Don't you just hate when that happens sometimes? Especially when you know it's not a good thing you do.
I realized that whenever someone asks how many kids I have, after I answer, "Four" I always follow up with, "Yeah, we only wanted two but God gave us two bonuses."
I thought that because I had switched from calling two of them "unplanned" to "bonuses" I was doing well. Yet yesterday I started wondering why I can't just shut my mouth after I say, "four."
Why do I feel like I need to justify why we have four children? Why do I feel like I need an excuse for having more than two of them? I can't say it's because of the people we're surrounded by. My sister has three, one of my sisters-in-law is pregnant with her third, and my other sister-in-law has SIX! Most of our friends have more than two, many of them are around the three or four mark, some have none. I've never heard any of them apologize for the amount of kids they have, or even don't have.
So, what is my issue?
I think it's that I didn't think I would have this many kids so sometimes I can't even believe my mouth can form the word "four" in response to the question. Or maybe I think it's an excuse for looking like a run-down and ragged mother? "Well, I would look better with two kids, but you know, since I got more than I planned on, I just gave up."
I don't know. Either way, I am actually thankful for this hard realization that knocked me over yesterday. I made a commitment to stop apologizing for the number of kids I have. I envision the next conversation going like this:
Random Person: So, how many kids do you have?
Me: Four
Random Person: Oh, wow. You have your hands full. [Because that is almost always what is said next.]
Me: Yeah, full of awesomeness.
[Ok, maybe not that. Let's try again:]
Me: Yeah, full of great fun and some chaos thrown in to keep it exciting.
[A little more realistic.]
So.
Hello, my name is Andrea. And I have four children.
They're pretty stinkin' cool and I love them to pieces.
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