The Stick...

reads positive!
*ETA: early April 2010, somewhere in the first week.
*Our reaction: shell-shocked for a couple days and then excited. Now we can't picture our life without this little one.
*I am a little over 8 weeks along and wasn't planning on telling for another month but a friend who knew mentioned it on his facebook page and I figured I should tell before getting confused and curious questions from our mutual friends on my own page (darn those social networking sites!)
*No, I haven't been to the doctor yet. My first appointment is September 9th and I plan on using a mid-wife in the hospital.
*Yes, I have morning sickness. Haven't thrown up yet - thank you, God! - but sometimes I just wish I would so that the nausea would go away. The other thing I'm fighting against is exhaustion. Being pregnant and chasing two little ones is HARD! I'm looking forward to the start of preschool and the second trimester.
*Yes, the kids know. Ellie has no idea what we're talking about and Noah is extremely excited. He is already requesting a boy.
Please be in prayer with us as we tread through to my appointment. After experiencing a miscarriage of one birth, I feel like I hold my breath through the pregnancy. I let out a little bit at the first appointment when I hear the heartbeat and then a little more at the 20-week ultrasound. I can't fully breathe until the baby is delivered and in my arms. This is the first time since the miscarriage that we have announced it without first having extensive blood tests or ultrasounds done to be assured before twelve weeks is up. Tim is confident everything will be fine. It's nice to have a husband that is calm and sensible. =)

Never Heard It Put Like That

Tim and I have been spending quite a bit of our spare time watching or listening to sermons, reading our Bibles, and talking about what God is showing us. We feel as if God is affirming certain things to us again and again and continually teaching us new things. It has been quite the learning experience.
Last week, while checking his brother's blog, we came across a video called The Ten Indictments. It's almost 2 hours long, but worth the time. We started it late the first night so we only watched about half of it and then finished it the next night. Randy also posted a link to the transcript and we talked about how we wouldn't mind reading through it with a hi-lighter or pen. It's a lot of information to wrap your head around, and some of it you might not like to hear, but all of it is in Biblical context and you can't really argue that.
Anyways, a ton of stuff stood out to us while watching that, but one of the things was when the speaker talked about Christ becoming our sin on the cross. The way he described it - I had never heard it before. I always believed that Jesus died for our sins on the cross but it was never really described to me that he became our sins.
2 Corinthians 5:21 says that "God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God."
Yesterday in our Sunday School class we were finishing up a series on the Atonement. The teacher of the class, who is the associate pastor, asked how - in a time of stoicism, when people showed no emotion going to their deaths or punishment - Jesus showed anguish, even crying out while on the cross.
A couple different ideas poppped up. One woman said that Jesus was stoic while receiving the beatings and whippings, never once fighting back. A man spoke up and said what was on my mind and had been on my mind since watching the Ten Indictments video. Jesus, who is perfect, became sin on the cross. He was separated from his Father in that moment. Yes, there was physical pain going on, but it was probably the spiritual pain that was causing him anguish.
Paul Washer put it like this in the video:
So many people have this romantic, powerless view of the Gospel that the Christ is there hanging on the tree suffering under the wounds of the Roman empire and the Father did not have the moral fortitude to bear the suffering of his son so he turned away. No! He turned away because his Son became sin.
Think of how much sin affects you, how much pain it causes. Now picture God taking on all the sins of the world, becoming them, so that we may have the opportunity to have relationship with the Father and join Him in Heaven. It just kind of makes you stop and think.
As Tim and I were going to sleep last night he made the comment that he can't believe in all his life he has never heard any of this described in this way. I agreed. We both grew up going to church and have attended many different churches between the two of us as we have moved around geographically and grown up. Yet 28 years later, God reveals this to us and it shakes us to the core. It makes us appreciate so much more and fall deeper in love with God, wanting to know Him more and more.
How do you look at the cross?

Happy Birthday, Handsome Boy

August 16th, 2005

August 16, 2006

August 16, 2007

August 16th, 2008

August 16th, 2009
This was the only non-completely blurry photo from your actual birthday so I wanted to also use one from the day before since it's clearer...

August 15th, 2009
...However, you're really into making silly faces right now so this is the best I can find. =)

Happy birthday, Noah (a day late but we had quite the busy and fun weekend!)

It has been a joy watching you grow and learn year by year. You are full of curiousity and you are all boy - dinosaurs, trucks, planes, trains, camping gear, nonstop movement and daredevil tricks that make my heart stop. You are a great big brother. As you start to navigate these 4 year-old waters that are as yet unchartered in our household, remember that Daddy and I love you and thank God for you every day. We are trying our hardest to raise you to know and love the Lord and we love listening to your little prayers that are so pure and honest.

Love you lots,

Mommy

In Regards To...

I wrote a post last week titled "Hard Stuff" (don't bother looking for it.) In it, I described the thoughts that Tim and I are working through as we think about "church." I spent three days writing it and even had an outside source (not Tim) check it before posting it to tell me whether or not if was offensive because that was not what I wanted.
I deleted the post Saturday morning after receiving a phone call the day before. The caller told me my post was "arrogant", "hurtful" and was causing discord within the church. They also criticized me for claiming that my way is the only way. After talking about it with Tim we thought it best to remove the post since there were some people that were not taking it the right way. Until that point, I had had no idea since the comments that were left on it had been encouraging, supportive, and a few even said that they were working through the same thoughts.
It was certainly NOT my intent to be mean-spirited, hurtful or arrogant. And while I am sorry that it was taken that way, I told Tim that I can't apologize for the issues I brought up or wrote about. After all, this is my blog where I do the following things: write updates about our family, and bring up issues in my life I'm dealing with/working through/struggling with. I don't expect everyone to agree with me - when I write about my anti-abortion stance, I can think of one of my high school friends who doesn't agree with me and reads this blog. I have posted my thoughts on birth control pills, which I know many of you don't think the same about. I have wondered about fertility methods and whether we should try to control how many kids God gives us. I have talked about how much I love using cloth diapers and I'm sure that grosses some of you out. It doesn't mean that any of my thoughts or opinions are "the only way" to think on these or that I expect everyone to agree with me.
The things I wrote about with the church have been in my head for a loooong time. This is not something recent. Nor is that fact I wrote about them. I have wrote about music in the church before, wondering what is it that determines "worship" music, and also why in most modern churches today we don't sing hymns anymore? Does the music at a church determine whether or not I want to go there? Absolutely not. It's not a "make or break" issue for me. When I go to a church, do I feel my heart is becoming more prepared when it's quieter with a variety and I can hear the people around me? Yes. But until the church we've been attending the past month, I don't know if I've ever attended a church like that. For me, it comes down to the preaching. I like it from the Bible and about the Bible.
Tim and I don't even know if we are going to end up deciding to go to church within a building. These are things we're talking through and learning about. What did the New Testament church look like? We both come from a mindset that church is for a community of believers who are encouraging each other and equipping each other to go out and make disciples. We think that if Jesus was in flesh on earth today, His church would be smaller than the megachurches. I don't think it's quantity that matters, but quality.
Are those who consider themselves Christians actually following Jesus? His teachings are not always fun to hear. We may not want to agree with some of them, but we can't question Him either on why they are that way. I have to admit that just about 4 months ago is when I feel like I came to know Christ for the first time. I grew up in the church and knew right from wrong and good from bad and what to say, do, volunteer with, etc. It wasn't until I started taking Scripture to heart and realizing the seriousness of it that I felt I finally got it. It was when I realized that I needed to start living with an eternal perspective. Thankfully, Tim was experiencing a lot of similar things at the same time so we have been able to talk to each other a lot about all this.
My post before was not to criticize the church - especially any particular church - but to ask questions. The verse that caught mine and Tim's attention and woke up us was from Revelation 3:15-17:
I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked.
We realized we were living as lukewarm Christians, although if God is going to spit the lukewarm out of His mouth, than can they even be considered Christians? We knew we needed to change our way of living and our perspective. So that's what we are doing. Yet we are concerned when we look around us and see so many people living the same way we were. This is why we desire challenge in the church, why we think that the people in the church should be courageous, to be constantly growing and learning more. It's not a "we hate the church" thing or "we hate your way of doing church." It's wanting to see churches kick the butts sitting in their seats into a deeper, growing relationship with Christ. If you are attending a church I wrote about before and you feel that church is helping you to do those things, then that is fantastic. I just know that those churches aren't doing that for Tim and I as we grow in our own personal studies and as we are challenged in our small group. I have talked to many people around me as well who are struggling with all the same things and wanting more. That is why Tim and I feel there is a type of shift, a revolution as Tim says, that is on the rise.
That's why we are desiring to live differently, to not follow a pastor or follow a church but to follow Christ. The only way we can know how to do that is by studying the Bible, His Word He left for us.
So I am sorry if anyone took my last post in a hurtful way or were offended by it since that was not the point. It was never intended to be harmful but I can see how when things are written and not vocalized, tones can be mistaken. I think part rests on the reader as well and where their thoughts are on the matter. If they disagree with me, I can see where they would think I am attacking when that is not the case.
I hope that, in whatever church you find yourself, you are being challenged, you are growing, you are desiring God, you are learning to live with an eternal perspective, and you are choosing to live differently. Most of all, I hope that you are following Jesus.

Spirit Jump

I joined something called Spirit Jump awhile ago. It was started by a young woman who had a blog called "I Kicked Cancer's Ass." Popularity of her blog grew and people sought her out for encouragement as they battled cancer themselves. She eventually joined up with another young woman who was fighting cancer. They created Spirit Jump. "What is it," you ask? (Or maybe you don't, but let's just pretend you did.)
They send out emails with profiles for people fighting cancer who are in need of a "spirit jump," which is basically just some encouragement. You can reply back if you are interested and they will send you the address for whom you request from the email. You can request as many as you want, or you can let the email go on by and not reply at all. It is as simple as sending a card in the mail letting the person know that you are thinking of them or wishing them well. Some people who are creative make things to send to certain people and others may send gifts or have their children draw pictures to send. We have done both of just sending a card and also putting together little gift boxes to send.
I think this is a great way to teach kids the importance of selflessness, of being thankful for the things they have, of caring for others, etc. Noah loves when we do this. It is an easy way to teach some life lessons, as well as an opportunity to talk about some hard things (regarding people being sick, etc.)
If you are interested in joining Spirit Jump or finding out more about it, please click here. It's worth a few minutes of your time.

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith. -Galatians 6:9-10