Shifting

I think parents have a vision of bedtime being this wonderful peaceful way to wind down a day.  I see a picture of a family snuggled up on a couch reading stories and praying together before walking kids up to their beds, pulling blankets snugly up around them, kissing sweet angelic cheeks and turning out the light while saying sweetly, "Good night, my lovelies."  Then all is quiet in the house while Mom and Dad unwind while reading books and newspapers and magazines.

That's my vision.
This is my reality as of late:

Things are going well through the book reading part.  Then comes the bedtime prayer together and, lo and behold, it is as if the younger ones know what comes next and the fight begins.  Escaping from bed repeatedly, requests for "one more sip" (often denied since they get a little water before bed), one more trip to the bathroom, non stop talking, etc.  Next thing Tim and I know, we're wrapped up in their chaos just to get them to be quiet and go to bed.  While trying to enjoy a movie together, there is a constant pausing and exchange of "It's-your-turn" looks until somewhere a half hour or so later, they finally give up and drift off while we are on the verge of quitting parenthood or contemplating telling childless couples to keep their lives simple and don't give in to the "When are you going to have kids?" pressure.  Hey, you may not like what I'm saying; I'm just being honest about the feelings in that moment.

You know what bothers me most about all this monkey business?  Yes, the disobedience is aggravating and the stalling is exhausting, but what bothers me most is my reactionary attitude.  I have gone from those blissful dreams of a lovely bedtime routine - which we have experienced along the way, don't get me wrong - to this raging monster of a mother who has waited all day for some quiet time alone with her husband and is mad that it's being taken over by little buggers.  I find it easy to fly off the handle and yell at the kids because I have dealt with them all day long and I just need a break, good night.  And honestly, when you're at home you're never on break because even during bedtime you're still there and still a parent.  But, anyways, I hate who I am during the bedtime battle.  And, yes, I realize that it probably reveals a heart issue, but that's probably for another blog post.

Tonight I caught myself in the battle alone since Tim is at a meeting. About a half hour into it I found my voice starting to get louder and my jaw becoming sore from clenching it while hissing out the words "Get back in bed and be quiet."  I don't know what hit me, but as I was walking up the stairs yet again, a voice in my head said, "You have 4 mainly healthy kids.  They were given to you.  Shift your perspective."

So instead of wishing I was totally alone in the house, I thanked God for my 4 little ones.  

Instead of wanting to tape their mouths shut, I gave thanks that they can speak and have healthy sets of lungs.

Instead of losing my patience with their climbing out of bed, I was thankful for their abilities to walk (especially since the youngest two had to have physical therapy to help them walk.)

Who would have thought that less than 5 minutes later, all would be quiet in the house?  It was almost as if the battle stopped cold actually.  I heard Caleb's voice drift off while singing "Do you want to build a snowman?" (his favorite song at the moment.  He sings it all day long, no matter where we are.  Just ask the lady in the restroom at Frederick Meijer Gardens yesterday.)

I am not writing this for advice regarding bedtime.  We've tried everything and have accepted that this may just be a phase when you have kids...especially when the youngest two are still 4 years old and 2 years old.  Noah and Ellie go to bed just fine for us.

I mainly wanted to encourage that sometimes it just takes a shift in perspective to allow God's strength to come upon you.  Thankfulness is a powerful thing.  It keeps your heart focused on what's important.  It's easy to become pessimistic and downtrodden but when your heart is thankful, the rest of you follows.

"And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."  ~Colossians 3:17