In Regards To...

I wrote a post last week titled "Hard Stuff" (don't bother looking for it.) In it, I described the thoughts that Tim and I are working through as we think about "church." I spent three days writing it and even had an outside source (not Tim) check it before posting it to tell me whether or not if was offensive because that was not what I wanted.
I deleted the post Saturday morning after receiving a phone call the day before. The caller told me my post was "arrogant", "hurtful" and was causing discord within the church. They also criticized me for claiming that my way is the only way. After talking about it with Tim we thought it best to remove the post since there were some people that were not taking it the right way. Until that point, I had had no idea since the comments that were left on it had been encouraging, supportive, and a few even said that they were working through the same thoughts.
It was certainly NOT my intent to be mean-spirited, hurtful or arrogant. And while I am sorry that it was taken that way, I told Tim that I can't apologize for the issues I brought up or wrote about. After all, this is my blog where I do the following things: write updates about our family, and bring up issues in my life I'm dealing with/working through/struggling with. I don't expect everyone to agree with me - when I write about my anti-abortion stance, I can think of one of my high school friends who doesn't agree with me and reads this blog. I have posted my thoughts on birth control pills, which I know many of you don't think the same about. I have wondered about fertility methods and whether we should try to control how many kids God gives us. I have talked about how much I love using cloth diapers and I'm sure that grosses some of you out. It doesn't mean that any of my thoughts or opinions are "the only way" to think on these or that I expect everyone to agree with me.
The things I wrote about with the church have been in my head for a loooong time. This is not something recent. Nor is that fact I wrote about them. I have wrote about music in the church before, wondering what is it that determines "worship" music, and also why in most modern churches today we don't sing hymns anymore? Does the music at a church determine whether or not I want to go there? Absolutely not. It's not a "make or break" issue for me. When I go to a church, do I feel my heart is becoming more prepared when it's quieter with a variety and I can hear the people around me? Yes. But until the church we've been attending the past month, I don't know if I've ever attended a church like that. For me, it comes down to the preaching. I like it from the Bible and about the Bible.
Tim and I don't even know if we are going to end up deciding to go to church within a building. These are things we're talking through and learning about. What did the New Testament church look like? We both come from a mindset that church is for a community of believers who are encouraging each other and equipping each other to go out and make disciples. We think that if Jesus was in flesh on earth today, His church would be smaller than the megachurches. I don't think it's quantity that matters, but quality.
Are those who consider themselves Christians actually following Jesus? His teachings are not always fun to hear. We may not want to agree with some of them, but we can't question Him either on why they are that way. I have to admit that just about 4 months ago is when I feel like I came to know Christ for the first time. I grew up in the church and knew right from wrong and good from bad and what to say, do, volunteer with, etc. It wasn't until I started taking Scripture to heart and realizing the seriousness of it that I felt I finally got it. It was when I realized that I needed to start living with an eternal perspective. Thankfully, Tim was experiencing a lot of similar things at the same time so we have been able to talk to each other a lot about all this.
My post before was not to criticize the church - especially any particular church - but to ask questions. The verse that caught mine and Tim's attention and woke up us was from Revelation 3:15-17:
I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked.
We realized we were living as lukewarm Christians, although if God is going to spit the lukewarm out of His mouth, than can they even be considered Christians? We knew we needed to change our way of living and our perspective. So that's what we are doing. Yet we are concerned when we look around us and see so many people living the same way we were. This is why we desire challenge in the church, why we think that the people in the church should be courageous, to be constantly growing and learning more. It's not a "we hate the church" thing or "we hate your way of doing church." It's wanting to see churches kick the butts sitting in their seats into a deeper, growing relationship with Christ. If you are attending a church I wrote about before and you feel that church is helping you to do those things, then that is fantastic. I just know that those churches aren't doing that for Tim and I as we grow in our own personal studies and as we are challenged in our small group. I have talked to many people around me as well who are struggling with all the same things and wanting more. That is why Tim and I feel there is a type of shift, a revolution as Tim says, that is on the rise.
That's why we are desiring to live differently, to not follow a pastor or follow a church but to follow Christ. The only way we can know how to do that is by studying the Bible, His Word He left for us.
So I am sorry if anyone took my last post in a hurtful way or were offended by it since that was not the point. It was never intended to be harmful but I can see how when things are written and not vocalized, tones can be mistaken. I think part rests on the reader as well and where their thoughts are on the matter. If they disagree with me, I can see where they would think I am attacking when that is not the case.
I hope that, in whatever church you find yourself, you are being challenged, you are growing, you are desiring God, you are learning to live with an eternal perspective, and you are choosing to live differently. Most of all, I hope that you are following Jesus.