family.

The infamous view of Fallingwater that you will typically see in books.

The morning that we left, I had a voicemail informing me of the death of a friend of my family's. Since Tim has been slow with work, we were able to stay at my parents' house for a couple days until I could attend the viewing with my parents and sister. It was so weird. She was my parents' age, the mother of a childhood friend of mine. She has a husband and three daughters, two who are engaged. The oldest, my age, is getting married next month and it is heartbreaking to think that her mom will not be there...that the hurt will still be so fresh...although I doubt the hurt of losing a parent ever goes away.
We finally arrived home and I knitted like a mad-woman to finish some projects to sell in a craft show that Jeana and I were a part of. Overall, it went...ok. I don't think anyone sold much of anything, really. It was a weird time of day and in an odd part of town, although the house it was in was gorgeous. It was a fun experience though, and it got me out of the house for the day and I got to spend some time with Jeana and a woman we used to work with in admissions at Cornerstone, who was there selling some things as well. We are putting some of the leftover items in a craft fair on Cherry Street in Grand Rapids this Saturday, and are entered in another one on December 15th. Somewhere within all that craftiness I have to find time to read "The Count of Monte Cristo" for the book club I'm in. I had better start that... Just one of the many recent projects. This one is from the book, "Bend the Rules Sewing." If you are a sewer, I would highly recommend it. The patterns are adorable, fun, and somewhat simple! Just ignore the water bottle model-head. =)

After being home for a whopping 6 days, we took off again for my parents' house, this time to celebrate Thanksgiving. We went earlier than usual so that Tim could paint some rooms at my grandma's house. We had a great time while there. My parents recently bought a Wii (before they became sold out everywhere) and you would not believe how much exercise that provides! My arms have finally stopped aching from the boxing and tennis.

Tim, Noah, and me at the Festival of Lights Parade in Howell the night after Thanksgiving. It was so cold, the parade started late, and we were unwisely at the end of the route...so we only got to see a few floats before heading home to save our frozen limbs.

Now we are home again. I'm glad we came back on a Saturday so that we could attend our church this morning. It turned out to be a distracting service for Tim and me, as Noah's nursery number was displayed on the screen and that hasn't happened since the first time we attended over a year ago. It turns out he was playing catch with someone, tripped, and hit something on his way down. His tooth sliced open his lip and I have never seen so much blood come from a toddler's lip. It took a few minutes to stop the bleeding and now he is running around with a fat lip that is sporting a gash. Thankfully, it didn't happen right away so we could at least experience what turned out to be the emotional part of the service for me.
There are a lot of things going on in mine and Tim's lives right now, most of them being financial. I had (another) breakdown last night about it and Tim was great at reminding me the ways that God has continued to provide for us, even if they haven't been checks in the mail like what I wish would happen. Today, Matt was recapping this month's series and started describing the second week, which we missed due to Tim's birthday trip. I've taken the summary from his blog (http://web.mac.com/journeymatt/iWeb/matts%20blog/blog/blog.html):

"we looked at Isaiah. He was someone who didn’t feel good about himself or the situation he was in - his country is falling apart and his king has died. But he sees God in a real way for the first time and it changes everything. He shifts from “Woe is me” to “Wow, it’s God”. Isaiah’s message to the nations and to us is turn to God and find strength (Is. 12, Is. 33, Is. 40). The theme for this week was Relying on God’s Strength by shifting our perspective from the problem to the Provider. We talked about how we view life through filters...like the Lions. We can’t put hope in them because they have let us down so many times (like TODAY). So, let’s shift to view life through the filter of God. This is more than just positive thinking. It is trusting that God is with us, faithful to us, and that His divine power can give us everything we need for life. When we stop dwelling on the situation and shift to the solution in our Savior, we can find that our problems don’t seem as big because God is bigger and we can find strength for every day."

I felt like God had hit me in the head with a 2x4, explaining to me that my problems are starting to overtake me. They occupy my every waking thought and drive me crazy as I try to figure out a solution on my own. I needed to be reminded, like last night by Tim, the ways that He has provided for us and that He will continue to. He is the Provider. It's not usually in the ways I expect, but I never seem to be displeased with it when I look back. I just become so impatient in the time of waiting to see how He is going to work, or what miracle He is going to perform to get us out of the jam we're in.
I'm so thankful this weekend - for an awesome and loving husband, for an adventurous and adorable toddler, for a life inside me that I do not yet know by name but by movement and that unbelievable bond between a mother and unborn child, for family and friends, for a church filled with outstanding people, for having no debt, and for knowing the love and forgiveness of a God who continues to speak and provide even if I feel deaf and alone.

My baby boy...

...is not so baby anymore! We converted his crib to the toddler, well actually, we did the daybed so that he would still have a rail on one side. He loves his new freedom of being able to get in and out of bed when he wants. We love that he wakes up, turns on his light, and plays by himself for a bit in the morning before coming to get us. Added sleep for us!

"Helping" Daddy convert the crib. Testing out the mattress.

This is where we have found him the past 2 days during nap time. We have to gently move him back into his bed.

Can You See What I See?

Focus on the Family gave a grant to the Muskegon Pregnancy Services for an ultrasound machine. They were looking for pregnant women between 6 and 20 weeks to train on. Who can turn down a free ultrasound? Not me. Especially since it will be another 5 weeks before our "big" ultrasound where we find out gender, make sure all the anatomy looks correct, etc. and I have been longing to see my baby!
Apparently, he or she is very active as they kept telling me this while trying to get a good shot. I like this one because it is almost identical to one of Noah's 20 week pictures. They both have a hand by their heads in the picture. Like brother like...baby. So can you see the baby in the photo?

I Feel Like I'm Falling for Fall...

That is part of a little song played on the Noggin channel but it describes how I feel about this season! Thanks to our friend, Jeana, for the fun picture above. She came over to drop something off I had forgotten at their house and ended up staying for a little visit. She brought her camera since it was such a beautiful fall day and she took some pictures while we were playing outside in the leaves. This was my sneak peek photo - I can't wait to see the rest!

What a fun couple of weeks we have had. Noah is completely binky-free. Bedtimes were a breeze, we had a few rough naptimes, but overall it's been great. This past Saturday my grandma held a little Halloween party for the family. Here are some pictures. Tim and I went as an Amish couple. We got the idea because of his beard and the comments people make about him looking Amish when it starts to get long.

Noah was a dinosaur. My dad, the garbage man, is feeding him pieces of a cookie. My mom put a garbage bag over her, taped food to it and went as the garbage he collected. They originally did this for a church harvest party years ago and brought it back this year.My niece, Kailyn, was a fairy - a U of M fairy if you factor in her turtleneck onesie.The whole crazy family: (in back) garbage, garbage man, Ricky & Lucy Ricardo, a witch, a spooky person, a couple of hippies, the headless horseman and his vampire girlfriend, and Bonnie & Clyde; (in front) an injured person and his doctor, with their fairy child, a pumpkin, the phantom of the opera, amish Tim, dinosaur Noah, a green fairy, spiderman, and amish me.

My cousin, Casey, and his girlfriend, Jessica, were not able to make it due to the fact they had their baby that morning, 3 weeks early. Welcome to the world, Gavin! He weighed in at a healthy 7 pounds, 15 ounces and was 20 1/2 inches long - we think they had the due date wrong. Jessica had a dream labor, the entire thing was less than 3 hours long from the first contraction to the time Gavin made his appearance. Oh, jealousy.

Tonight we took Noah trick or treating. All the stores in downtown Grand Haven hand out candy from 4-6pm. We thought this would be better than going to the houses in our neighborhood since we don't know any of our neighbors. While driving downtown I thought, "I hope there are at least a couple other trick or treaters so we don't look out of place." This is what we were not expecting:

They actually close down the main street and the place was chaos! You basically end up in this line of people that moves from door to door, or store to store. We ended at the library, where Noah played for a little bit before heading home.

I started really feeling the baby moving this week. It's still not all the time, but usually when I am falling asleep at night I'll feel something slightly stronger than the flutter. I have an ultrasound coming up on Saturday morning that I'm very excited about. I'll post a picture after I have one.

To end, here are some random pictures from this past month...

He loves apples, big and small. This one is at Robinette's in Grand Rapids. He also enjoyed playing on this large tree.

Breaking Binky

So there are a couple things I would like to accomplish before the baby comes in April. I talked them over with Noah's pediatrician yesterday while there for an appointment and he gave me some tips and advice on how to smoothly transition. I told him I wanted to break the binky addiction, move him to a toddler bed (he is trying to climb out of his crib now. He gets his leg on the top railing, but doesn't have enough umph to get over the edge yet), and work on potty training. I don't want to focus on that one until after Christmas though.

He told me that with the potty training, to watch for his cues that he is ready. He said that if we try to push it too soon then he will rebel and not do it. He uses his little potty every once in awhile now, but when we ask him if he wants to use it and he says "no" we never push it. So we'll really just keep doing the same until he says "yes."

With going from the crib to toddler bed, he just said to make sure that we keep the door shut tight or locked so that he can realize that just because he has this new freedom with a big boy bed and being able to get in and out of it whenever he wants, it does not give him the freedom to walk around the house whenever he wants. He said he'll probably test the barrier (the door) for a few nights, realize it's not budging, and then fall asleep quicker at night.

Then there was the binky topic. He said it's definitely time to get rid of it. Right now Noah only uses it during nap and bedtimes, or in times of total crisis. He suggested, and I had read this in a magazine last week, going to a toy store and letting him pick out a toy (preferably a stuffed animal or something he can sleep with) and then having him "pay" for it with his binky.

So we put the plan into action last night, expecting a rough bedtime and no sleep during the night. We went to Toys-R-Us and Target and there were lots of things he liked and wanted, but not enough to give up his binky for. I also think it was a bit overwhelming because there are SO many toys that he was easily distracted. Finally on the way home Tim said, "We're stopping at Hage's and you're going to run in and see if they have a Bob or Larry stuffed animal." I ran in and all they had was a 2 1/2 foot tall Larry Boy. I ran out to the van and told Tim he can look at it and be the one to decide. A few minutes later he came out with a giant bag disguising the Larry Boy inside.

Once home, we took it out and watched Noah's reaction. He was excited about it.

"Do you like Larry Boy?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to keep Larry Boy and sleep with him in your crib?"

"Yes."

"Then you need to give up binky."

"No." He turned and walked down the hall.

Then he stopped, ran back and started pointing out Larry's eyes and his plunger ears.

"Do you want to give me binky and you can have Larry?" I held out my hand expecting the usual reaction.

He spit binky out into my hand, grabbed Larry and carried him off into his room. Tim and I stared at each other in shock.

"Quick," Tim said. "We need to get him to bed before he realizes what he's done."

A short amount of time later, we closed his bedroom door as he quietly said, "Binky. Binky, please. I want binky please."

I went into our bedroom and cried, feeling like a mom who had just taken away her child's best friend. Actually, I sobbed. It's quite pathetic but I will blame it on pregnancy hormones. Tim just sat next to me and laughed. We listened to Noah talk to himself, talk to Larry, talk to his dinosaur, and sing the VeggieTales theme song for about a half hour. I cried for about 5 minutes during that time. Tim said it was harder to deal with me than with Noah.

After a half hour, there was quiet. After 10 minutes of quiet I checked on him. He was completely asleep with Dinosaur at his feet and Larry Boy at his side. We were shocked he never cried yet prepared ourselves for a rough night ahead, figuring he would wake up and find the absence of binky.

He never woke up once.

I checked on him three times to make sure he was alive.

He asked for it once when he woke up this morning, but when Tim reminded him he traded it for Larry Boy, he didn't mention it again.

Success.

We'll see how naptime and tonight's bedtime go.

Candy Corn Thief

I hate candy corn. Tim, however, loves it so I buy it for him and stick it in a little Halloween dish. Apparently, Noah loves it as well. In fact, Noah loves it so much that I caught him yesterday with his hand in the candy dish. Literally. He had dragged over a chair from the dining room, climbed up, and was shoveling candy corn into his mouth as fast as he could. He looked like he had little chipmunk cheeks. This morning after he woke up, but while I was still trying to function, I could hear him dragging a chair across the floor and knew exactly what he was doing. Fortunately, Tim was still home and caught him before he could get it over to the counter. He's a sneaky one...
He is so proud of himself.

1st and 2!

First trimester was officially done on Friday, two more to go at this point. Morning sickness is still going full-force, proving to me that it doesn't always magically stop at 12 weeks like it did with Noah.

We had an appointment yesterday afternoon and were able to hear the heartbeat for the first time. It was good and strong, up in the 160s, higher than Noah's was. For all you old wives' tale believers, I've been told that this is the sign of a girl, but I am not putting stock in it. We brought Noah with us (the last time that will happen as we ended up waiting for an hour before the doctor finally came in) and he was quite mesmerized by the sound of the heartbeat. We have also managed to confuse him, as when we now point to his belly and ask what it's called, he responds with "Baby." Yikes!

We had a fantastic weekend. I dropped Noah off to my parents on Wednesday night with the intent of getting him on Saturday. When I called Saturday morning to see what time I should come, they said my dad had taken the day off and they were enjoying him so much they wanted to know if we could come on Sunday. No problem! They loved their time with him and he was, as usual, spoiled with new coloring and sticker books, Halloween books, pajamas, a pumpkin to keep at their house, and a movie.

We loved our time alone. Especially me! Thursday I did all the things that are hard to do with him now, like going to Motherhood Maternity and trying on clothes, going to Barnes and Noble and reading, checking out the new Target. That night we went along with Matt & Jeana's youth group to the Relient K/Switchfoot concert. It was very good, although I think I am getting old.

Friday was a day I had never experienced before. I actually stayed in bed until 4:00 in the afternoon! I would get up to make food and then bring it back into bed to eat. The only reason I got up and showered at all was because that night we went on our first double date with our friends Matt & Stephani (whose daughter was visiting her grandparents this weekend.) We have known them for a year but never not had the kids on the same weekend.

Saturday Tim and I spent the day going around the shops in Grand Haven and Spring Lake. We also visited the local Goodwill to get clothes to make up our Halloween costumes. My grandma is having a costume party on Saturday.

So it was a great weekend. There were a couple little glitches, arguments and whatnot, but they ended well. I talked to my mom Monday morning and she said she is already missing Noah and wanting him back for another visit. I said, "Anytime, Mom. Anytime."

Justin Timberlake wannabe

I had the radio on as I was cleaning tonight. While cleaning the bathroom, I could hear a voice I know quite well singing along with Justin Timberlake. I peeked around the corner into the living room and found a little dancer. I'm not sure if I should be proud he knows some of the words or not...

This is October?!

I can't believe it's already October. I can't believe it's in the 80's for weather.
Saturday we attended Family Day for Cornerstone University's Alumni weekend. There wasn't much for Noah's age, besides sidewalk chalk, which is only fun for so long. If we had been without children, or have older children, it would have been more fun in terms of things to do. So we drew with some sidewalk chalk, visited with people that we haven't seen since our college days, and had lunch on campus. After lunch, I dropped Noah off at Scott & Jen's (thanks again, Jen!) They baby-sat him so that I could watch Tim play in the Alumni soccer game. He did so well! He played soccer his first year at Cornerstone, but I didn't know who he was at that time, so when I watched the games, I was never watching him. Therefore, it was fun to watch him actually play with guys that he used to. The weather was unbearable. We were dripping in sweat just sitting in the bleachers watching. We felt so sorry for the players! They played for about an hour straight with a brief 3 minute half-time and no water provided on the sidelines, as well as no subs to relieve them. Yet Tim loved every minute of it and wants to start playing every year.
Yesterday, we worked up a sweat again while cleaning out the mini-van. Actually, Tim did most of the cleaning while I supervised Noah playing in the yard, but I did help out a bit where I could. We now have a sparkling vehicle, just like new! It's actually probably a good thing to do if you are ever get the itch to get a new car. Just clean out the one you have, wash the inside of the windows, vacuum everything, dust it, clean out the trash and voila! New car, or at least a looks-like-new-car.
Over the weekend Tim and I spent some time online at www.family.org and www.familylife.com listening to recent broadcasts. We listened to a very funny one by Dennis Swanburg, who is a pastor and could pass as a comedian easily. That was on Focus on the Family's website. We also listened to a marriage-related broadcast by Tommy Nelson on FamilyLife today. We made a note of some others we would like to listen to. I would suggest taking some time to check out the websites as well.
Tonight is our small group and afterwards we head over to Matt and Jeana's. Jeana and I are going to be working on sewing some Christmas stockings tonight, as well as some potholders and other random projects. It's fun to be crafty.
Our church started a sermon series called "Duets" this month. It's about marriage. It led to a good discussion for Tim and I yesterday after I asked him if he felt like we were singing a duet or if we are out of tune. He said he feels like we are out of tune because of how busy we were last month. It is hard to focus on your marriage when you are going, going, going. We are glad that when we look at October, there is only one Saturday event and the rest is completely open. We even have a whole weekend without Noah coming up in a couple weeks. We are looking forward to that very much. My friend, Rachel, was telling me about how she and her husband spent her birthday just the two of them in Saugatuck and I loved hearing about it. I think it's great when we, as young parents, can leave our children (knowing they are safe with whoever's care we put them in) and can take the time to spend with just one another. It's so easy to let ourselves be defined by our children and overwhelmed with everything in life. It's so necessary to take that time out and go on a date, or even just to stay in and have no interruptions. So this month Tim and I will be working on our harmonizing.
I am looking forward to Wednesday and what is forecast as 57 degrees. I will be finally breaking out and putting up my fall decorations. This, hopefully, is the last of our summer.

Busy Bees

We have had many things going on in our lives. I think after this weekend, we actually get to relax (whew. )

We had a great visit with Jack and Kelly (and Owen) this past weekend. You forget just how much you miss someone until you spend time with them again. We took the kids to a fun park not far from where they live. It has a small zoo there as well (and I mean small. We're talking monkeys, lynxes, prairie dogs, a bald eagle, and a petting zoo with pigs, goats, and miniature horses.) It was such a blast, though, and the kids were loving it. The rest of the time we relaxed and visited. Tim and Noah pretend to be prairie dogs.Owen is a perfect combination of both his parents' looks. It was good for Noah to have a little boy to play blocks and trucks with.

Our flamingo. This was the only hole he could reach his head into.

Monday night our small group started up again. It was good to all hang out and we also welcomed a new family in. They have twin boys, so now Noah is not outnumbered anymore! Afterwards we went to Matt & Jeana's and played with their new Wii that they got over the weekend. It is SOOOO much fun and easily addicting. Then the boys watched "Heroes" and Jeana & I discussed our sewing projects.

Tuesday night we found ourselves at Matt & Jeana's (again!) for Harvest Moon Festival, an important Chinese holiday. Jeana describes it as Thanksgiving without the Pilgrims and Indians. It is a time to celebrate harvest and family. There were 9 of us in all celebrating (including Noah, who hit the hay after dinner.) We had a great Chinese meal that Jeana had prepared and tried out some mooncakes for dessert. NOT so good. The wintermelon tasted a little like fig, but I still couldn't eat it. The lotus mooncake was the worst thing I had tasted in my life and I have had some nasty things. I spit it out the second it touched my tongue, as did others who tried it. Thankfully, there was a back-up dessert of cookies and ice cream. We then made our way out to the TV and the Wii. Tim and I won the bowling tournament and I beat him in tennis (that was a first.) When it comes to the homerun derby, though...I was definitely one of the losers.

Yesterday afternoon I made my way into Grand Rapids with Noah. We visited with our friends, Jen, Maddie and Leighton for a bit and then met Tim. We had dinner at Dave and Holly's and got to meet their new baby, Jaden. He's a cutie, and a very good baby from what we could see. It was nice to visit with them. Again, you forget how much you miss people when you don't see them that often.

Today I finished reading for my book club tonight. We're meeting at my house and I still have a lot of cleaning up to do, as well as some baking. We are discussing "Nineteen Minutes" by Jodi Picoult. I put off reading the book until yesterday because I had found out it was about a school shooting and I just wasn't looking forward to it. It turned out to be a fascinating book and I am so glad to have read it. The only other book I have read by her is "My Sister's Keeper" which I would also recommend. She is able to write a book and her characters in such a way that you get everyone's perspective and you don't feel that she is necessarily taking sides. She always seems to throw in a surprising twist that throws you completely off-guard at the end. It was hard to read as a parent of young children because it makes me wonder what my children will grow up to be like, but I think parents and educators should take the time to read it. One of the subjects it tackles is bullying and the effects it has on a teenager. Jodi Picoult does a great job of taking the gray issues in life, the ones you don't want to take time to think about, and presents them in a very real way by throwing in characters whose emotions you can actually feel as you read the book.

It is chilly right now. I actually have on pants and a long-sleeve shirt and there is a light rain falling outside. I'm going to make pumpkin bread for our book club tonight. I would say that fall is right around the corner, but this Saturday is supposed to be at least 75 degrees.

Sugar Pea Ross is doing well as far as we can tell. Still causing me to have miserable mornings and snack all day to keep food in my stomach or else I get sick. I just keep telling myself they are reminders that there is life inside.

Emotional Wreck

Pregnancy is wearing down my hormones and emotions. I remember crying quite a bit while pregnant with Noah, but it was mostly during things that could be justified. For instance, I would hear Eric Clapton singing "You Look Wonderful Tonight" and think it was just the most romantic thing and break down in tears. Then I would listen to Sara Groves' song "Beautiful Child." The waterworks went full force during that one. Even more after he was actually born and I could really relate to the lyrics.

This time around....I cry during anything. We were watching an episode of "WonderPets" the other day. Who was crying? Me. When MingMing says, "We are coming to save you little tree, because you are a living thing" you would have thought I had been told my best friend died. Last night we went to Matt & Jeana's for dinner. Afterwards, Jeana, Noah & I watched an episode of "Arthur" that Jeana had recorded that was discussing adoption. Binky was getting a baby sister from China. OK, this is a cartoon. A CARTOON, just like WonderPets. Cried. What is my problem? I also cried in the movie, "Cars." That was when I started suspecting I might be pregnant since we hadn't actually taken the test yet.
I am reading a book called "Knit Together" by Debbie Macomber. It's great so far, very inspiring. Pick it up if you get a chance. Anyways, she was writing about how her childhood librarian was Beverly Clearly, which I thought was awesome! I mean, who doesn't love Ramona Quimby? Plus, I love books and reading and writing so much that I guess this was just really exciting to me. After I read that part I said out loud, "Well, that's cool." Tim asked, "What?" I started to tell him and next thing I know, I can't speak because I'm so choked up! This then made Tim think it must be something really cool because, obviously, I am emotional about it. When I could finally tell him, he looked at me and just laughed. I think he's getting used to this.
Oh, well.
My niece, Kailyn, turned 1 this past Sunday. I would love to be able to post pictures from the party, but the batteries in my camera died as soon as I turned it on when we got there. Bummer. Here is a recent one of her anyways:

What a cutie.

Well, that's about it. I am getting really excited to go visit Jack & Kelly this weekend. Kelly and I are going to go into Indianapolis and hit the H&M and some other fun stores. By ourselves. No husbands, no kids. I probably won't be shopping for me since I won't be wearing normal clothes too much longer, but there are a couple things Tim needs, and it's always fun to window shop.

Sugar Pea Ross

So this is our latest news.
I am 7 1/2 weeks pregnant with a little life that Tim has nicknamed "Sugar Pea." I think it was because we had sugar peas for dinner the evening of this ultrasound so it was in his head...
Anyways, our due date is April 26th, and we had a rough few days last week with some different pains and bleeding, but all is good now. My HCG and progestorone levels are exactly where they should be and the baby's heartrate was a strong 131 bpm. I think that is slower than Noah's was, but the ultrasound tech and ER doctor said it's great and the chance of miscarriage is less than 1%. All babies are different and all pregnancies are different, which has never been more true in my case.
We weren't planning on sharing our new this early on, but after our good report Friday night, Tim said "Let's start telling!" (Think he's excited?) I was talking to my friend, Rachel, yesterday (who is also pregnant, though much farther along) and we were discussing how much more joy you feel as you're able to share it with others. It makes me feel less worried, more relieved and free to talk about it.
Noah says he wants a sister. I tell him there's not much I can do about it at this point. I don't even know if he really understands what is going on anyways. I think he just likes to say "I want sister."
I LOVE the change in weather we have had in Grand Haven. It is cooler and windy and feels like fall! I have on a sweatshirt and the house smells like the roast that is cooking in the crockpot. Yummy. Bring on the hearty autumn meals.
In a couple weeks "Heroes" starts back up. Tim and our friend, Matt N., love the show so last night we decided it would become a date night for all of us. We are going to meet at Logan's for dinner because on Mondays and Tuesdays they have a 2 For $12.99 dinner special (with awesome options!) and $2 kids meals. Then we'll go to Matt & Jeana's and put Noah to sleep. The boys will watch their TV show and Jeana and I are going to sew and knit and have some crafty time because we don't watch the show. We have some projects in mind to work on, especially with Christmas coming up! The only glitch is that Tim and I have small group every other Monday night, so we'll go watch the show after group and skip the dinner part (which we decided was more budget friendly anyways.)
This past weekend was the only weekend in September that we are going to be in town. This weekend and the last weekend we will be in Fowlerville for a party and a baby shower and the weekend between we're traveling to Indiana to visit Jack & Kelly. Woo-hoo! I am way excited about that trip.
I think as long as Noah is down for a nap, I might catch some sleep as well. Have a blessed day!

Making Memories

We had a great weekend visiting Tim's family in Ohio. His sister and her family come up from Tennessee and we all spend the weekend somewhat relaxing. It's only somewhat relaxing once you have kids. Before that it was very relaxing. =)

We had a couple odd moments. The first was when we found my nephew, Cameron, running around screaming in his sleep outside in the middle of the night. He didn't remember a single thing the next morning. The other was when his brother, Owen, fell over the side of the pontoon boat while we were fishing. Fortunately, we were not moving and he was wearing a lifejacket. Boys will be boys!

We had a lot of fun moments too. The kids enjoyed being outside every moment of the day before and after naptime. The adults enjoyed their time together after the kids went to sleep at night. We watched a Brian Regan DVD (he is too funny!), had a bonfire, and just sat around catching up. It is only once or twice a year that we are all together at the same time. We played on the jetski, pontoon boat, I got to go along and watch Tim wakeboard with some family friends.

As the family expands with babies and as they grow into fun-loving and active toddlers and on into childhood, the place seems more and more crowded and crazy. Yet it all feels like home at the same time. There are five grandchildren at the moment, ranging in age from 21 months to 6 years old.

So we had a great weekend and look forward to next year and however many more kids will be added into the mix (Tim's sister is pregnant at the moment and you never know what can happen with the rest of us over the course of a year.)

Every Labor Day commences with the taking of the annual Christmas photo for Mom & Dad Ross' Christmas card. Notice the adults have on matching Eddie Bauer t-shirts.... Kristen and me on the boat. My fourth nephew is due in early December.

Tim and a tired Noah during our last-night sunset pontoon boat ride.

Cricket crushing dreams

We have a cricket that has set up his home outside our bedroom window.
I want to crush him.
I never hear him during the day. Then again, I am rarely in my bed during the day. At night...it is a different story. I sleep in my bed. The window is at the head of our bed. Normally, I don't actually mind crickets, well, their sound anyways. I don't really like any bug to be near me. At this point in my life, though, I hate the cricket sound.
I have been having trouble sleeping. For the past month I have been getting these mild enough, yet annoying, tension headaches. They mostly come at night either before I fall asleep, in the middle of the night, or when I wake up...sometimes a combo of all three. I also have to use the bathroom multiple times during the night. This is just who I am. I have a tilted uterus and it rests on my bladder, so it can't fill up as much as I wish. I have always had to pee often. I should list it under my hobbies: peeing (in a toilet of course) because I do it all the time. Pregnancy did not help.
So last night I am having trouble falling asleep because of my headache. I had taken Tylenol and was waiting for it to start taking effect when I can hear Mr. Cricket start his chirping.
Chirp chirp chirp. I try to block it out by praying. Chirp chirp chirp. Soon I begin praying for an animal to come along and eat him.
I realize after about ten minutes that it is silent. I breath a sigh of relief, thinking maybe he really has been eaten, or is just out wandering somewhere else. My mind starts to slowly drift toward dream land....chirp chirp chirp. My eyes fly open. That demon.
Now I have to pee.
I settle myself back into bed and for the next hour wrestle with sleep, a headache, and a sing-song cricket. Finally sleep comes.
Until midnight. I realize I have to pee, although the headache is gone. When I crawl back into bed, all is quiet. As I close my eyes I hear chirp.....chirp chirp.....chirp. Does he have sensors or something? Does he know when I am trying to fall asleep? Does he know how much I loathe him and thinks the same of me?
After a half hour I fall back asleep.
Needless to say the routine repeats itself around 3:30. The horrible thing is that this time I can't fall asleep for almost two hours! If I wasn't so scared of being outside in the dark I would take a flashlight and hunt him down. I would squash him and put an end to all his chirping.
But I am scared of the outdoors at night.
And I don't know where our flashlight is anyways.
Does anyone have any ideas on how to kill a cricket?
I just want a decent night of sleep again.

Two Years, Too Old

Two years ago I had the most difficult and painful day of my life.

Two years ago I had the most exhilirating and rewarding day of my life.

I gave birth on August 16, 2005.

Yesterday we celebrated Noah's second birthday. Where does the time go? I tried to give him a fun birthday, even though he didn't really understand the significance of the day at his age.

Throughout the day I would glance at the clock and think of what I was doing two years ago that moment. I woke up at 5:00 am to use the bathroom and thought, "Two years ago my parents and sister were arriving at our house in Grand Rapids. We were watching the morning news on WZZM13 and timing contractions."

Noah woke up at 7:30 and as I went to get home out of his crib I thought, "I was in triage waiting for a room to open."

I gave him a big hug as I lifted him from his crib and told him, "Happy birthday pumpkin!" Wow. Two years ago he had not even breathed from this world yet. Now he is such a big boy.

We had breakfast and got dressed. My sister and parents called to wish him a happy birthday.

I thought it would be fun to go to a little park not far from where we live to play. I put him in his stroller and pushed him down to the playground. It was a beautiful day and so far there had been no temper tantrums. Awesome.

I watched him run on the playground from one toy to the next. I looked at his chubby toddler thighs and thought of how skinny they were when he was born. I watched the way he climbed the stairs to the top of the slide and thought of how they used to flail about with no control when we unswaddled him.

I noticed that he still is as intense as he was when he was a newborn. His nurses in the hospital would comment on the way he seemed to be taking everything in, his serious little disposition. Just two weeks ago, when I picked him up from the nursery in church, the workers were commenting on how when he would inspect something, his brow would furrow and he would stare intensely at it.

My heart melted as I pushed him on the merry-go-round and he looked up at me and said "love you." I love you, too.

I have loved you since before you were born. I loved you when you were just a thought in my mind. I loved you more at every doctor's appointment when I heard your heartbeat and saw your little profile on the ultrasound machine. I loved every movement I felt inside me as you grew.

I loved you when I felt my first contraction that woke me at 1:30 am two years ago. I loved you with every push that brought you closer to entering the room with me, with every scream and thought of wanting to give up, yet knowing it was what I had to go through to see you.

I loved you when they placed you on my chest and I counted your tiny fingers and toes. I loved you as your dad sobbed harder than you and me together as he held you for the first time. Then came the day I looked at you and thought my heart was going to burst from the ache I felt of how much I loved you. No one could describe how strong this love would be.

Even with how much I loved you in those first moments and weeks, I love you even more today. I love the strong boy you have become. I love the laughter and joy you bring to our household. Even though they drive me crazy, I love the moments when you are stubborn because it shows you have a personality and are developing your independence. You are growing in every way possible. I love you, Noah, my two-year old. You are my blessing, my inheritance from the Lord.

Then you...are not married?

I had the most perfect evening yesterday. Tim was gone at his last softball game for the season. Noah wasn't feeling well so he went to bed early. And I..I made myself a cup of tea, took the laptop into bed with me and watched "Sense and Sensibility." It was so wonderfully girly and relaxing that I feel it could become an addiction. When Tim came home, he joined me for the rest of it, thankfully not continuing to make comments after just one "look" from me.

I love Jane Austen's novels. I think "Sense and Sensibility" is my favorite novel of her's and Elinor Dashwood is my favorite character. I know there are many people who do/did not like her (such as Emily Bronte) because there does not seem to be much depth in her books. I however love that I can get lost in a pure and fun romance from hundreds of years ago.

I didn't expect to cry while watching it, but I think I've just been so stressed out from moving and planning 2 upcoming events, that I did. As Hugh Grant's character, Edward, explained that he was not engaged anymore and Emma Thompson's character, Elinor, stood up and said, "Then you...are not married?" I lost it. It is such a happy moment.

Sometimes when you are a wife and a mother, cooking and cleaning and keeping doctor's appointments and trying to have a social life, you just need those little feminine moments to lose yourself in.