I Love This Man

It could be that I'm extra-hormonal, or just having been through everything we have in the past few months I'm more sensitive...but I don't think I have ever loved Tim more so than I do now. He amazes me with his strong faith, positive outlook on life and our future, encouragement, crying shoulder, and sensitivity. He doesn't complain when he is asked to rub my feet or back and loves to spend the evening with his hand resting on my belly waiting for a hello kick from our daughter. He is fantastic with Noah and is the one that gives him a bath and puts him to bed at night. He is able to sense when I am tired and encourages, if not orders, me to go rest for as long as I need.

I love watching his interaction with Noah and how much Noah absolutely can't get enough of him. I know that the dynamics of our family will change after the baby comes, but I am glad that Noah and Tim already have a closer bond than Noah and myself so that I do not feel too much like I am betraying him with another child. Not to say that Noah doesn't love me, but when both Tim and I are home - his preference is Tim and I am fine with that. It hurt at first when he would hurt himself and cry for Tim instead of me...then I realized how cool that must feel for Tim to be the one who can give him comfort after two years of Noah preferring me. I can't wait to see how he does with a daughter.

Yesterday at church Tim was on the worship team. He sang "Everlasting God" and during the song I looked at him and my heart swelled with love. I am so blessed to have found a soulmate that I can walk this life journey with. I couldn't have dreamt of anyone better suited for me and able to challenge me in the ways he has. Our wedding day, May 24, 2003.

Our first home was an apartment, but this was the first house we bought less than a year after we were married. Mayfield Avenue, Grand Rapids. We had great neighbors. And our first "child", a chocolate lab we named Pippin. Unfortunately, a doctor encouraged us to get rid of him after I started having breathing problems a couple years later. Looking back, I don't think it was due to him at all...but he is with a fantastic family now and I think with how much we've moved around since then that it was probably better for all involved. I do miss him.We were lucky to celebrate our first anniversary with a trip to Cancun. My sister and her husband were going down for her belated graduation gift from our uncle and they asked if we wanted to come along since it's a suite condo. I had been a few years before for my graduation gift and was thrilled to go back. We had a great time...and apparently gained some sunburn.Waiting for the arrival of Noah Edwin. Tim was the textbook father-to-be that day: timing contractions and getting frustrated if I didn't let him know when was starting so he couldn't time correctly, taking pictures (surprisingly this is me before the epidural and I'm smiling), and waiting nervously.I will never forget this first time he held Noah (thank you to whatever nurse snapped this shot) or the first time he saw him. He cried so hard I was actually jealous that I couldn't match him. Another day he cried much harder than me: Noah's dedication. He sang "Holy is the Lord" by Andrew Peterson and although he had practiced numerous times at home, I don't think the lyrics hit him until he was singing it in church staring at Noah in the front row. If you've never heard the song - go find it. It's on one of the City On a Hill CDs. It conveys the story of Abraham being asked to sacrifice Isaac and what he must have felt that day, yet still being faithful in obeying and as a result God does spare Isaac. Randy (on guitar) and Deidra (on piano) did a great job covering for him until he could pull it together enough to finish the song.

Now we await the arrival of Eleanor. I am excited to be going through this process with him again. I can't wait to see what is in store for our family over the coming years.