Busy Bees

We have had many things going on in our lives. I think after this weekend, we actually get to relax (whew. )

We had a great visit with Jack and Kelly (and Owen) this past weekend. You forget just how much you miss someone until you spend time with them again. We took the kids to a fun park not far from where they live. It has a small zoo there as well (and I mean small. We're talking monkeys, lynxes, prairie dogs, a bald eagle, and a petting zoo with pigs, goats, and miniature horses.) It was such a blast, though, and the kids were loving it. The rest of the time we relaxed and visited. Tim and Noah pretend to be prairie dogs.Owen is a perfect combination of both his parents' looks. It was good for Noah to have a little boy to play blocks and trucks with.

Our flamingo. This was the only hole he could reach his head into.

Monday night our small group started up again. It was good to all hang out and we also welcomed a new family in. They have twin boys, so now Noah is not outnumbered anymore! Afterwards we went to Matt & Jeana's and played with their new Wii that they got over the weekend. It is SOOOO much fun and easily addicting. Then the boys watched "Heroes" and Jeana & I discussed our sewing projects.

Tuesday night we found ourselves at Matt & Jeana's (again!) for Harvest Moon Festival, an important Chinese holiday. Jeana describes it as Thanksgiving without the Pilgrims and Indians. It is a time to celebrate harvest and family. There were 9 of us in all celebrating (including Noah, who hit the hay after dinner.) We had a great Chinese meal that Jeana had prepared and tried out some mooncakes for dessert. NOT so good. The wintermelon tasted a little like fig, but I still couldn't eat it. The lotus mooncake was the worst thing I had tasted in my life and I have had some nasty things. I spit it out the second it touched my tongue, as did others who tried it. Thankfully, there was a back-up dessert of cookies and ice cream. We then made our way out to the TV and the Wii. Tim and I won the bowling tournament and I beat him in tennis (that was a first.) When it comes to the homerun derby, though...I was definitely one of the losers.

Yesterday afternoon I made my way into Grand Rapids with Noah. We visited with our friends, Jen, Maddie and Leighton for a bit and then met Tim. We had dinner at Dave and Holly's and got to meet their new baby, Jaden. He's a cutie, and a very good baby from what we could see. It was nice to visit with them. Again, you forget how much you miss people when you don't see them that often.

Today I finished reading for my book club tonight. We're meeting at my house and I still have a lot of cleaning up to do, as well as some baking. We are discussing "Nineteen Minutes" by Jodi Picoult. I put off reading the book until yesterday because I had found out it was about a school shooting and I just wasn't looking forward to it. It turned out to be a fascinating book and I am so glad to have read it. The only other book I have read by her is "My Sister's Keeper" which I would also recommend. She is able to write a book and her characters in such a way that you get everyone's perspective and you don't feel that she is necessarily taking sides. She always seems to throw in a surprising twist that throws you completely off-guard at the end. It was hard to read as a parent of young children because it makes me wonder what my children will grow up to be like, but I think parents and educators should take the time to read it. One of the subjects it tackles is bullying and the effects it has on a teenager. Jodi Picoult does a great job of taking the gray issues in life, the ones you don't want to take time to think about, and presents them in a very real way by throwing in characters whose emotions you can actually feel as you read the book.

It is chilly right now. I actually have on pants and a long-sleeve shirt and there is a light rain falling outside. I'm going to make pumpkin bread for our book club tonight. I would say that fall is right around the corner, but this Saturday is supposed to be at least 75 degrees.

Sugar Pea Ross is doing well as far as we can tell. Still causing me to have miserable mornings and snack all day to keep food in my stomach or else I get sick. I just keep telling myself they are reminders that there is life inside.

Emotional Wreck

Pregnancy is wearing down my hormones and emotions. I remember crying quite a bit while pregnant with Noah, but it was mostly during things that could be justified. For instance, I would hear Eric Clapton singing "You Look Wonderful Tonight" and think it was just the most romantic thing and break down in tears. Then I would listen to Sara Groves' song "Beautiful Child." The waterworks went full force during that one. Even more after he was actually born and I could really relate to the lyrics.

This time around....I cry during anything. We were watching an episode of "WonderPets" the other day. Who was crying? Me. When MingMing says, "We are coming to save you little tree, because you are a living thing" you would have thought I had been told my best friend died. Last night we went to Matt & Jeana's for dinner. Afterwards, Jeana, Noah & I watched an episode of "Arthur" that Jeana had recorded that was discussing adoption. Binky was getting a baby sister from China. OK, this is a cartoon. A CARTOON, just like WonderPets. Cried. What is my problem? I also cried in the movie, "Cars." That was when I started suspecting I might be pregnant since we hadn't actually taken the test yet.
I am reading a book called "Knit Together" by Debbie Macomber. It's great so far, very inspiring. Pick it up if you get a chance. Anyways, she was writing about how her childhood librarian was Beverly Clearly, which I thought was awesome! I mean, who doesn't love Ramona Quimby? Plus, I love books and reading and writing so much that I guess this was just really exciting to me. After I read that part I said out loud, "Well, that's cool." Tim asked, "What?" I started to tell him and next thing I know, I can't speak because I'm so choked up! This then made Tim think it must be something really cool because, obviously, I am emotional about it. When I could finally tell him, he looked at me and just laughed. I think he's getting used to this.
Oh, well.
My niece, Kailyn, turned 1 this past Sunday. I would love to be able to post pictures from the party, but the batteries in my camera died as soon as I turned it on when we got there. Bummer. Here is a recent one of her anyways:

What a cutie.

Well, that's about it. I am getting really excited to go visit Jack & Kelly this weekend. Kelly and I are going to go into Indianapolis and hit the H&M and some other fun stores. By ourselves. No husbands, no kids. I probably won't be shopping for me since I won't be wearing normal clothes too much longer, but there are a couple things Tim needs, and it's always fun to window shop.

Sugar Pea Ross

So this is our latest news.
I am 7 1/2 weeks pregnant with a little life that Tim has nicknamed "Sugar Pea." I think it was because we had sugar peas for dinner the evening of this ultrasound so it was in his head...
Anyways, our due date is April 26th, and we had a rough few days last week with some different pains and bleeding, but all is good now. My HCG and progestorone levels are exactly where they should be and the baby's heartrate was a strong 131 bpm. I think that is slower than Noah's was, but the ultrasound tech and ER doctor said it's great and the chance of miscarriage is less than 1%. All babies are different and all pregnancies are different, which has never been more true in my case.
We weren't planning on sharing our new this early on, but after our good report Friday night, Tim said "Let's start telling!" (Think he's excited?) I was talking to my friend, Rachel, yesterday (who is also pregnant, though much farther along) and we were discussing how much more joy you feel as you're able to share it with others. It makes me feel less worried, more relieved and free to talk about it.
Noah says he wants a sister. I tell him there's not much I can do about it at this point. I don't even know if he really understands what is going on anyways. I think he just likes to say "I want sister."
I LOVE the change in weather we have had in Grand Haven. It is cooler and windy and feels like fall! I have on a sweatshirt and the house smells like the roast that is cooking in the crockpot. Yummy. Bring on the hearty autumn meals.
In a couple weeks "Heroes" starts back up. Tim and our friend, Matt N., love the show so last night we decided it would become a date night for all of us. We are going to meet at Logan's for dinner because on Mondays and Tuesdays they have a 2 For $12.99 dinner special (with awesome options!) and $2 kids meals. Then we'll go to Matt & Jeana's and put Noah to sleep. The boys will watch their TV show and Jeana and I are going to sew and knit and have some crafty time because we don't watch the show. We have some projects in mind to work on, especially with Christmas coming up! The only glitch is that Tim and I have small group every other Monday night, so we'll go watch the show after group and skip the dinner part (which we decided was more budget friendly anyways.)
This past weekend was the only weekend in September that we are going to be in town. This weekend and the last weekend we will be in Fowlerville for a party and a baby shower and the weekend between we're traveling to Indiana to visit Jack & Kelly. Woo-hoo! I am way excited about that trip.
I think as long as Noah is down for a nap, I might catch some sleep as well. Have a blessed day!

Making Memories

We had a great weekend visiting Tim's family in Ohio. His sister and her family come up from Tennessee and we all spend the weekend somewhat relaxing. It's only somewhat relaxing once you have kids. Before that it was very relaxing. =)

We had a couple odd moments. The first was when we found my nephew, Cameron, running around screaming in his sleep outside in the middle of the night. He didn't remember a single thing the next morning. The other was when his brother, Owen, fell over the side of the pontoon boat while we were fishing. Fortunately, we were not moving and he was wearing a lifejacket. Boys will be boys!

We had a lot of fun moments too. The kids enjoyed being outside every moment of the day before and after naptime. The adults enjoyed their time together after the kids went to sleep at night. We watched a Brian Regan DVD (he is too funny!), had a bonfire, and just sat around catching up. It is only once or twice a year that we are all together at the same time. We played on the jetski, pontoon boat, I got to go along and watch Tim wakeboard with some family friends.

As the family expands with babies and as they grow into fun-loving and active toddlers and on into childhood, the place seems more and more crowded and crazy. Yet it all feels like home at the same time. There are five grandchildren at the moment, ranging in age from 21 months to 6 years old.

So we had a great weekend and look forward to next year and however many more kids will be added into the mix (Tim's sister is pregnant at the moment and you never know what can happen with the rest of us over the course of a year.)

Every Labor Day commences with the taking of the annual Christmas photo for Mom & Dad Ross' Christmas card. Notice the adults have on matching Eddie Bauer t-shirts.... Kristen and me on the boat. My fourth nephew is due in early December.

Tim and a tired Noah during our last-night sunset pontoon boat ride.

Cricket crushing dreams

We have a cricket that has set up his home outside our bedroom window.
I want to crush him.
I never hear him during the day. Then again, I am rarely in my bed during the day. At night...it is a different story. I sleep in my bed. The window is at the head of our bed. Normally, I don't actually mind crickets, well, their sound anyways. I don't really like any bug to be near me. At this point in my life, though, I hate the cricket sound.
I have been having trouble sleeping. For the past month I have been getting these mild enough, yet annoying, tension headaches. They mostly come at night either before I fall asleep, in the middle of the night, or when I wake up...sometimes a combo of all three. I also have to use the bathroom multiple times during the night. This is just who I am. I have a tilted uterus and it rests on my bladder, so it can't fill up as much as I wish. I have always had to pee often. I should list it under my hobbies: peeing (in a toilet of course) because I do it all the time. Pregnancy did not help.
So last night I am having trouble falling asleep because of my headache. I had taken Tylenol and was waiting for it to start taking effect when I can hear Mr. Cricket start his chirping.
Chirp chirp chirp. I try to block it out by praying. Chirp chirp chirp. Soon I begin praying for an animal to come along and eat him.
I realize after about ten minutes that it is silent. I breath a sigh of relief, thinking maybe he really has been eaten, or is just out wandering somewhere else. My mind starts to slowly drift toward dream land....chirp chirp chirp. My eyes fly open. That demon.
Now I have to pee.
I settle myself back into bed and for the next hour wrestle with sleep, a headache, and a sing-song cricket. Finally sleep comes.
Until midnight. I realize I have to pee, although the headache is gone. When I crawl back into bed, all is quiet. As I close my eyes I hear chirp.....chirp chirp.....chirp. Does he have sensors or something? Does he know when I am trying to fall asleep? Does he know how much I loathe him and thinks the same of me?
After a half hour I fall back asleep.
Needless to say the routine repeats itself around 3:30. The horrible thing is that this time I can't fall asleep for almost two hours! If I wasn't so scared of being outside in the dark I would take a flashlight and hunt him down. I would squash him and put an end to all his chirping.
But I am scared of the outdoors at night.
And I don't know where our flashlight is anyways.
Does anyone have any ideas on how to kill a cricket?
I just want a decent night of sleep again.

Two Years, Too Old

Two years ago I had the most difficult and painful day of my life.

Two years ago I had the most exhilirating and rewarding day of my life.

I gave birth on August 16, 2005.

Yesterday we celebrated Noah's second birthday. Where does the time go? I tried to give him a fun birthday, even though he didn't really understand the significance of the day at his age.

Throughout the day I would glance at the clock and think of what I was doing two years ago that moment. I woke up at 5:00 am to use the bathroom and thought, "Two years ago my parents and sister were arriving at our house in Grand Rapids. We were watching the morning news on WZZM13 and timing contractions."

Noah woke up at 7:30 and as I went to get home out of his crib I thought, "I was in triage waiting for a room to open."

I gave him a big hug as I lifted him from his crib and told him, "Happy birthday pumpkin!" Wow. Two years ago he had not even breathed from this world yet. Now he is such a big boy.

We had breakfast and got dressed. My sister and parents called to wish him a happy birthday.

I thought it would be fun to go to a little park not far from where we live to play. I put him in his stroller and pushed him down to the playground. It was a beautiful day and so far there had been no temper tantrums. Awesome.

I watched him run on the playground from one toy to the next. I looked at his chubby toddler thighs and thought of how skinny they were when he was born. I watched the way he climbed the stairs to the top of the slide and thought of how they used to flail about with no control when we unswaddled him.

I noticed that he still is as intense as he was when he was a newborn. His nurses in the hospital would comment on the way he seemed to be taking everything in, his serious little disposition. Just two weeks ago, when I picked him up from the nursery in church, the workers were commenting on how when he would inspect something, his brow would furrow and he would stare intensely at it.

My heart melted as I pushed him on the merry-go-round and he looked up at me and said "love you." I love you, too.

I have loved you since before you were born. I loved you when you were just a thought in my mind. I loved you more at every doctor's appointment when I heard your heartbeat and saw your little profile on the ultrasound machine. I loved every movement I felt inside me as you grew.

I loved you when I felt my first contraction that woke me at 1:30 am two years ago. I loved you with every push that brought you closer to entering the room with me, with every scream and thought of wanting to give up, yet knowing it was what I had to go through to see you.

I loved you when they placed you on my chest and I counted your tiny fingers and toes. I loved you as your dad sobbed harder than you and me together as he held you for the first time. Then came the day I looked at you and thought my heart was going to burst from the ache I felt of how much I loved you. No one could describe how strong this love would be.

Even with how much I loved you in those first moments and weeks, I love you even more today. I love the strong boy you have become. I love the laughter and joy you bring to our household. Even though they drive me crazy, I love the moments when you are stubborn because it shows you have a personality and are developing your independence. You are growing in every way possible. I love you, Noah, my two-year old. You are my blessing, my inheritance from the Lord.

Then you...are not married?

I had the most perfect evening yesterday. Tim was gone at his last softball game for the season. Noah wasn't feeling well so he went to bed early. And I..I made myself a cup of tea, took the laptop into bed with me and watched "Sense and Sensibility." It was so wonderfully girly and relaxing that I feel it could become an addiction. When Tim came home, he joined me for the rest of it, thankfully not continuing to make comments after just one "look" from me.

I love Jane Austen's novels. I think "Sense and Sensibility" is my favorite novel of her's and Elinor Dashwood is my favorite character. I know there are many people who do/did not like her (such as Emily Bronte) because there does not seem to be much depth in her books. I however love that I can get lost in a pure and fun romance from hundreds of years ago.

I didn't expect to cry while watching it, but I think I've just been so stressed out from moving and planning 2 upcoming events, that I did. As Hugh Grant's character, Edward, explained that he was not engaged anymore and Emma Thompson's character, Elinor, stood up and said, "Then you...are not married?" I lost it. It is such a happy moment.

Sometimes when you are a wife and a mother, cooking and cleaning and keeping doctor's appointments and trying to have a social life, you just need those little feminine moments to lose yourself in.

Summer Rain

While Noah was napping today I noticed that it had started to rain outside. At first I paid it no attention besides thinking about how the weather they had forecast on Sunday for the week sure differed from what was going on outside at the moment. In the kitchen I cut myself a brownie and grabbed a fork from the silverware drawer.
As I started to walk from the kitchen to the couch to relax with my brownie and a book, I felt the pull of the weather leading me to the doors out to the balcony (we are in a second floor apartment.) I couldn't stop myself as I took my brownie out onto the balcony and sat on a chair just out of the rain under the protection of the awning.
I felt the slight chill in the air and drank in the crisp scent that rain brings with it. I marveled at the way the rain collected in puddles at certain points in the pavement in the parking lot. I found the chorus of the song "Grace Like Rain", by Todd Agnew, drifting into my head: "Hallelujah, grace like rain falls down on me. Hallelujah, all my stains are washed away, washed away."
Grace is a funny word to me. I have to admit that the first thing I think of when I hear the word "grace" is my niece. Her middle name is Grace. Then I think of our friends' daughter and her middle name is Grace as well. In fact, I know many little girls carrying the first or middle name of Grace. I think of the word "grace" in terms of ballerinas as well, or someone being graceful, moving with fluid-like motions.
Rarely do I think of God's grace when I hear the word. Today I actually thought about it, though. As I watched the rain fall, I thought of the definition of grace and realized I didn't really know what it meant. I turned to good old Webster, which says grace is "unmerited help given to people by God (as in overcoming temptation); freedom from sin through divine grace." I also looked in our "Pocket Dictionary of Theological Terms" (I guess we did keep some books from college.) Their definition states that "Grace is the generous overflow of the love of God the Father toward the Son, Jesus Christ. This love is most clearly demonstrated to humans through God's selfless giving of Jesus to enable people to enter into a loving relationship with God as the Holy Spirit enables them."
Awesome. Grace is beautiful. Whether it is in the form of a young 3 year old child, ballet movements, or God's love overflowing like rain onto us. As I watched the rain fall, I longed to run down into it. I had an overcoming desire to stand in the rain, arms outstretched, face turned upwards, embracing my God's overflowing love for me. His grace. He sends rain to nourish, to wash away dirt, to grow. He sends his grace to nourish, to wash away stains, to grow us.
"Hallelujah, grace like rain falls down on me.
Hallelujah, all my stains are washed away, washed away."

For some reason...

I saw this as a link from a friend's blog and it just made me laugh. Hope it adds a smile or some silliness to your day!
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6739710473912337648

After a long wait....

The final Harry Potter book comes out at midnight tonight. We will be standing in line at Meijer where they are selling it for only $12.99. You just can't beat $12.99 for a brand new, long awaited hardcover book.

Speaking of books, I have been reading like crazy lately. I have three different books going on right now: "The Circle of Quilters" by Jennifer Chiaverini (it is part of a series called "Elm Creek Quilts" that is very entertaining), "1, 2, 3 Magic" by Dr. Thomas Phalin (our pediatrician recommended it when I asked him about discipline strategies for temper tantrums; it is designed specifically for 2-12 year olds), and a marriage book (because I like to read marriage books, not because our marriage is in trouble.)

Since the start of the summer I have read about 3-4 books a week. I love to read. Even Tim has finished a book this summer (he will admit that it is a big accomplishment for him since he is a slow reader.) I think because we got rid of our TV, we have spent more time reading or catching up on movies. At first it was difficult because we would start to open the entertainment center and then remember there was no television set in there. Now, I don't even give it a second thought. It has been refreshing.

We start our move to Grand Haven in a couple weeks. We take possession on the 1st and I would like to be completely moved in and unpacked by the 10th. It shouldn't be too difficult. We've moved so many times I feel like a somewhat expert.

Big things are happening with Tim's work. They are having a meeting today and we will know some more information after that. Say a prayer for God's guidance for us!

Feeling sentimental...

L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see

V is very, very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you adore can
Love is all that I can give to you
Love is more than just a game for two
Two in love can make it
Take my heart and please don't break it
Love was made for me and you.
~Nat King Cole

The Fourth and Fireworks

Yesterday was July 4th, Independence Day. My sister called this morning and we were talking about how different some holidays feel now that we are grown up, the Fourth being one of them. When we were young, our family always went over to the Westerby's house for a big Barbecue party on the 4th of July. After the parade downtown, of course.

Now that we are older and have families of our own (and I don't live around there anymore) we all celebrate it in our own ways. Tim, Noah, and I went to the parade in Fruitport, as well as a community breakfast there, and grilled out later that afternoon with friends. We ended the night by going to Grand Haven for fireworks. My parents went out to breakfast with my sister and her family and then they went to a movie while my sister, brother-in-law, and niece spent the day at home relaxing.
Where have the big parties gone?
Or maybe it's just the realization that we're not having the big party together as a family. Tim and I have been blessed to spend the holiday with different friends each year, but have been able to celebrate with people all the same. This is just fine with me. My sister is resistant to change. The first year I went to college, she wouldn't even let my parents go get a Christmas tree until I could join them, so we could keep up the family traditions. Once I suggested Christmas at mine and Tim's house and got my head bit off. I think now that she is a parent she is loosening up a bit because she understands more of wanting to start your own family traditions. However, she was saying this morning that she wants to reinstate the big 4th of July cook-outs, so maybe some things come slowly.
I would be lying to say that yesterday I didn't miss my childhood a bit. It was good to go to a smalltown parade, short as it was. It was fun to attend a free community breakfast in an elementary school. Even though we knew no one there, I felt like it was a normal thing for us to do.
We celebrate our independence on the 4th of July. We shoot off fireworks and remember those who have served and are serving to protect our freedoms. As crazy as I think our society is at times, I am thankful to live in America. While celebrating independence from other countries, I was also thankful that we can depend on family and friends around us to walk beside us, pray with us, encourage us, hurt with us, and praise openly our Lord with us.


Tim and Noah await the start of the parade in Fruitport.

Hugs for Noah and Emma.

Stephani and Me

Emma wasn't so crazy about the fireworks, although afterwards she told us she loved them.

Let's Talk About Sex

Interesting, eh? You might wonder what you're about to read. Well, I will put your mind at ease right now by telling you it is nothing concerning details about sex, how it works, etc. It more concerns a chapter in a book I'm reading.
Our friend, Matt, let Tim borrow a book he just finished called "Confessions of a Pastor" by Craig Groeschel. Out of curiousity I picked it up the other night and am now having a hard time putting it down. I would highly recommend it. Groeschel is very funny as he writes so it keeps you interested and feels like you're having a conversation with him.
I read Chapter 2 yesterday, "I Have to Work Hard to Stay Sexually Pure." I was interested in seeing what he had to write because you don't often hear a pastor confessing something like that, yet you know they are human and tempted like the rest of us. I loved the chapter. I love what he wrote, how he wrote it, and how it spoke to and challenged me.
You see, I was not a virgin when I met Tim. Sorry if this embarasses or lets any of you down...but I feel the need to be honest. I had a 3 year long, very serious and very physical relationship in high school. We never actually had intercouse yet "did everything but" which I see now is what you tell yourself to feel less guilty. After breaking up with him, I had a quick physical rebound fling with a co-worker. "Makeout buddies" you could say. Then I settled into a one-month long disaster of a relationship, again physical. For some reason after we broke up, we still continued to see each other and that ended up leading to sex. I was fresh graduated from high school and he was still in it. Away I went to a Christian college and yet on weekends I came home, still found myself sleeping with him (why do they call it "sleeping together" anyways? Not much sleeping is done...) I think I kept continuing on in this self-destructive pattern because I actually hated sex and thought maybe it would get better. It didn't. I would just go back to Grand Rapids at the end of the weekend feeling trashy. Finally we called it off (actually we had a big fight and never spoke again.) I told myself I was not going to date anyone until I got myself together and started working on my relationship with the Lord.
That is when Tim came into my life. It was February of 2000 and we had two classes together and in our Speech class were put in a group project together. That is when we became friends. I felt a strong attraction to him over time, but still wasn't sure if I wanted to get into another relationship. It wasn't until the end of September that we finally had our "Define the Relationship" talk. I told him within a couple weeks that I was not a virgin and so if he was looking for a pure angel, he was going to have to look somewhere else. We had already talked about our desire that each of us had individually to try to abstain even from kissing until engagement (that lasted a whole 3 weeks.)
Tim and I worked very hard for almost 3 years to not let things ever get beyond kissing. We set many boundaries like: no kissing while laying down, no taking naps laying next to each other, no putting ourselves in situations where things could get out of hand, etc. Somehow, they worked. It was tough, but we did actually wait until our wedding night and I entered into marriage having the utmost respect for him because he respected me and I knew that he truly cared for me and not what he could get from me.
Now that you know my history (which was long, I do apologize) let me explain why the book touched me so. I have single friends who struggle physically in relationships. Oftentimes I do not know what to tell them. I don't agree with them when they tell me about the things they are doing in their relationships, yet I don't know how to express it in a way that doesn't sound like "I'm holier than thou because I waited with Tim." They can always shoot my past back in my face as well because most of them know about it. So instead I either laugh with them, or say nothing.
This is what Craig Groeschel has to say:
"For me, sexual purity has become a profoundly big deal. It should be for you, too. Why am I so serious about purity? Because God's serious about it. Ephesians 5:3 says, 'But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality.'
Not even a hint.
What is a hint of sexual impurity? Certainly looking lustfully at someone in a magazine, on television, or in person would fall somewhere north of the "hint" mark, wouldn't it? Jesus said that just to look lustfully at someone is the same as committing adultery. Yet I know many people who say, 'I'm just window shopping, not buying.'
How's your thought life? Do you catch your mind wandering to sexually explicit thoughts about someone besides your spouse? Impurity. Laughing at that sexual joke in the break room at work? Impurity. Are you honoring God by reading women's magazines with articles like, "73 Sinful Ways to Drive your Man Crazy in Bed?" Or by droppingsexual innuendos? Or masturbating? The list could go on and on.
You have to quit playing your little rationalization games. You know you're justifying sin. It's wrong. Worse, it's dangerous.
What if you're a single person? What should your standard of purity be? Just fooling around? You know, "doing everything but"? A quick game of naked Twister? How about a sleepover? We won't mess around. We'll just cuddle in bed.
WARNING! BOUNDARY VIOLATION!
Why are those things wrong? Because they're intimate acts reserved for marriage. Sex. Undoing bras or zippers. Messin' around. All these are appropriate for marriage...but none are appropriate outside of marriage.
Not even a hint."

I know this was long, but I just wanted to share. I felt convicted. I feel challenged. I tend to be more of a bold person when it comes to speaking my mind (if you know me well, you probably just let out a laugh and "yeah, you sure are. Too much sometimes.") I haven't been as much so on this when it comes to those close to me. I feel like I have let God down by not saying something, especially when it concerns a Christian brother or sister who knows what they are doing is wrong but has convinced themself otherwise, or rationalized it in some way.
I think I know now why I used to hate sex: it was not in the context of marriage. It was not mine to enjoy. Yet as soon as Tim placed the wedding ring on my finger and we said our vows, we became one. God has blessed us. I see now that sex is great...within marriage. I also see that sex is more than just intercourse, it's so much more. It involves your eyes, lips, ears and mind. It involves your hands. It is what you see and say and hear and do that puts yourself, your spouse (either present or future), and others at risk of intentional sin.
Not even a hint.

Summertime Fun

We just returned from vacation this evening. Our friends, the Lewises, accompanied us to Ohio for a long weekend. We had some great weather, conversations, and moments. Here are some pictures from our trip:

Noah is "helping" his dad drive the pontoon boat. He looks like he belongs there.

A trip to the Cleveland Zoo brought elephants...

Giant tortoises...

And...Dinosaurs??...
He has not fallen asleep in a stroller since he was an infant. But after 5 fun-and-animal-filled hours, I guess it's not a surprise.
What other way to end the weekend but with an adventure filled canoe ride? I think the guys re-thought their decision about 10 minutes into it. I'm glad we didn't know about it until we saw them paddling away.

Answered Prayers

God has just been amazing Tim and me with answering prayers, opening and closing doors, showing us how BIG He is and that He can do what He says He can do. Our biggest answered prayer right now is that when our lease is up in August, we have somewhere new to live. It is a small duplex in Grand Haven that has been completely updated and remodeled. It is on a quiet road on the outskirts of town and has a yard with trees and lots of shade (yippee!) The landlord seems close to our age and is a really nice guy. He travels more often than he is home so he said it will feel as if we have the place to ourselves most of the time. One of the best parts is that it is $200 cheaper than what we pay at our apartment AND we won't have to pay water and sewer like we do now. Most people at this point ask, "How can it be so much cheaper if you are going to be in a nice area, in a remodeled duplex and it has a washer and dryer?" To which we can only respond, "God did it. We were praying a God-size prayer for cheaper housing, yet hopefully not in an apartment complex because it would be nice for Noah to have a yard to play in. God is the only One who could have worked this out."
He also has been opening doors for Tim to expand on his business. It has been his dream to someday operate his own home restoration business. As of now, he works with 4 other guys. One of them is leaving for college in the fall, one is moving more full-time into the position of youth pastor at his church, one is basically gone already doing a Pepperidge Farm truck route (or something along those lines) and one (Tim's brother) was offered his own dream job in Ohio (which means we are experiencing happiness and some sadness) as a youth pastor. This leaves just Tim, who is at this point the only one whose passion is the home restoration. At the moment, the dream is for him and our other friend, Tim, to partner up and run the business. At this point, it's all a matter of timing...but God keeps opening doors.
It is funny to see how God's plans are so much different from our own. Just back in April, we were so excited about the prospect of moving to Ann Arbor but then felt uneasy about it. Since making the decision to stay in West Michigan, God has been providing Tim with so much work that he has actually had to turn down jobs because he can't fit them into the schedule by the time they want the work done!
Then we were so sure of wanting to move back to Grand Rapids when our lease was up. Slowly, as the time has drawn nearer, the uneasy feeling started creeping back in again. God led us to a home that is just what we were looking for and now we have nothing but peace about it.
We also read a book last week (well, I read it and then briefed Tim on what it said) called "The Treasure Principle" by Randy Alcorn. It has changed our views on giving and how much importance we place on material possessions. I think it was the perfect time to read the book because, as we prepare to move into a smaller space and have a garage sale with some friends, it is easier to go through and pick what items we need to sell. Don't get me wrong, there are some things that you would have to pry out of my cold dead hands before I would get rid of them, but then there are other things that we realize are just taking up space in our home. We have realized the importance of eternal rewards in relation to the temporary earthly things. I looked through the Pottery Barn catalog over the weekend when it came in the mail. It might be the first time I have ever looked at it and not felt a want for anything in there. It all seemed overpriced to me.
So God has been working in the lives of Tim and me. We are so thankful for all He has shown us, for the awesome friends and family He has blessed us with, and for the adventure that He has in store for us.

Emotionally Spent

I'm spent. Not just physically, thanks to my latest exercise attempt, but emotionally.
Tim and I spent the weekend debating where to live, which ended in a breakdown of tears for me. It is hard when he works in 2 different cities, so it really doesn't matter where we choose because either way he will be driving farther part of the time. So then it comes down to who do we want to live by or where do we want to raise Noah or what city offers more for the development of our family?
Have you ever been in a position where you have had to answer these questions? It is not easy. At all. I know that if we say we're going to stay in Muskegon, then we let down people in Grand Rapids who are looking forward to the possiblity of us moving back. However, we have become closer to people in Muskegon in the past few months, our church is here and we LOVE it, and our friends Matt & Jeana are moving here from California at the end of the month. We have friends in both places. In relation to schools, we don't want Noah in Grand Rapids public or Muskegon public. We would probably try to send Noah to a slightly smaller school district that is still good. Grand Rapids has Meijer Gardens and the Children's Museum, as well as a host of other fun places. Muskegon has Lake Michigan and we are a family who would live in the water if possible. Muskegon also has family, for as long as they decide to live here.
So what do you do? This is what caused my breakdown. The hard part is that I started feeling the wear and tear of upkeeping relationships. I feel like we are going to let people down no matter where we choose.
Maybe we'll just live where we can find the cheapest rent.
Now I am emotionally spent.
Hey, that rhymes.
On top of that, I got an email out of the blue from someone yesterday accusing me of things I never said or did months ago! He said I did not attend the events surrounding his marriage because of my disapproval of him (I have known his wife since college) and that I hurt his wife. I felt like I was in high school again. When I sent a reply email explaining the reasons behind why I could not attend their wedding (which was in Florida) or reception (which was also out of town on a night we were not able to find a babysitter), I also told him that if he wanted to continue the discussion, he would have to call or do it to my face because I wasn't going to email back and forth about it. He sent me a nastier email, followed a couple hours later by a disturbingly sweet email. I have had suspicions he is emotionally abusive, and I'm seeing them confirmed through what he has written. What is sad is that his poor wife emailed to apologize because she couldn't believe he wrote what he did. I feel that he has driven a wedge between his wife and me and I just don't have the energy to deal with it. I did email him back after the sweet email and gave him my phone number and told him to call if he felt the need. For crying out loud, I'm 26 and a wife and mother, not some 16 year old high schooler that fights over email!
On a positive note, there is just over a week until we get to go on our mini-vacation with Matt, Stephani, and Emma. I am looking forward to getting away, jetskiing, pontoon boating, sitting and staring at the lake, etc. Bring it on!

A Day in the Life

Many times when I talk to people and they find out I am a stay-at-home mom, they pause, look at me, and then ask, "What do you DO all day at home?" I wonder if they think that Noah is this electronic monitoring ankle bracelet (much like what Paris Hilton is sporting now) that doesn't let me leave the house. Or maybe they picture me sitting on the couch in my pajamas, eating a bag of chips and watching morning talk shows and afternoon soap operas while my son runs around the house destroying things. I decided to blog a typical day for me, and chose yesterday as my sample.
6:38 - Raise head and open one eye to look at clock, nudge Tim out of bed, go back to sleep
7:02 - Wake up and have my quiet/prayer time
7:25 - Eat a bowl of cereal while watching the local morning news blip during Good Morning America, kiss Tim good-bye, check email
7:38 - Noah wakes up and has breakfast
8:10 - Clean up kitchen from breakfast
8:20 - Do toning exercises while Noah finishes "Little Einsteins" and starts "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse" and runs around the room dancing and singing along
8:40 - Put on sweats and t-shirt, dress Noah, brush teeth, put shoes on, get stroller
9:05 - Start walk/jog intervals
9:55 - Arrive back at apartment, put away stroller, drain a very large, very cold glass of water while Noah has a snack
10:05 - Shower, dress, debate wearing make-up and decide to pass (except for mascara), debate actually doing something with my hair or throwing it in pigtails and decide on actually doing it
10:47 - Look in the mirror and think, "What is this? I actually like the way I look today. That doesn't usually happen." Decide that it must be a good day.
10:48 - Chase Noah down to put his shoes on, grab purse and head out to run errands (Meijer, bank, etc.)
12:09 - Arrive home, make lunch, eat lunch while listening to "Family Life" on WCSG
12:35 - Decide to clean apartment. Noah "helps" where possible
1:30 - Noah goes down for nap
1:33 - Respond to emails, read some blogs, research prices of Quickbooks, web domains, and the cost of getting a builders license for Tim
2:30 - Sit down to read, start a Jane Austen biography but realize I should finish the book I have already started so I pick up "Making children mind without losing yours."
3:38 - Noah wakes up, spend the next hour and a half playing, singing, eating a snack
4:59 - Tim calls to say he will be home in about 15 minutes
5:00 - Re-heat leftover chicken and broccoli casserole for Noah and I for dinner
5:20 - Tim gets home, changes clothes and we run out to look at an apartment complex in Spring Lake
6:00 - Return home, have heated discussion, Tim reheats leftovers for himself, Noah plays on his slide (it's small and plastic so we have it in the living room), I look for more ideas where to live
6:30ish- Noah and I play on the Noggin channel website and sing, Tim looks over his disability insurance packet that came in the mail
7:00 - Tim begins the bedtime ritual that he has with Noah, I sit down and for the first time in months watch "Inside Edition"
7:30 - Tim joins me after having put Noah to bed and then showered and we watch a show about Hawaii on the Travel Channel, drool over the fresh fruits they talk about
8:00 - Watch the funniest episode I have ever seen of "Everybody Loves Raymond", it is about sexual "power" in the bedroom. Tim and I are laughing to the point of tears and poking each other in the sides occasionally.
8:30 - Flip between "Raymond" and "Samantha Brown's Passport to Latin America", by this point I am talking to Tim again
9:00 - I watch the first few minutes of "So You think You can Dance" while Tim falls asleep
9:15 - Decide to go to bed early, brush teeth, go through bedtime routine
9:30 - Tim and I discuss the day's events, why I feel frustrated, etc.
10:00 - Sleep calls

So you can see that although I am not a very exciting person while at home with my son, while he is awake I do not really watch TV (unless it is a children's show.) We do usually eat dinner all together and then play afterwards, but yesterday was kind of off with going to look at the apartment complex. So what do I DO all day? You can see for yourself.

I love life

True, life can be a bit overwhelming at times. However, I genuinely love my life. I'm not rich, I rent an aparment, I could stand to lose 10-15 pounds, and I have a 21 month old who has decided to hit the "terrible twos" a bit early. On the other hand, I am alive, I have wonderful family and friends, I have dreams and goals that the Lord has placed in my heart, I am healthy (as far as I know), I have a phenomenal husband and a very loving son. We had a really fun weekend and it just reminds me how much joy surrounds me.


This is from a Murdery Mystery Dinner party we went to Friday night. From left to right are: Lindsey (8 1/2 months pregnant!), Weston, Tony, Britton, Joe, Melissa, Noah (snuck into the picture), Tim and me. Lindsey turned out to be the "murderer." She was a jilted lover.


This handsome guy is Nehemiah. We went to church in GR with his parents and this is the first time we've seen him since he was born. His hair is incredibly soft.


Saturday night we were invited over to Matt & Stephani's so Noah and Emma could play in the pool together. Afterward, we went to K2, the top of the Kirby House, and had some yummy pizza.
Sunday night we celebrated Deidra's birthday at her parents' house. After dinner, Noah and Wyndham danced to "The Body Song" (Head, shoulders, knees and toes.)


And this is one of Wyndham's funny faces. Look at those curls!!


Life is good. God is great.

You, Me & Capri

Tim & I went to Chicago for a night to celebrate our 4th anniversary. We toured Frank Lloyd Wright's Robie House and his home and studio. This is me at the Robie House.

This is in front of Austin Park, where I looked around at their "Art in the Park" in Oak Park. I am giving a "kiss" to Frank Lloyd Wright. I know, I know, he has creepy hollow eyes.
I am sewing a pair of capris right now. This is my first really big project and only my third sewing project, so I was slightly nervous...but it's going better than I imagined it would. It is on hold for the moment because I forgot to buy interfacing when I was buying the other fabric. I will post pictures when I finish them.

We had a really fun Memorial Day weekend. Our friend, Kerin, from Ohio (although she is attending grad school in Indiana at the moment) came up for the weekend to visit. She stayed with Tim and Christina. Tim, Noah, and I stayed Sunday through Monday at Tim & Christina's as well. It was so great to spend that time together. You realize in college, and afterwards, how much your friends become your family away from family because they are closer geographically, making them more accesible. Anyways, we spent some time watching the sunset, making meals together, playing games, watching "The Holiday" and a few episodes of "The Office", and the best part: watching Kerin and our friend, Unty, start a new relationship with each other. I think the matchmaking is going to work this time around. Our friends are also so helpful with Noah. It was so normal to see Tim A. playing/wrestling/tickling him as we cleaned up from dinner, or to look out the kitchen window and see Kerin exploring with him outdoors. Monday morning Christina told Tim and I to go take a walk and she would watch Noah for us. This allowed us the opportunity to go walk around our old neighborhood (Tim & Christina are around the corner and down the street from it.) We stopped and visited with our old neighbors and even walked down to visit the family that we gave our old dog, Pippin, too. He is a fattie now! He was on steroids for his allergies and then they found out he has a thyroid problem. He is probably twice as big as the last time we saw him. He is being so loved, though. The couple's daughter and her family just moved back from The Netherlands and it sounds as if they are actually going to be taking Pippin with them when they move to Buffalo, New York. They have 2 young girls and a son and the kids are in love with Pippin. Although it was kind of sad to see him again, especially since he still remembered us, it warms my heart to know he is being so well cared for and spoiled!

We spent Monday evening barbecuing with our small group from church. That was also quite fun. Matt & Stephani's daughter, Emma, was at her grandparents' for the night and Noah went to sleep soon after we arrived over there, so it was a quiet evening. We actually had conversations that were uninterrupted!

Matt, Stephani & Emma are actually going to be vacationing with us at Tim's parents' house in Ohio next month. My in-laws will be in California and invited us to come down and use the house and bring friends if we wanted to. So we'll all pile into our new mini-van and head down to Lake Mohawk. We're all excited for it and I think we're going to try to visit the Cleveland Zoo at some point.

There are days like today where I miss our house, or living in a house. It was a warm and partly sunny day and I would have done just about anything to have a backyard that I could take Noah out to play in. I wish I was able to set up a little kiddie pool for him so he could play in that. However, I don't regret selling the house or moving out to Muskegon (even if it has come with some challenging times.) I am so thankful that we could take the profit and pay off the student loans and be DEBT FREE! That is better to me than a house. We are no longer slaves to the lender. Tim and I realized that we have Quicken on our computer (we're quick, I know) and so we sat down tonight and put all our budget into it. We financially started getting some things squared away and feel good and peaceful about where we are at. I think there are going to be some exciting things in our future.

My dream job was posted last week. It was for the director of Alpha Women's Center. I have wanted this job since my friend, Kelly, had it after we graduated. I talked on the phone with her about it, seeked counsel from a couple other friends and my husband, and did LOTS of praying about it. After all this I realized that, when it comes down to it, I still don't want to work until Noah is in school. I really can't stand the thought of someone else raising him if it doesn't have to be that way. It was also reassuring to hear Kelly say that there happens to be high turnover for that position and it should be up again by the time Noah enters school. It is weird to see how kids can change you. I would have done anything to have my dream job 2 years ago. Now I realize that my family is my dream for the moment, especially as Noah is entering the outskirts of the "terrible twos" and has started whining and throwing temper tantrums. I want to be the one to discipline and teach him throughout the day and to have consistency in his life. I probably sound old fashioned, but I don't care. I don't want his first memories to be of someone else spending his days with him. I am glad I saw the posting, though, because for so long now I have been asking God what I should do career-wise in my life someday and the intensity and fire I felt when I saw the posting alerted me that this is it. I want to be the director of a pregnancy center. For now, I can work on my hobbies: sewing, knitting, crocheting, etc. while having the joys of being home with Noah!

Rachel and John came out to visit me and Noah last week. We took the boys to the Lake for a picnic. We had a hard time keeping them our of the water. After bringing them back up to the blanket, we turned around to find them escaping again!Tim and I took Noah out to the lake one night last week. Noah seriously LOVES water. We have to hold him back because he pretty much wants to throw himself into it. He belly laughs harder than I have ever heard when he is in the lake.

I babysat Emma for a couple hours one morning last week. There is a sandbox and a little play area at our apartment complex, so we played with sand for a little bit.

This is our sunset picture: Tim, Christina, Unty, Kerin, Me, Noah and TimMe, Kerin & Christina in our portrayal of Charlie's Angels. I didn't realize we were supposed to do serious faces.

And the boys being....well, boys.

Catch Up

We have had a crazy May right from the beginning. On Tuesday, May 1st, Noah and I went to Grand Rapids. We were taking a trip to the wonderful Target Greatland and had the opportunity to visit Jen and her kids, Maddie and Leighton. There are days where the best times to spend with friends is just walking around Target while visiting with each other and sharing child-rearing tips and stories.

After leaving Target, Noah and I made a stop at a library in GR to get a book that isn't available at any of our Muskegon area libraries. After getting the book, we were traveling west on Leonard street to get to 131North to go home. While going through a green light at an intersection, a driver coming from the opposite direction decided to turn left and slammed into the front of our car. Thank you, Rachel and John, for coming to pick up me and Noah and for your calming presence!The picture doesn't seem to brutal, but we found out the next day that it was enough to total the car. Yippee. We were provided with a rental car at a crazy cheap price. That was Wednesday.

Thursday afternoon we took our cute rental car and headed to Ohio. After staying the night at Tim's parents, we left early Friday morning and headed down to Purcelville, Virginia. BEAUTIFUL! What gorgeous country lies in the south! Tim's Uncle Warren and Aunt Ellie were kind enough to host us for a few days as we visited family.

This is Brayden, son of Tim's cousin, Jeremy and his wife, Carrie. He is only a couple weeks old in this picture.

This is Brooklyn, daughter of Tim's cousin, Jonathan, and his wife, Shelley. All these adorable babies everywhere!
This is Brayden's older brother, Luke. We had the opportunity to go watch Holland and Carter "play" soccer while we were visiting. This was at the field.
This is Carter, who is "attacking" aliens with a soccer ball. I can't wait until Noah learns all this.

Holland is in the pink sweatshirt and her younger brother, Austin, is in the yellow. They are Brooklyn's older siblings. The oldest, Anna, I don't have any pictures of because she wasn't feeling well.

Grandma Sommerfeld and Noah color while waiting for lunch.

Family pictures.

It was so special for us to get to spend this time with Grandma. We had not seen her since our wedding, which was 4 years ago this month.

We were able to see Tim's Grandma Sommerfeld, his cousins and their families, and even took a day to go into Washington DC. I have to admit, my favorite moments were actually in the evening after Noah went to bed. Tim and I and Warren and Ellie would sit on their front porch and talk until the sun was set and we couldn't see each other. Tim and I found out so much family history. Tim also had a great time being able to hear stories about his Uncle Warren's work, and get some advice and ideas on what he can do in his own business to improve it.

This is our the only picture from our day in DC with all 3 of us. It's at the FDR memorial.

Watch out for sea turtles! We quickley went into the Smithsonian Natural History Museum.

Noah and me at the Lincoln Monument. You can see that famous reflection pond and the Washington Monument in the back.

Did I mention we got a flat tire on the rental car while driving by the White House? We did. Tim hit a curb while turning a corner and it hit in just the right place to put a hole in the tire. He had to pull over and change it on Constitution Avenue. Ah, this is what memories are made of...

We left on Monday after lunch and stayed the night in Ohio again. Tim dropped Noah and me off at my parents' on Tuesday. Our original plan was that he would go back and work long days to catch up on some projects and then come back Saturday morning to pick us up. I called him Wednesday night and said we were going to have to come home sooner because Noah was having the worst day of his little life. My mom and I think he was breaking down from being gone from home for so long. He started throwing horrible temper tantrums and every noise set him off: the oven timer, airplanes overhead, the phone ringing. He spent 80% of the day crying. I held out until he went to bed and then I broke down. So on Thursday afternoon my dad drove us to Portland, where Tim picked us up.

We went straight to a small used mini-van dealership in North Muskegon. After test driving a 2000 Dodge Grand Caravan we bought it. It has high mileage, but it runs, is in good shape, and is larger than our Honda Odyssey, which we call our "mini" minivan, or our glorified station wagon.

Friday was a catch up on laundry and cleaning day.

Saturday morning Noah and I went to the Farmers Market. I just love Farmers Markets. Yea for summer and the arrival of them. Our friend, Lindsay, stopped by and had lunch with us. That evening, Jen, Scott, Maddie & Leighton came over for dinner. It was their first time seeing the apartment. Afterwards, we all traveled to Holland to celebrate the first birthday of Owen Baker. It was so good to see Jack and Kelly. They told us they just bought their first house, which excites me, but makes me kind of sad because it means they're putting roots down in Indiana and we want so badly for them to end up back here. I guess it could still happen when Jack is done with Purdue. We'll see.

Kari draws with Maddie and Noah at Owen's birthday party.

Owen was pretty excited about his Curious George theme party. Yum, cake!

Leighton is growing so fast! At first glance I think he looks like Scott, but I definitely see Jen's features in him as well.

Owen (we're so glad he still has his red hair!), Kelly, Noah, and me saying good-bye. We're supposed to see them again at the end of June, so it's something to look forward to!

It was a lazy Mothers' Day, which I think I've earned. I'm so thankful for my mother, my mother-in-law, and the son who has made me into a mother.